Have you ever thought about what your life might look like if it were turned into a movie? I think about it a lot—probably too much. Maybe it’s the writer in me, but I can’t help picturing myself walking along the rocky shores of Bar Harbor as a sweeping indie folk track (think Fleet Foxes, obviously) underscores a scene of profound self-reflection. My hair, tousled by the salty breeze, looks effortlessly beachy in that Hollywood way that real life never manages. A seagull caws overhead. A lobster boat chugs in the distance. Maine plays itself, of course. Hollywood couldn’t paint the right shade of Atlantic gray if it tried.
But the real fun? Casting the characters that make up my life. Who plays me? What about my best friend, my dad with his encyclopedic knowledge of seabird calls, or that adorable crush I had on the park ranger last summer? Let’s break this down, shall we? Grab some popcorn—and maybe your own mental casting notebook—and let’s dream up a cinematic version of life’s little dramas, victories, and love stories.
The Lead Role: Me, Written by Me
Okay, here’s the tricky part. Do I go full aspirational and say Florence Pugh? She’s got the range to handle my deep, reflective tidepool monologues and the awkwardly charming person-who-trips-over-a-root-while-flirting moments. Or should I lean into the quirkier side of things—think Zoë Kazan, with her offbeat energy and that natural, down-to-earth vibe? She could definitely rock the crunchy-yet-nerdy New England aesthetic: L.L. Bean boots, a windbreaker, and a journal perpetually tucked under one arm.
Realistically, though, whoever lands the role has to love long hikes, dork out over tide charts, and convincingly portray someone who once baked a sub-par blueberry pie to impress a date. (Spoiler: It was not impressive. There’s a reason my mom was the B&B baker, not me.)
The Parents: A Masterclass in Love and Resilience
For my mom, I’m leaning toward Julie Walters—you know, Mrs. Weasley in the "Harry Potter" series. There’s something grounding about her presence, like she always smells faintly of warm muffins and knows exactly how to wrap you in a hug when you’ve had one of those days. My mom’s intuition could probably outsmart any GPS, and Julie Walters practically radiates that “I know where you left your car keys” energy.
As for Dad, I’m calling it now: Sam Elliott is the obvious contender. Picture this—his gravelly voice narrating a scene as we trudge up a trail in Acadia. “Your life’s like hiking, kiddo,” he’d drawl. “Sometimes uphill, sometimes downhill, but always plenty to see.” Everyone loves a deep metaphor, right? Plus, Sam Elliott looks like he could rattle off a fact about puffin mating habits without referencing Wikipedia—the litmus test for playing my father.
The Love Interest(s): Maine Crushes and Missed Connections
This part’s a bit harder because, well, my romantic life hasn’t exactly been a rom-com. It’s more of an indie drama with comedic interludes. Maine’s dating scene feels small, like repeatedly shopping at the same farmers’ market and running into all your exes near the goat cheese stand. Still, there have been a few standouts.
For the park ranger crush? We need someone rugged but thoughtful. Jake Gyllenhaal in his “Brokeback Mountain” era comes to mind (minus the cowboy hat, plus a National Park Service patch). He’d nail that quiet intensity, the kind of guy who teaches you how to properly tie a bowline knot while you try not to make a fool of yourself.
The guy I dated briefly and who ghosted me after apple-picking? A younger Adam Driver could capture his deeply confusing mix of charm and aloofness. (Side note: Why does apple-picking feel like the quintessential autumn date, even if it inevitably ends with someone ghosting someone else?)
The Supporting Cast: Friends Who Deserve Their Own Spin-Offs
No movie is complete without a killer supporting cast, and frankly, my friends steal the show. My best friend Megan? She’d 100% be played by Aubrey Plaza. Imagine the sarcastic quips, the grin that’s half “I love you” and half “Please stop talking about tide patterns before I lose my mind.” Megan has this incredible way of grounding me when I get too in my head, which—as a writer who solves approximately 57% of her problems by hiking alone on a mountain—is often.
Then there’s my neighbor, Mrs. Callahan, who’s kind of the de facto mayor of my street in Bar Harbor. Helen Mirren would slay this role. Picture her, regal as ever, handing me saltwater taffy while casually dropping unsolicited life advice. “Abby, dear, life’s too short not to flirt with the cute boy baiting traps at the harbor.” Honestly? She’s not wrong.
The Setting: Maine as a Mood Board
The easiest part of this theoretical film is the setting because Maine doesn’t require CGI or clever lighting tricks to look good. Acadia’s jagged cliffs, the mossy pine forests, the fog rolling in like a soft, woolen blanket—all of it naturally cinematic. The iconic Jordan Pond House could double as the café where I pen my heartfelt reflections, and Bar Harbor’s little bookstores and wharves make an ideal backdrop for meet-cutes and existential musings. I’m picturing Wes Anderson as the director here; he’d give the scenery the symmetrical framing it deserves while capturing the quirk of small-town life.
Lessons Learned in Pre-Production
So what does all this casting mean in real life? It’s a reminder to celebrate the people who make up your story—the mentors, the crushes, the best friends rolling their eyes at your inside jokes. Sometimes, we’re so focused on the plot (the outcomes, the goals, the heartbreaks) that we forget how much the other characters and even the setting contribute to the tale we’re weaving.
If my life were a movie, I’d want it to feel honest, funny, and a little bittersweet. I’d want it to show that dating is messy but worth trying for, that you can find friends who laugh at (and with) you, and that sometimes it’s okay to play the heroine who eats slightly burnt popcorn in her pajamas during the quiet scene.
And if your life were a movie? Well, I bet it’d be worth watching. Who’s on your dream cast list? And don’t forget, even the smallest roles deserve applause.
