Ever tried stuffing your life into one suitcase for a weekend getaway? That’s basically what I’m attempting here—except with my entire essence. This is a list of the things I simply can’t live without, the quirky constants that make my world go round. Of course, beyond the essentials like oxygen, food, and Tide Pods (because, laundry), these are the unique, oddly specific staples that define who I am—and maybe, just maybe, you can relate.

1. A Worn Copy of “Gift from the Sea” by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Here’s the thing: Relationships can be as turbulent as a Nor’easter on the Maine coast. This book, a combination of lyrical musings and practical wisdom, has been my quiet lighthouse. It’s got a way of making sense of solitude, love, and our ever-complicated need for connection. Honestly, I’ve consulted these pages more times than I’ve texted my friends “wyd” after 10 p.m.

There’s something grounding about Lindbergh’s imagery of shells representing life stages. When I was 22 and convinced a summer hookup was my twin flame, this book reminded me that it’s okay to outgrow a relationship, much like hermit crabs move houses (why does no one talk about how much breakups resemble crustaceans upgrading their shells?). If you’ve never read it, trust me—it’s an essential, whether you’re rethinking a relationship or just reorganizing your mental tidepools.

2. Reliable Hiking Boots

A pair of beat-up hiking boots has carried me through more than muddy trails—sometimes, they’ve been my best therapist. In my twenties, I’d lace them up after particularly heinous first dates. There was the guy who made me split the check and “Venmo him for my half,” and another who told me he didn’t believe in the concept of hobbies (red flag). Every post-mortem hike felt like a reset: fog rolling through pine trees, my boots carving out steady paths one step at a time.

Hiking is my reminder that you don’t have to run—literally or figuratively. You just need to keep walking, one foot in front of the other. Plus, boots don’t ghost you.

3. My Great-Grandmother’s Coffee Mugs

You’d never peg them as heirlooms. One features an ancient diner’s logo that’s almost rubbed off, and the other has a vaguely offensive joke about lobsters. But these mugs have history, grit, and (I swear) better coffee vibes than anything I pick up at Starbucks.

Every morning, they remind me that life happens in the everyday rituals: mornings when I’ve clutched one too tightly after a breakup, or when I’ve used it to toast a second date that gave me butterflies. These mugs carry more stories than my dating life (and trust me, that’s saying something).

4. Ocean-Scented Air

I know this one isn’t portable, unless there’s a candle company out there that’s somehow bottled low tide correctly (spoiler: they haven’t). But here's what I’ve learned growing up on the Maine coast: The ocean has an uncanny way of setting things in perspective. While the waves don’t give you relationship advice—because that would be terrifying—they remind you to ride out rough patches. Swell after swell, calm eventually returns.

Early morning beach walks, salt air filling your lungs, and sand sticking to your boots—trust me, you'll find clarity faster than scrolling through an “Are they into me?” forum.

5. Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumours”

Any functional human being should own this album—or at least have it queued up on Spotify. Want to process heartbreak? “Dreams.” Need assurance that everyone is a little messy in love? “Go Your Own Way.” Trying to convince yourself to emotionally un-invest from the person who texts back once every six days? “Don’t Stop.”

Growing up near Acadia, this soundtrack provided the courage I needed, from dealing with teenage friendship drama to unearthing feelings I buried under layers of self-protection post-divorce (okay, not me, but Stevie Nicks still made her point). It’s peak catharsis—part ballad, part emotional butt-kick.

6. Wild Berry Jam from the Farmers’ Market

Hear me out: Jam is the MVP of relationship metaphors no one asked for. It’s sweet, but too much of it can overpower a meal. Great jam requires time, patience, and a dash of creativity—kind of like building healthy connections. And wild berries? They're proof that sometimes life’s best flavors exist outside overly curated grocery stores and predictable choices.

This jam takes me back to childhood picnics with family and distinctly awkward beachside dates. Honestly? Spread it on toast and tell me it doesn’t taste like summer hopefulness in a jar.

7. A Notebook That Isn’t My Phone

Digital flirting is fine—until you accidentally “like” someone’s old Instagram post while scrolling on impulse. But when it comes to real reflection, nothing beats pen-to-paper. I’ve filled dozens of journals in my life, most of them angsty scrawls about relationships (at age 18, I wrote dramatically that “love is like a moon jellyfish—ethereal, yet sting-y,” which was… a lot).

As a writer, my notebook’s where I decompress after life throws me curveballs, romantic or otherwise. Between its pages, confessions feel safer, observations become clearer, and that horrible blind date somehow turns into an anecdote that makes my friends cry-laugh.

8. A Good Wool Blanket

This one is less glamorous but very, very necessary. Whether I’m curled up on my porch listening to the waves or watching the first snowfall kiss the rocks, my wool blanket follows. It’s weathered last-minute family visits, impromptu stargazing dates, and hours spent sitting in my feelings.

There's something grounding about wrapping up in something that somehow feels both sturdy and soft—like an ex you don’t regret but probably wouldn’t marry.

9. Sea Glass

I collect it, not obsessively but intentionally. Every piece tells its own story of rough seas, broken shards, and time polishing the edges. To me, sea glass reminds us that imperfections can be breathtaking. I carried a tiny cobalt-blue shard on a particularly nerve-wracking first date and kept twirling it in my pocket like a lucky charm.

Since then, it’s become my talisman—a reminder that even when you bruise a bit, you come out the other side with a little more character. Also, it pairs great with metaphorical Instagram captions.

The Takeaway: Build Your Survival Kit

Not everything on this list will resonate, and that’s okay because life’s less about duplicating someone else’s essentials and more about curating your own. Whether your “can’t live withouts” include matcha lattes, road trip playlists, or the scent of freshly printed books, these small constants center us when life—or love—gets wobbly.

So take stock of your essentials, hold onto what fuels your joy, and use them to navigate the ebbs and flows of those deep human connections. Maybe even take a seaside stroll with a lobster-themed mug while blasting Fleetwood Mac—it’s done wonders for me.