“Music, you’re the real MVP.” That’s something I’ve said out loud—too many times to count, honestly. Whether I’m ironing one of my dad’s brightly patterned shirts as a teenager in Lagos or nursing post-breakup heartbreak on a drizzly Brooklyn afternoon, music has always been my anchor. But recently, I realized just how intertwined certain songs are with my creative process—and my dating journey. It turns out, the playlist that defines my life might also be the secret sauce behind my writing and relationships.

So, let’s press play on this soundtrack, shall we?

Track 1: Fela Kuti's “Water No Get Enemy” – The Foundation

Growing up in Lagos, Afrobeat wasn’t just background noise—it was life itself. Fela Kuti’s music poured through speakers at neighborhood celebrations, during road-side dinners of suya, and on the crackly radio in my dad’s shop. There’s this fire in Afrobeat—grounded yet inventive—that shaped my worldview.

“Water No Get Enemy” taught me early on that simplicity and fluidity can be revolutionary. Like water, this song reminds me to stay adaptable and to never underestimate quiet strength. I’ve tried to carry that into my relationships. Be like water, Malik, I tell myself when I really want to be petty during an argument.

Practical takeaway: Find your rhythm (pun intended). That low-key, timeless track that makes you feel like yourself? Lean on it, especially when life or love gets chaotic. Having a song like that is like keeping your favorite hoodie nearby—it’s a reminder of comfort, roots, and self-acceptance.

Track 2: Solange’s “Cranes in the Sky” – The Glue of Adulting

Adulthood hit me like a freight train when I moved to Brooklyn at eight. One day I was chasing kites in the Lagos sunset; the next, I was tucked into a too-small apartment, watching my parents hustle like superheroes. Later, it was my turn. That grind to navigate art, identity, rent, and love is real, y’all.

Enter Solange in 2016, like a guardian angel crooning, “Cranes in the Sky.” This track spoke to every part of me that I pretended wasn’t overwhelmed. Creativity blocked? Take a pause. Romantic hiccup? Sit with it. In my writing life, this song is my reminder that forcing something just doesn’t work—whether it’s a sentence that isn’t landing or a conversation in a struggling relationship.

Real talk: Creativity and love are both about timing. If you rush them, you miss the process; if you avoid them, you miss the beauty.

Track 3: John Coltrane’s “Naima” – The Long Exhale

Let’s slow things down for a second. Picture it: a chilly fall night in London, grad school deadlines breathing down my neck, but I’ve snuck away to a late-night jazz club. Coltrane’s “Naima” oozes from the stage like smoke. Suddenly, the world feels still.

That song became the quiet before my storms—both creatively and emotionally. It’s the music I turn to when I’ve written myself into a corner or when I start tanking those much-needed heart-to-hearts in my relationships. I imagine he’s playing each note with someone special in mind, and it reminds me to bring intentionality into everything I touch.

Big lesson: Pause frequently. Whether that’s a moment to breathe or a quick minute to feel gratitude for the people in your life, you need it. “Naima” is my reminder to savor the small stuff—because, often, it’s not small at all.

Track 4: Burna Boy’s “On the Low” – Spicy Inspiration

Sometimes inspiration tastes better when it has pepper. Burna Boy embodies swagger and ease—something I try to channel both in my writing and when I put myself out there romantically. Let’s not lie: “On the Low” is a whole vibe. It’s the type of song that makes you stop mid-writer’s block, dance around your chair with all the energy of someone pretending they don’t pay bills, and somehow land an incredible paragraph afterward.

If I’ve learned anything about romance or storytelling, it’s that playfulness matters. Love (and creativity) thrives when there’s room to breathe, surprise, and, yes, dance awkwardly like no one’s watching.

Relationship tip: Add a “feel-good” song to your date-night routine. Burna Boy and whatever has you vibing like your best self? Thank me later.

Track 5: Lauryn Hill’s “Ex-Factor” – The Heartbreak Anthem

Ah, heartbreak. The great equalizer. If “Ex-Factor” hasn’t hit your chest like a sledgehammer at least once, I’m questioning whether you’ve ever felt feelings. This song got me through a breakup that felt like Broadway-level drama—rainy nights, rereading old texts while Samovar tea grew cold on the nightstand. (We’ve all been there, yes?)

Lauryn Hill is the patron saint of emotional purging. Writing through heartbreak while hearing her belt “It ain’t workin’, it ain’t workin’…”? Free therapy, no co-pay. This track taught me that sinking into your feelings isn’t weakness; it’s how you make space for what’s next in your life.

Creative takeaway: There’s wisdom in the messy. Feed that heartbreak into your work—your writing, your playlists, your future plans. It might just teach you how to hold your heart with both strength and tenderness.

Track 6: Beyoncé’s “Love On Top” – The Celebration Song

Not every chapter of life is hard! Some are a cascade of joy, a string of “can-you-believe-this-is-my-life?” moments set to a sunshine-bright soundtrack. For me, “Love On Top” is that vibe. It’s my go-to for every milestone: finishing my MFA, signing my first piece of fiction, and toasting to love stories—both on the page and off.

Pro tip: Use this song as ritual. Big date night? Press play. Got through a brutal workweek? Sing it in the shower (terribly, if you’re like me). The key takeaway is this: Cherish joy when it shows up, and make it last with a good song and a moment of gratitude.

BONUS TRACK: The Playlist Revelation

If life is a mixtape, then what we choose to put on replay reflects what centers us. For me, these songs represent survival, self-discovery, vulnerability, and the fearless pursuit of connection. In other words, they’re me.

Whether you’re curating your own life soundtrack or focusing on the next verse in your personal story, remember this: Having go-to songs is like having a squad of emotional lifelines. They’ll hype you up when you’re slipping, prop you up when you’re wobbling, and—they might just nudge you into making the first move with that new connection you’ve been afraid to text.

Because, like Solange said, we legit can’t do all this life stuff alone. Sometimes all you need is your people, your playlist, and maybe a dish of suya to get through it.

Now, what’s your soundtrack?