Finding Myself, One Boarding Pass at a Time
Have you ever boarded a plane ready for adventure but instead found yourself thinking, “Am I actually about to ‘eat, pray, love’ my way through this solo trip?” Asking big, soul-searching questions at 35,000 feet is practically a travel rite of passage. For me, hopping from tiny Idaho towns to unfamiliar cities has taught me more about myself than any personality quiz ever could. (Sorry, Buzzfeed.)
While exploring new places, I’ve learned that travel isn’t just about finding incredible views or Instagram-perfect cappuccinos—it’s about uncovering which habits, quirks, and truths we carry with us wherever we go. Here are a few things I’ve discovered along the way.
1. I’m the Protagonist of My Own Coming-of-Age Travel Movie
Remember when Julia Roberts was motorbiking through Bali or Reese Witherspoon was hiking thousands of miles on the Pacific Crest Trail? Yeah, traveling will do that to you—make you feel like you’re in the middle of your own wildly poetic montage.
Growing up in Coeur d’Alene—where life could often feel as “chill and repetitive” as the steady lap of water against the dock—traveling gave me a taste of drama. Suddenly, life was full of possibilities beyond the pine-lined roads I once thought stretched as far as the horizon.
I’ve been the “lost girl” with the wrong map in Prague, the “curious dreamer” flying over snow-capped peaks in Alaska, and the “messy yet lovable lead” wiping marinara sauce off my jacket in a Rome trattoria. In those moments, I realized I wasn’t just looking for adventure. I was seeking new ways to see myself.
So here’s your first tip: Lean into those cinematic feelings. Get dramatic in Paris. Cry tears of joy watching sunsets in Moab. Be the lead character in your life—and don’t shy away from cheesy moments. Those are the ones that stick with you.
2. Plot Twists Are Inevitable (And Hilarious in Hindsight)
Nothing keeps you humble quite like a canceled flight or a missed connection in an unfamiliar country. I’m not a naturally patient person—if something doesn't go according to plan, I immediately start spiraling into a “how-could-this-happen-to-me” mindset. Or at least, I used to.
Like the time I accidentally booked a rental car in the wrong time zone while traveling solo through Oregon. After spending an extra hour at a cafe waiting for the office to open, I learned two things: 1) Google Maps cannot solve all your problems, and 2) flexibility is a survival skill.
Adventure thrives in unpredictability. When plans fall apart, it’s a reminder that life—and love—aren’t meant to be flawlessly structured. This lesson also translates to relationships. Sometimes, the “perfect date” turns out to be hot-wax-level awkward when you spill your drink on them, or the person you thought was “The One” turns out to hate your favorite Beatles album. Such moments teach us to adapt and, occasionally, laugh at ourselves.
3. Mountains Are My Mirror
There’s something about standing at the base of a mountain that forces you to take stock of your own inner landscape. Growing up with the jagged peaks of the Cascades looming close taught me to respect the earth’s power—and my own resilience. That lesson hit even harder at Montana’s Glacier National Park during a solo hike. Alone with nothing but my bear spray (a piece of dating advice on its own, honestly) and the sound of my shoes crunching the path, I realized how much I relied on others to validate my choices.
Travel isn’t just a vacation; it’s an unfiltered picture of who you are when no one’s around to guide or influence you. Turns out, I’m braver when I’m alone than I ever gave myself credit for. I bet you are, too.
Here’s an exercise: Try something on your next trip that feels just a little daunting. Take a small boat to an isolated island, or hike a trail where GPS won’t save the day. You might surprise yourself with how capable—and grounded—you really are.
4. Small Talk Can Lead to Big Revelations
I grew up talking to strangers. (No, not that way.) My family’s lakeside resort was like a rotating cast of travelers, each one eager to swap stories about their hometowns, hobbies, and, occasionally, their wildest travel mishaps. One thing I learned early: A seemingly inconsequential conversation with someone you’ll likely never see again can leave a lasting mark.
Once, while on a group tour through Sitka, Alaska, a retired schoolteacher struck up a conversation with me. His unsolicited travel advice? “You’ve got time. Don’t rush straight to the ending in life—or in books. You’ll miss too much along the way.” At the time, I was nose-deep in edits for my first novel, panicked that nothing would ever be done. He reminded me that unfinished, open-ended things can still be full of meaning.
On your next trip, put your phone away for a few minutes (you’ll be fine, I promise) and strike up a conversation with someone at a bakery, on a ferry, or in line for some ridiculously overpriced museum pass. It might not change your life, but then again... it might.
5. Sometimes, Life Feels Lighter Away From Home—and That’s Okay
There’s this undeniable weirdness about taking a plane thousands of miles from home and realizing that, in this fresh, unfamiliar place, you suddenly feel... more like yourself. It’s a bittersweet realization, but a necessary one.
For me, this epiphany hit strongest while wandering through Reykjavik. As I compared the shining, ocean-front cityscape to Idaho’s evergreen tranquility, it struck me how much permission I was giving myself to just be. I didn’t have to play the “hometown girl who writes angsty nature essays.” I could be someone who tried weird Icelandic snacks instead of pretending to like them.
Travel lets us leave old definitions of ourselves behind, which can be liberating if we’ve been stuck in routines or labels that no longer fit. But the key is to carry that freedom back home. If you feel lighter, explore why and how you can bring that openness back with you.
Go Find Your “You”
My trips have taught me that the places I go are just as much about looking out as they are looking in. Travel, at its core, is a mirror—and sometimes the reflection will surprise you. From mountains to missteps, from strangers to serendipity, there’s something about leaving our comfort zones that sharpens who we are in the best ways.
So pack your bags, take the wrong map, and fall into the type of plot twist that makes for a great story later. And remember, next time you’re contemplating the Big Questions from a too-small airplane seat, you’re not alone. You’re merely in the middle of the best journey of all: finding a deeper, cooler, messier version of yourself.
Bon voyage—I’ll see you out there.
