From “I Could Never” to “Watch Me”: How I Beat Self-Doubt

The Mirror Never Lies (But Sometimes It Trolls)

I remember staring at my reflection in a café window in Paris, croissant crumbs tumbling conspicuously down my scarf (so chic, right?), thinking, “What am I even doing here?” This was during my semester abroad, and despite my curated Instagram posts of cobblestone streets and Montmartre sunsets, inside, I felt like an imposter. Everyone else seemed to stroll through Paris with poetic ease, while I clutched my Métro map like it held national secrets.

That feeling—raw, gnawing self-doubt—followed me beyond that café, across oceans and years, sneaking into almost every “new” I ever attempted: a new job, a new city, even new love. Sound familiar? We’ve all been there. You're standing at the intersection of “Should I even try?” and “Who do I think I am?”—wondering if anyone can see through your fragile shell of confidence. Spoiler alert: they can’t.

But here’s the thing about imposter syndrome: it doesn’t have to define you. In fact, it’s more like that annoying mosquito in the summer—it won’t stop buzzing in your ear unless you swat it. Here’s how I learned to do just that, one uncomfortable step at a time.

The Dating Analogy: Fake It Until You Feel It

Overcoming self-doubt feels remarkably like a first date. You know, the awkward dance between “Should I laugh at that joke?” and “Why did I just tell them I enjoy interpretive dance—what even is that?” The trick? Pretend you’re confident (even if you aren’t) and keep going despite the cringe moments.

That same strategy works in life. Case in point: my first writer’s conference. Imagine a room brimming with people who discussed Faulkner casually, while I Googled him under the table (I KNOW, OKAY?!). I sat in the back, nodded knowingly, barely spoke, and assumed everyone in the room smelled my insecurity. Here’s the twist: no one noticed. If anything, the quieter I was, the more I came off as “mysterious.” (Spoiler: totally accidental!)

The lesson? Half the battle is showing up, even if your inner voice says, “You’re a fraud.” Wear the metaphorical nice blazer (or your sharpest mindset), answer questions thoughtfully—even if your palms sweat—and do not overanalyze who laughed at your joke. Sometimes confidence happens retroactively, only after you realize no one’s head exploded.

But What If I Really AM Faking It?

Great question. What’s the dividing line between feeling unqualified and outright pretending you’re something you’re not? It’s simple: action.

When I started writing novels about Montreal’s culture-scape, I constantly questioned my voice. Who was I to write about a city built by centuries of Québécois writers? But self-doubt stood no chance once I hit “submit” on a manuscript draft. Taking action is like posting that selfie you’ve been overanalyzing for ten minutes. Sure, maybe your bangs were weird. But it’s out there! Someone likes it—and maybe, so do you.

The antidote to imposter syndrome isn’t sitting in a corner hoping you eventually “feel ready.” It’s diving in before your inner critic has a chance to catch up. Whether it’s starting your novel, pitching that grand idea at work, or—let’s be real—asking for a second date, action shuts down the self-imposed limits that keep you stuck.

Self-Compassion: The Quiet Warrior

Self-doubt thrives in perfectionism, and perfectionism is essentially your inner critic dressed as Regina George from Mean Girls. It might roll its eyes and insist that unless you get it exactly right, everyone will SEE you FAIL. But play a little game with it: counter passive-aggressive sabotage with intentional kindness.

A tip I’ve used? Come up with a mantra. Mine was simple: “Even if it’s messy, it’s meaningful.” Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I remind myself that EVERYTHING—progress, connection, learning—is inherently messy. You think Céline Dion hit every note the first time she stepped on stage? Non, mon chéri. She practiced, missed notes, sang through doubt, and still built a legend.

If you wouldn’t say something harsh to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself. Be softer, forgiving, and yes, even a little silly. You’ve got enough people critiquing from the outside—why mirror them internally?

A Confidence Playlist Makes ALL the Difference

Music is the ultimate hype man. Whenever I need a boost, I put on Coeur de pirate’s “Ensemble” or anything by Beyoncé (because obviously). There’s magic in the way a great song inhabits your veins, telling you, “You’ve got this. You are this.” Playlists transform mood faster than even caffeine—a fact I learned living in Montreal, where freezing rain can do the opposite with alarming efficiency.

Here’s my three-song starter kit for beating self-doubt:
- “Run the World (Girls)” – Beyoncé: Gender-neutral title if you think about it.
- “Papaoutai” – Stromae: Dance through the doubt. Bonus points for attempting bad choreography.
- “Don’t Stop Me Now” – Queen: If Freddie Mercury can’t revive your moxie, no one will.

Whether you’re facing an intimidating meeting, new project, or even just a tough day, curate your own soundtrack. Your future self is already vibing to it.

What Self-Doubt Teaches You (Yes, Even Impostors Learn)

The plot twist? Self-doubt isn’t all bad. Stay with me here. It forces humility, introspection, and yes, even growth. When I was struggling to write one of my first short stories, wondering if anything about my identity as a writer was even special, my professor told me: “The most authentic voices are usually the ones questioning themselves.”

Being “uncomfortable” doesn’t mean you’re unqualified. It means you’re growing. Anytime you step into a new chapter—in work, relationships, or personal development—it’s like entering uncharted territory. Do you feel like Magellan exploring a new world? No. Do you feel like you’re in Crocs at the Met Gala? Absolutely. But the simple act of taking those steps will eventually build confidence.

The Takeaway: You’re Gracefully Becoming

Here’s the big secret: nobody really knows what they’re doing, but the ones who succeed keep putting one awkward foot in front of the other. Whether it’s standing out in your field, asking out that cutie from your pottery class, or owning your worth in ANY room, self-doubt stalks us all. What sets the dreamers-turned-doers apart isn’t their lack of insecurity—it’s their ability to move, sing, laugh, and dare anyway.

So, start where you are. Dance through your perceived flaws (interpretively, if you’re bold), work messy, laugh at your gaffes, and press “send” on that manuscript—or that text. You can go from impostor to expert, one brave step at a time, all while being unapologetically, gorgeously, you.