I once read that what you can’t live without tells you more about who you are than anything else ever could. It stayed with me, mostly because I had to pause and ask myself what I couldn’t live without. My brain, naturally, went to coffee first. Then to lipstick. Then to the smell of the street after it rains. And before I knew it, everything spiraled into a list so long it felt more like a love letter to the things that make me, well… me.

So, here it is—my list of essentials. These aren’t just objects or habits; they’re little anchors in the whirlwind of relationships, work, and life. They hold me steady, make me laugh, or remind me of home. Some are deeply practical; others are just plain fun. And all of them? Completely, unapologetically mine.

Pisco Sour: Liquid Confidence in a Glass

Look, some people can’t live without their morning green juice; I can’t live without an occasional well-made Pisco Sour. It’s not just a drink; it’s an experience wrapped in frothy citrus and nostalgia. Try sipping one while an abuelita plays her guitar in a plaza in Santiago, and you’ll know what I mean.

This cocktail doesn’t just taste good—it’s a personal time machine. Every sip brings me back to my twenties in Chile, catching drinks with friends, debating Neruda versus Parra, and wondering why every great romance in Latin American literature had to end in heartbreak. Nowadays, it’s my go-to for date nights at home. (If I’ve learned anything, it’s that someone who can mix drinks with you while still making you laugh is worth keeping around.)

Post-Its: My Love Letter Factory

Don’t underestimate the power of Post-Its. They’re tiny, colorful squares of emotional expression—perfect for jotting down reminders (like “buy more wine”) or, better yet, secret notes you stick where someone will never expect them.

In relationships, it’s the little things that matter, and Post-Its are my secret weapon. I’ll leave one on the bathroom mirror for my partner before work or slip one inside their book when they’re not looking. They’re silly, heartfelt, and sometimes wildly inappropriate (because every romance should have laughter). One tiny neon square writing, “You’re my favorite weirdo,” can do wonders for connection. Trust me.

Violeta Parra’s Music: An Anthem for the Soul

Some people wake up to pop or heavy metal; I put on Violeta Parra when I need to feel grounded. Her voice? Pure emotion—it’s like a hug wrapped in political activism and poetry.

Violeta’s music often reminds me why shared emotions matter in relationships. Her lyric, “Gracias a la vida que me ha dado tanto” (“Thanks to life, which has given me so much”), is a perspective-reset button. It’s an invitation to sit with gratitude—not for some picture-perfect future, but for the messy, imperfect present. She even keeps me steady during heartbreaks—the ones you think you'll never move past until you do. (My tip: pair her songs with wine and a journal. It’s like therapy without the copay.)

My Library of Dog-Eared Love Stories

I could live without Netflix (probably), but my dog-eared books? Never. There’s a stack of love stories near my bedside that basically is my personality. Isabel Allende’s The Stories of Eva Luna? A masterpiece. García Márquez’s Love in the Time of Cholera? A slow burn I measure all other slow burns against.

The thing about love stories is they’re not just about the grand gestures. They remind me that connection lives in small moments, too: the shared silences, the inside jokes, the way someone says your name like it matters. Plus, they’re a reminder that it’s okay if love doesn’t look like it does in the movies. It’s messy—and that’s what makes it beautiful.

Red Lipstick: My Instant Confidence Boost

Forget the “eat, pray, love” routine. When I need to feel like myself again, I swipe on red lipstick. It’s the one thing that makes me feel invincible, even when I look like I’ve been up all night stress-baking cookies. (Which, let’s be real, happens often.)

Red lipstick has seen me through first dates, interviews, and countless nights out dancing in Madrid. It’s fun, it’s bold, and it doesn’t care if people think it’s “too much.” Plus, let’s not neglect the power move of leaving a perfect lipstick print on your wineglass during a date. Trust me: subtlety is overrated.

Cooking Without Recipes: A Love Language

When I was little, my mother taught me cooking wasn’t about measurements—it was about intuition. “Smell before you taste,” she’d say—and now I can’t imagine living any other way. Give me a glass of wine, some fresh tomatoes, garlic, and olive oil, and bam: love on a plate.

Cooking isn’t just practical to me; it’s also one of the ways I connect with people. Food is full of romance. It’s a cozy dinner for two, lounging barefoot in the kitchen. It’s a potluck with friends where everyone brings a little of themselves. And yes, it’s burning the arroz once in a while because you got too caught up telling a story.

My Notebook (AKA My Backup Brain)

I’ve tried phone apps; I’ve tried digital planners; but nothing beats the joy of pen on paper. Sometimes it's doodling ideas for stories. Other times it's venting about a crush or figuring out why the smell of roasted coffee reminds me of an ex who loved jazz.

My notebook is where I disappear when I can’t quite make sense of my emotions. Writing is cathartic—whether it’s turning heartbreak into bad poetry or sketching out how I can surprise someone I love. I think everyone could use a backup brain (preferably one that comes with dramatic flair).

Sunsets: Proof That Free Things Matter Most

Finally, I can’t live without sunsets—watching them, chasing them, being surprised by them. There’s a magic to sunsets that have nothing to do with where you are but everything to do with who you’re with—or who you’re dreaming about.

Sunsets are my reminder to slow down when life speeds up. Whether I’m in lively Santiago, vibrant Madrid, or just out on an impromptu Friday-night walk, sunsets make me pause. (Pro tip: always look behind you—half the best colors show up where no one thinks to glance.) There’s poetry in those moments, something invisible but electric.

Finding Your Essentials

You might be reading this list and thinking, “Cute, Carmen, but none of this is on my list.” That’s fine—your essentials aren’t mine, and they shouldn’t be. The point is to figure out what fills your days with delight, what makes you feel alive, and what grounds you when things fall apart.

So grab a pen, a Post-It, or even a lipstick (I don’t judge), and jot them down. Is it the smell of jasmine at dusk? Long car rides with someone you adore? That one song you listen to on repeat to pump yourself up?

Because the truth is, when life gets tricky—and let’s be real, it will—it’s these tiny, personal touchstones that keep you anchored. And that? It’s what makes the whole mess worth it.