I’ll never forget my first date at a Nashville coffee shop: I was 16, suuuuper into writing angsty songs, and lovingly misunderstood (as every teenager thinks they are). He was in my algebra class, tall with a mop of curls and a knack for making people laugh. Halfway through the date—right between my poetic over-analysis of why 19th-century writers loved rain so much and his impromptu juggling demonstration using sugar packets—he looked at me and said, “You know, you’re kind of... strange, but in a fun way.”

Reader, I was mortified. Strange? Was this code for quirky or full-out weird? But after stewing over it at home, in true dramatic-teen fashion, I realized something: he was right. And maybe, just maybe, being a little strange was my magic sauce. That date—and countless awkward ones to follow—taught me a huge lesson: the ordinary things that make us insecure often become the extraordinary things that help us connect.

Ready to figure out your secret sauce? Let me be your trusty tour guide from Ordinary Town to Extraordinary City because, spoiler alert, the journey isn’t as far as it seems.

Embrace Your “Sugar Packet Juggling” Moments

You know that quirky habit or little story you keep stashed away because you think it sounds silly? That’s the gold, y’all. The moments that make someone stop mid-sentence and say, “Wait, YOU did what?” are the things that set you apart.

For me, it was confessing to someone on a walk through Centennial Park that I once made my dog, Hank, a playlist of country breakup songs because I worried he might be bored with his car ride jams. (Don’t judge. Dolly’s “I Will Always Love You” is Hank’s ultimate fave.) Instead of looking at me like I was bonkers, this person started cracking up and said, “Tell me more dog-approved hits!” The conversation blossomed into a hilarious back-and-forth about Hank’s hypothetical Spotify Wrapped, which turned into a very real and memorable connection.

So, what’s your sugar-packet-juggling story? What’s that one thing you think is too “odd” to share? Spoiler alert—it’s probably more relatable than you think.

Stop Trying to Be Everyone’s Favorite Song

Not everyone loves country music. And I’ve made my peace with that (after years of explaining why Patsy Cline was a better therapist than Dr. Phil). The same goes for you. The fastest way to be unforgettable isn’t trying to appeal to absolutely everyone; it’s about leaning into what makes you you.

Think about Dolly Parton’s rhinestones. She’s sparkly, out there, and unapologetically herself—and because of this, her fans adore her. Sure, she’s not for everyone, but for her people, she’s unmatched. You’ve got to be your own rhinestone cowboy: confident in your shine, even if it blinds a few folks.

Instead of worrying about attracting everyone, focus on creating moments that show the kind of person you are, loud and proud. Do you cry-laugh at TikToks of dogs in Halloween costumes? Great—own your absurd joy. A killer connection has depth, not just breadth, and it starts with showing your true colors.

The “Karaoke Rule” of Self-Presentation

Let’s talk about karaoke for a hot second. The best karaoke performance isn’t the person who sings Beyoncé’s “Love on Top” perfectly. It’s the one who belts out Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” like their rent depends on it even if they hit none of the notes. The same idea applies to how we present ourselves in relationships: enthusiasm trumps perfection every single day.

You don’t have to be polished. You don't need a grand story, a perfect anecdote, or a glamorous resume of hobbies. The best way to connect with someone is to show you care—about life, about a silly hobby, or about the people around you. Enthusiasm is infectious, and it turns ordinary moments into extraordinary ones.

Find Comfort in the “Offbeat”

Here’s the kicker: connection isn’t about perfection or pageantry. It’s about sharing pieces of your life—even the unexpected, unpolished, or slightly offbeat ones. It’s about the peculiar ways you eat your fries (is it fries dipped in strawberry milkshakes? No shame!) or the fact that you have an alarm on your phone titled “hydration station” to remind you to drink water.

When I was growing up, my family’s offbeat rituals often embarrassed me. My dad made up goofy songs about mundane tasks, like “Put Your Socks in the Laundry Basket” (a classic, by the way). For the longest time, I thought we were strange—where was THE COOLNESS? But eventually, I saw these quirks as what made us, well, us. They carried warmth, humor, and connection. Turns out, a little offbeat harmony can make all the difference when you’re building a bond.

Pro tip: Start small. Test out sharing one of your quirks in a low-stakes scenario. You’ll be surprised how often others will respond with “Wait, same!” or “Okay, I need ALL the details.”

The Happy Ending Isn’t the Whole Story

Here’s a truth we often don’t hear enough: connections aren’t about swooping in and saving someone or perfectly mirroring their vibe. Instead, a meaningful relationship comes from accepting someone’s quirks AND offering yours in return. Think of it like a good duet—sure, each voice might have a different texture, but when they blend together, it makes something beautiful.

So how do you move from ordinary to extraordinary? You don’t have to. You already are extraordinary, in every little messy, mismatched, soulful part of yourself. Whether you’re humming along to your own tune or belting it across a room, trust in its magic—and don’t stop believin’.

That mop-haired juggler from my first date? He taught me something important, even if we didn’t last long-term. Forget playing it safe or blending in: celebrate your rhythm, your quirks, and your song because they’re precisely what make people lean in and stay for the encore.