“Do you know what’s so great about Japan?” I asked my friend over facetime, as she stirred her late-night bowl of boxed mac ‘n’ cheese. “I can sit in a café alone, eating a slice of cheesecake, and no one bats an eye.”
Her response: “In Japan you found cheesecake and self-discovery. I found my purpose in the Trader Joe’s frozen section.”
Fair enough.
Listen, travel isn’t just about trinkets and Instagrammable views. It’s a front-row seat to a masterclass in self-awareness, and let me tell you, wandering through unfamiliar streets with a suitcase that somehow always has a broken wheel gives you some real perspective. The surprising part? Those lessons that start with a train delay in Tokyo or a blissful nap on a Chilean beach always find their way back to your relationships—romantic, platonic, and especially the one with yourself.
1. You Can’t Run Away From Your Baggage (Literal or Emotional)
Ever tried navigating a Paris metro station? The winding staircases feel tailor-made to remind you that over-packing is a rookie mistake. After one ambitious trip, when I lugged a suitcase half my body weight up seven flights of stairs in a historic Lisbon Airbnb, I learned a universal truth: carry only what you need, in travel and in life.
How many times have you carried metaphorical “baggage” into relationships? Old insecurities, doubts, unresolved issues from exes who lived in your head rent-free... Learning to pack light isn’t just practical for that rushed Ryanair connection — it’s a mindset. Travel forces you to start fresh, to say, “Do I really need this?” before boarding the flight or committing to another cycle of overthinking why someone replied with "k" instead of "okay."
Actionable Takeaway: Before hopping into something new (relationship, job, or two-week Bali vacation), pause and assess: What’s truly essential, and what’s just weighing you down? You’ve got enough literal baggage at the airport carousel—don’t add unnecessary emotional cargo.
2. Flexibility Is Hotter Than Any Perfect Plan
Once, I carefully mapped out a week-long trip to the Navajo Nation for a project connecting with my family’s roots. I arrived with an itinerary tight enough to keep an anxious overachiever awake at night. But five hours in, the plan unraveled when a local elder invited me to join an unplanned gathering. Over fry bread and laughter, I learned more about my heritage than I’d have found in any guidebook.
Relationships work exactly the same way. You can script out how you “think” everything will go: the perfect first date, the dreamy commitment phase, the Spotify playlists you’ll co-curate during road trips. But life—and love—has a funny way of throwing curveballs. Learning to pivot when things don’t go exactly as planned is a life skill worth honing. Spoiler alert: it also often leads to the most memorable moments.
Actionable Takeaway: Treat life, love, and travel like improv comedy. Say “yes, and…” when new opportunities pop up. That flexibility is where growth (and the best stories) happen.
3. Food Is the Fastest Way to Understand—and Love—Yourself
Let’s get one thing straight: if you ever decide to insult a Spaniard by rushing through breakfast, you’re missing out on a life lesson. In Spain, I learned to soak in the slow rhythm of a morning café con leche paired with pan con tomate. No emails, no distractions—just me, a plate, and the kind of self-reflection that your therapy app wishes it could rival.
Trying new cuisines is an act of vulnerability. It’s you, sitting in a Korean BBQ joint, not entirely sure if you’re about to fall in love with kimchi or politely spit it into a napkin when no one’s looking. But if you approach each dish like you approach getting to know someone—curious, open-minded, and maybe a little daring—you often walk away learning more than just whether you’ll order it again.
Actionable Takeaway: Be intentional about savoring. Not just food, but people, experiences, and feelings. Treat your time (and your heart) like a five-star meal you refuse to rush through.
4. Awkward Moments Are Character Development
While traveling solo in Chile, I accidentally joined a group of retirees on a wine-tasting tour. It turns out that small talk with an 84-year-old about the “emotional complexity” of a merlot is both humbling and hilarious. Awkward? Sure. But also a reminder that uncomfortable moments are where self-discovery hides.
Relationships have no shortage of cringe-worthy encounters: a flopped pickup line, meeting someone’s parents and accidentally calling their mom by the wrong name (true story, still makes me sweat). But every awkward moment is a bridge to connection. The trick is embracing the “what just happened” moments rather than running from them.
Actionable Takeaway: When things feel cringe in dating or travel, remember: THEY’RE TEMPORARY. Lean into the awkward, because a lot of the time, what feels weird in the moment becomes the stuff you laugh about later—or the thing that unexpectedly bonds you with someone.
5. The Right People—and Places—Feel Like Home
There’s this word in Japanese: ibasho. It roughly means “a place where you can be your authentic self.” While spending time in rural Japan, I found my ibasho not in a postcard-perfect temple, but tucked away in a tiny noodle shop run by a warm elderly couple who didn’t speak a word of English. I felt welcomed just as I was—jet-lagged, confused, and all.
Whether it’s a person, a city, or even an unexpected pit stop on the way to somewhere else, certain things just fit. The same way you can walk into a bar in Rome and feel like you’ve been there your whole life, you can meet someone who makes you want to stop pretending or performing. Home isn’t always a physical place—it’s a feeling.
Actionable Takeaway: Pay attention to when and where you feel most at ease. Those moments—those feelings—are signposts pointing you toward what (and who) truly matters.
6. You’re Stronger (and Smarter) Than You Think
Traveling solo means you’re your only problem-solver. There’s no one else to blame when you miss your train connection or accidentally offend a street market vendor by haggling too aggressively. You’re in the thick of it, figuring it out in real-time, even when you're tempted to call your mom and beg her to fix your mess (yes, I tried this at age 26).
But over time, you start to trust yourself. You learn how to think on your feet, apologize in broken Italian, or master using a currency conversion app in line at the store. That same kind of resilience works wonders in relationships. You’ll never really know what you’re capable of until you’re faced with a moment that asks you to be brave, to adapt, or to communicate vulnerably.
Actionable Takeaway: Give yourself more credit. Whether it’s sorting out foreign currencies or navigating a tough conversation with your partner, you’ve got the tools—you just need to trust them.
The Final Boarding Call
Travel has a cheeky way of handing us mirrors, whether it’s in the form of a breathtaking view or a canceled flight. What it reflects isn’t always what we expect, but it’s always valuable. Every misstep, every astonishing discovery, every belly laugh over a poorly translated menu—it all teaches us something.
So if you ever feel stuck, in life or in love, remember this: a change of scenery can do wonders for your perspective. And whether you’re walking cobblestone streets in Europe, sitting on a desert rock under the vast Navajo sky, or sipping overpriced airport coffee during a layover, there’s one constant. You’re learning. You’re growing. And most importantly, you’re on your way to the next adventure—hopefully with an extra slice of cheesecake in hand.
