The Songs That Scored My Life (And What They Taught Me About Love, Life, and Creative Chaos)

Let’s start with a truth bomb: If life is a movie, we’re each curating the soundtrack as we go. Some tracks are chart-topping moments filled with euphoria, while others are those melancholy B-sides you can’t help but love-cry to at 2 am. For me, music has always been more than just background noise; it’s been a guide, a therapist, and, frankly, a co-conspirator in many questionable life choices (looking at you, Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours phase). And if music can shape how we feel, then it can definitely teach us a thing or two about dating and relationships, too.

So, what’s on my personal playlist? Well, buckle up, because it’s less of a meticulously curated Spotify list and more of the “shuffle and hope for the best” energy we’ve all embodied on a first date. Here are the songs that have defined my life—so far—and the lessons they’ve taught me about navigating love, creativity, and the vibes.

1. The Beach Boys – “God Only Knows”

When Love Feels Like the California Coastline

Growing up in Santa Barbara, God Only Knows wasn’t just a love song—it was practically a rite of passage. There’s something about Brian Wilson’s layered harmonies that feels like a cool sea breeze kissing your sunburned skin after a long day at the beach. It reminds you that love, in its truest form, is both simple and infinite.

This song has always rung true for me as a reminder that relationships are about finding beauty in the quiet, not just the loud gestures. One of my earliest relationships was with someone who always wanted to show love—extravagant dinners, fancy clothes. But I learned I’m more the type to appreciate small acts of kindness: a handwritten note, or the way they remembered I hate olives on my pizza. God Only Knows taught me that love, like coastal fog, often settles in the tiny spaces you don’t immediately notice—and that those are the parts that mean everything.

2. Fleetwood Mac – “Go Your Own Way”

When Breakups Come With Anthems (And Drama)

Is there ever a breakup that doesn’t deserve its theatrics? Fleetwood Mac crafted this anthem for emotionally-charged departures, and it’s aged like a fine box of overpriced Montecito wine. Every time I hear it, I’m transported to my first real heartbreak in college: a spiraling cocktail of mixed signals and Fleetwood Mac on repeat. There was both shouting and ugly crying. Let’s be real, Stevie Nicks would’ve been proud.

What Go Your Own Way taught me is that it’s okay to embrace the chaos of endings. Sometimes, the best step forward is just to let it out, air-drum like a lunatic, and...move the heck on. Breakups don’t have to be this polished, introspective journey to self-redemption. Let them be messy. (And if you can scream-sing into your car steering wheel during rush hour traffic? Even better.)

3. Joni Mitchell – “Both Sides Now”

Falling for the Beautiful Mess of Life

“I’ve looked at love from both sides now...” You don’t just listen to Joni Mitchell; she happens to you. I discovered this song while living in Palo Alto, that awkward crossroads between my youthful idealism and “Holy crap, adulthood is real.” There’s something haunting about Joni putting life and love into words so raw that they feel like truths you’ve known forever but didn’t have the guts to say.

For me, the song has mirrored the evolution of every meaningful connection I’ve had. Early infatuation, blurred misunderstandings, and that bittersweet realization that nothing’s ever quite as it seems. It’s not about nailing down the perfect relationship—it’s about loving people through their contradictions. It also reminds me that, like in creative work, sometimes you can mold a perfect line (or partnership) only to end up erasing it later. And that’s okay. You’re still growing.

4. LCD Soundsystem – “All My Friends”

Real Love Happens When the Party Ends

Now, let’s talk about transitions. I’ve found that a lot of relationships—and life in general—operate on a spectrum from wild, glittery chaos to deep, grounding connection. LCD Soundsystem hits this middle ground perfectly. “All My Friends” isn’t just a song; it’s a six-minute existential crisis disguised as a dance anthem—and also one of the most accurate descriptions of your late 20s.

It came into my life when I moved from Santa Barbara to Santa Monica. Suddenly, I was in a city that demanded both ambition and late-night skyline confessions over cheap tacos. What James Murphy’s lyrics revealed is that priorities shift. Amidst all the late nights and big moments, real connection sneaks in during the quiet hours—like the friend who offers to drive you home when your phone’s dead. Or the partner who stays up late to help with your creative meltdown. Relationships, real ones, are built when you’re most unguarded and vulnerable.

5. Phoebe Bridgers – “Motion Sickness”

Dating in the Modern Emotional Minefield

Picture this: You’re recovering from a breakup that felt like getting tossed out of a moving car, and along comes Phoebe Bridgers with zero chill about how awful your ex probably was. Let’s all agree: “I have emotional motion sickness / somebody roll the windows down” isn’t just a lyric—it’s a modern mantra for recovering from those too-complicated-to-define relationships. You know the type.

Phoebe’s music became the slow-burn background to my post-grad years navigating murky waters. There were coffee dates that felt like job interviews. Hikes that were way too long for a first date (why?). And moments when all I could focus on was swiping and not enough on being. If anything, “Motion Sickness” reminds me that, in both dating and creativity, it’s okay to feel a little disoriented. That’s how you know you’re living life fully.

How To Build Your Own Life Soundtrack

Now here’s the thing about soundtracks: They’re personal. No two playlists will ever look the same, and that’s the beauty of it. But if you’re looking to curate your own, here’s some wisdom I’ve picked up on the way:

  • Pick a song for every season. Life has ups and downs—your playlist should reflect that. Don’t shy away from adding a silly pop song next to a soulful ballad. One day you’ll need Lizzo-level energy; the next, it might be Bon Iver.

  • Stay open to surprises. Some of the best songs in your life are the ones other people introduce you to. (Translation: Be open to love and friendships that don’t fit your “type.” They might surprise you.)

  • Trust your feelings, not the critics. You don’t have to please anyone but yourself. Whether it’s love, creativity, or music, what resonates with you is more important than following the trends.

The Final Word: Love, Like Music, Evolves

What I’ve learned from my life’s soundtrack—aside from the fact that I’ll probably spend far too much money on vinyl—is that relationships and creativity work on the same principles. Both require curiosity, vulnerability, and a willingness to stumble through some awkward live versions before you hit that polished studio take.

Love isn’t always a perfect melody. Sometimes it’s messy, emotional, and slightly out of tune. But when it’s real, it hits you in the kind of way you’ll want to replay for years to come. So here’s my advice: Keep adding songs to your life. Stay curious, stay playful, and trust me—every great story deserves a killer soundtrack.