Obsession as Connection: Why My Love Affair with Dominoes Tells You Everything About Me
It starts, as most love stories do, with a sound. Not Cupid’s bow, but the sharp clack-clack-clack of domino tiles hitting the table. Growing up in my Jamaican American household, dominoes weren’t just a game—it was theatre. Every slap on the table resounded with years of tradition, pride, and a little bit of trash talk that could rival any battle scene from a Shonda Rhimes series.
As a kid, I’d sneak into our backyard cookouts, wide-eyed, watching uncles line up dominoes like battle-ready soldiers. They held court like kings, laying down their tiles with the swagger of someone dropping a mic. And let’s just say, in dominoes and in life, Jamaicans don’t just play—we perform. This wasn’t just recreation—it was communication. The banter, the strategy, the camaraderie—dominoes were a way to say, I’m smarter than you, and here’s proof on this folding card table. It was bold and unapologetic. And it hooked me like those first crushes you don’t quite understand yet.
Decades later, I still find the magic in it. But here’s the funny thing—it’s not really about dominoes. Okay, it’s kind of about dominoes, but mostly, it’s about how this "quirk" of mine taught me some of my biggest lessons about relationships, life, and, surprisingly, myself.
Lesson 1: Know Your Dominoes—and Know Yourself
Let’s start with the basics. For the uninitiated, dominoes isn’t just about matching numbers. If you walk into a game thinking it’s that simple, you’re in for heartbreak. You’ve got to read patterns, anticipate moves, and sometimes bluff like your love life depends on it. Sound familiar?
In dating, as in dominoes, knowing yourself is step one. You can’t win, or even enjoy the game, if you aren’t clear on what pieces you’re working with. What are your strengths? What are your blind spots? Are you the over-thinker who holds on to all their high-point tiles (read: metaphorical emotional baggage), or the free spirit playing every move without much thought to what it signals to your partner?
Example: Many years ago, I went on a date with someone who described their ideal partner as “low-maintenance, spontaneous, and detached.” Red flags, right? But instead of walking away, I performed a full-on personality pirouette, convincing myself I could embody their checklist. It was a disaster, like stepping into a dominoes game where you don’t even know the rules of scoring. Spoiler: we crashed and burned. Lesson learned? Play your own game.
Lesson 2: It’s All About Chemistry (On and Off the Board)
There’s an art to pairing dominoes together, much like figuring out the rhythm between you and someone else. You can’t just throw down every tile and expect sparks to fly. In both cases, chemistry is half strategy and half magic.
Take my parents, for example. My dad, a man of few words but legendary dominoes prowess, once told me the secret to his decades-long marriage to my mom: She’s good at counting the points I miss. At the time, I thought he meant the literal scoreboard in dominoes (and okay, maybe he did), but as I’ve gotten older, I see the wisdom in it. Relationships thrive not because you’re perfect, but because your partner helps bridge the gaps where you fall short.
Chemistry is knowing your strengths and trusting someone else to fill in the rest. And trust me, whether it’s dominoes or relationships, recognizing a bad match early saves everyone’s time.
Lesson 3: Master the Trash Talk, But Keep It Respectful
Here’s the thing about dominoes: it’s as much a mental game as it is a performance art. Your “chat game” matters. In my childhood home, it wasn’t if you’d trash-talk your opponent, but how creatively you’d do it: “You’re playing slow like you’re waiting for an invitation!” or “What, you saving that six for Christmas?”
In relationships, banter is underrated. The playful teasing that makes you feel irresistibly alive—that’s the good stuff. My partner once told me that my strongest flirting move wasn’t a grand romantic gesture but a well-timed quip about her inability to finish a Netflix series. We laughed, our clicks and clacks falling into place like domino tiles, and it was in that moment we got each other. The secret? Keep it light. Keep it fun. Keep it respectful. Tease lovingly, not cuttingly—and know when to put the joke down so you can get serious.
Lesson 4: Stay for the Long Game
There’s a term in dominoes called “blocking the board,” where players lock up the game so nobody can make a move. It’s frustrating, it’s slow, and it tests your patience—but you’ve got to ride it out. Relationships can feel like that sometimes, too.
There were moments in my parents’ marriage when life felt like a locked board—dreams deferred, bills piled high, long shifts taking a toll. But they stayed in the game, passing the tiles back and forth, strategizing their next move together, even when it felt like nothing was clicking. I take that with me in my relationships. When things get tough, I remind myself that connection isn’t about dodging life’s locked moments; it’s about finding your partner across the table and saying, “Alright, let’s see this through.”
Lesson 5: Celebrate the Wins—Even the Small Ones
Here’s one thing I love about dominoes: slapping that final domino on the table feels euphoric. You might win by a margin of just two points, but the victory will taste as good as any buzzer-beater in an NBA playoff. The lesson? Celebrate what you’ve got, no matter how small it seems.
Life—and love—will throw you curveballs. Maybe the date didn’t go perfectly, but did you conquer your fear of putting yourself out there? Win. Maybe your last relationship ended, but in the process, you learned to advocate for your boundaries. Another win. Stack up those small victories—they’re the ones that build confidence and momentum for the bigger moments.
Final Thoughts: Let Your Obsessions Define You
Here’s the thing about my domino obsession—it’s not niche, not really. It’s about connection, tradition, and love layered over decades of small moments. And that’s what makes it so defining.
So, if you’re like me, the next time someone asks why you’re binge-watching old cooking competition shows or collecting vintage concert posters from the '90s, don’t shy away. Share it. Those obsessions, no matter how quirky, are like the tiles in a domino game—they reveal who you are, what you value, and how you connect with the world.
And who knows? If you let someone in on your passions, they might just sit across the table, laugh at your jokes, and surprise you by slapping down their own double six.
