Ah, the things we can’t live without. For some, it’s the perfect cold brew to jumpstart their morning. For others, it’s binge-watching their comfort show for the hundredth time (looking at you, fellow "Parks and Rec" devotees). But when I sat down to think about my own list, I realized it was less about physical items and more about the essentials that color my life with meaning. Let’s just say if life were a flan, these are the ingredients that make it sweet.

So, what are my can’t-live-without essentials? I’m glad you asked. Grab your cafecito and let’s dive in.

1. Flavors That Feel Like Home

Let’s start with the obvious: food. And by food, I don’t mean avocado toast (no shade if that’s your jam, though). I mean the smell of pan Cubano toasting in the morning, the tang of lime squeezed over a perfectly fried tostone, the warm comfort of my mom’s arroz con pollo. These flavors are non-negotiable, and not just because I grew up with them—though, yes, my parents’ bakery was basically my second home. It’s because each bite feels like a hug from someone who knows you better than you know yourself.

Food isn’t just sustenance; it’s memory. Every pastelito de guayaba reminds me of sneaking into the bakery’s kitchen as a kid, powder sugar staining my shirt like it was a badge of honor. And honestly, if a date doesn’t appreciate the wonder of a properly made cortadito, it’s probably not meant to be.

Pro Tip: Find the “flavors” that ground you and share them with the people in your life. Whether it’s your abuela’s famous soup recipe or your favorite diner’s greasy fries, food has a magical way of turning fleeting connections into something deeper. Just maybe avoid the garlic-heavy stuff on date one.

2. My Daily Dose of ‘80s Salsa Music

Look, you haven’t lived until you’ve danced in a small kitchen to El Gran Combo while waiting for your rice to finish cooking. Salsa is as essential to my life as morning caffeine is to others. There isn’t a stressor in the world that a little Celia Cruz “¡Azúcar!” can’t fix.

That music raised me. It’s the soundtrack to family gatherings where someone inevitably shouts, “¡Baila, Raúl!” halfway through the night. Even when life gets messy—because it always does—those beats remind me that joy can be found even in the chaos.

Pro Tip: Music is intimacy. Whether you’re sharing a playlist with someone new or introducing them to the songs that shaped you, it’s a way to let people into your rhythm. And if they can salsa, marry them immediately. Or at least let them teach you.

3. The Sacred Morning Walk

Hialeah might not be at the top of anyone’s “dream destination” list, but for me, it’s home. And one of my favorite rituals, no matter where I’ve lived, is a morning walk. There’s something about the stillness of the early hours (well, except for the guy yelling about lottery tickets outside the bodega) that feels grounding.

During my brief stint at a writers’ residency in Key West, this habit had me traipsing past historic homes and banyan trees while chewing over where to take my next story. Back in Miami, it’s about finding beauty in the predictable—the older women chatting loudly on their porch, the street vendor setting up shop, the familiar smell of Cuban coffee wafting by.

Pro Tip: If you’re navigating post-heartbreak blues or want some clarity about your life (or maybe that confusing text you got at 2 a.m.), take a walk. Movement loosens not just the body, but the mind. Bonus points if you can convince someone special to join you. Walking and talking is one of the most underrated forms of connection.

4. Books—The Great Love Affair

Books are my forever companions. Romantic? Maybe. Nerdy? Absolutely. But there’s something incredibly grounding about paging through a favorite novel with worn, dog-eared corners. I’ve always been drawn to tales of love and loss—the kind that make you ugly cry on a sunny afternoon. (Looking at you, “The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.”)

I can honestly trace most of my important life lessons back to something I’ve read. José Martí taught me about resistance and resilience. Sandra Cisneros showed me the power of home and heritage. And Pablo Neruda? Don’t even get me started on what Neruda could teach you about passion.

Pro Tip: Share your favorite book with someone you care about. It’s a bold move, sure, but it also invites vulnerability. And if they don’t cry at the same part that broke you? Well… hey, maybe opposites really do attract.

5. The Group Chat That Never Sleeps

Here’s the thing about growing up Cuban American: family isn’t just family. It’s a whole ecosystem. And these days, that ecosystem largely lives in my family group chat. There’s the cousin sending blurry photos of her cat dressed as Bad Bunny, the tío refusing to text and only replying with inexplicably long voice memos, and the constant back-and-forth about who’s hosting dominoes night this weekend.

Sure, it’s chaotic (and good luck sneaking off on a date without someone asking, “¿Y ese quién es?”), but it’s also the glue that keeps me rooted. Relationships thrive when you let other people in, and for me, those “other people” are my boisterous, nosy, and undeniably lovable tribe.

Pro Tip: No matter how busy life gets, carve out a space for your people. If dating someone new, don’t rush to introduce them into your world, but once the time feels right, let them see the wholeness of who you are. Flaws, quirks, and all.

6. Chocolate and Therapy (In That Order)

Confession: I bribed myself into going to therapy with the promise of chocolate afterwards. It started as a trick to get through the door, but over time, both became essentials in my toolkit. Because surprise—healing isn’t always poetic. Sometimes it’s about crying into a tissue, unpacking why that thing your ex said three years ago still stings, and rewarding yourself with truffles on the drive home.

Therapy taught me the importance of showing up for myself and others. And for all the ways it’s helped me navigate relationships (romantic and otherwise), it’s also a reminder that self-love is the foundation of everything else.

Pro Tip: If chocolate’s not your thing, find a treat that feels indulgent yet grounding. Better yet, combine it with doing the hard work of emotional growth. Whether you’re single or coupled, being real with yourself is the sexiest thing you can do.

7. Lessons Passed Down Through the Generations

When I think about love, I don’t just mean the romantic kind. I think of my abuelita, who told me, “La paciencia es la llave del éxito” (“Patience is the key to success”) over and over during my most stubborn teenage years. I think of watching my parents, who worked side-by-side in a bakery for decades yet still found ways to flirt when they thought no one was looking.

The wisdom of past generations is a treasure chest I dip into constantly, especially when I’m turning over big questions about relationships and life. And while I haven’t exactly cracked the code to forever love, I know this much: the lessons I’ve learned about loyalty, compromise, and humor are worth carrying forward.

Pro Tip: When you’re stuck on something (a fight, a tough decision, a rough breakup), think about what the wisest people in your life might do. Whether it’s your mom or Oprah, it’s helpful to step outside your own head and process things from a wider perspective.

Here’s The Thing…

When you really boil it all down, the things you can’t live without aren’t just quirks or preferences. They’re the threads that weave your story together—the flavors, sounds, rituals, and lessons that make you who you are. And the best part? Sharing that story with someone else is one of life’s sweetest joys.

So, whether you’re salsa-ing your way through date night, spilling family tea over a cafecito, or simply taking a solo walk to clear your mind, remember: your essentials are part of what makes you unforgettable. Now go find someone who’ll appreciate your playlist, your books, and your favorite pastelito. Or just savor them solo. Either way, you’ve got this.