From Tamales to Turning Points: Building a Life You’re Proud Of
Growing up in Houston’s East End, my family’s version of “ordinary” was anything but boring. Ordinary meant Sundays filled with hours of tamale-making while my Tías gossiped over cups of café con leche. Ordinary was blasting Celia Cruz one minute and DJ Screw the next, because why shouldn’t your music taste wear as many hats as your abuelo’s collection? It was the kind of grounding chaos that shaped who I am today: a writer whose journey from those humble beginnings to now often feels like a second-generation fever dream.
Now firmly in adulting territory, I’ve realized that building a life you love isn’t about rejecting the “ordinary.” It’s about realizing how extraordinary those small, everyday steps—your tamale-making Sundays, your first wobbly attempts at putting yourself out there—truly are. If you’re ready to take your life from “nothing special” to undeniably yours, here’s how I’ve managed to do it, salsa-stained hands and all.
1. Know Your Roots (Even When They’re Messy)
Here’s something no one tells you: Your roots—the people, places, and values that first shaped you—aren’t always Instagram-worthy. For years, I thought my community’s loud, slightly chaotic, close-knit vibe wasn’t “cool.” In high school, I took Spanish class even though I spoke it fluently at home (side note: don’t do this, it’s embarrassing). I tried to carve out a version of myself that looked like the picture-perfect teen sitcom characters I watched on TV. Spoiler: it never fit.
But then came college—specifically, my semester in Madrid—and suddenly, my Cuban-Mexican “mess” was magnetic. People wanted to hear my stories about bachata nights in the backyard or my abuela’s signature arroz con pollo. That’s when it hit me: the pieces of yourself you try to tuck away are often the ones that shine brightest.
💡 Why it Matters: When you’re trying to figure out what makes your life extraordinary, start by embracing your quirks—your nooks and crannies, all of them. Your voice, your personality, your dating life—it all starts with being unapologetically you.
2. Fail Spectacularly (Seriously, It Helps)
Failures don’t feel glamorous when you’re in the middle of them. Like when I botched my first-ever short story submission so badly, I had to double-check if my editor had responded in English because I didn’t recognize such blunt feedback. Or the time I showed up to my first newsroom assignment in heels, only to end the day covered in mud from a rained-out community festival. Cute!
But let me tell you: each stumble became a stepping stone. Failing helped me figure out what I actually wanted to do (write creatively, not repackage press releases). It also forced me to get comfortable with imperfection—because perfection is boring, and boring gets you nowhere fast.
💡 Pro Tip: If you’re waiting for the “right time” to start something big—switch careers, take salsa lessons (I see you, two left feet)—stop. Accept that it will probably be messy, weird, and borderline humiliating at first. Then do it anyway.
3. Recognize Your Reroutes
If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that life doesn't exactly show up with MapQuest directions. (Wait, was that reference too early 2000s? Fine: “You won’t get GPS turn-by-turn instructions.” Better?)
Example: I thought journalism would be my career forever. I didn’t take a single digital storytelling class in college because I "wasn’t creative.” Ha! Turns out, transitioning from local reporting to creative writing was the pivot I didn’t know I needed. My first attempts at storytelling felt as foreign as trying to keep up with Bad Bunny lyrics on 1.5x speed, but eventually, I hit my stride.
💡 What to Do: When things don’t work out how you planned, reframe “failure” as “feedback.” That dream job, relationship, or city didn’t work out? Cool. You’re one step closer to what will work.
4. Date Yourself (Yes, Really)
Okay, confession: When I worked in local news, I was single for so long that my coworkers joked my life was a remake of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days—except I never even made it to day one. During this stretch, I had to learn how to enjoy my own company. For me, that meant discovering new coffee shops in Houston, trying yoga (badly), and volunteering at cultural events (where I also got plenty of free tamales, so win-win).
Nothing you build—whether it’s a career, a relationship, or a new skill—can flourish if you don’t know who you are when no one’s watching. Your grandma was right: taking care of yourself is the foundation for everything else.
💡 Practice This: Be your own VIP date. Take yourself somewhere you’d typically reserve for a partner or friend (hello, solo museum days). Trust me, spending time with yourself will boost your confidence faster than any validation from the outside world.
5. Find Your People—All Types
Building an extraordinary life doesn’t mean doing it all on your own. Remember those gossiping Tías I mentioned earlier? They taught me the art of storytelling before I even knew what it was. Fast-forward to now, and my inner circle is a beautiful mix: artists, journalists, salsa pros (okay, “pros” might be a stretch), and people who simply show up when it’s really needed.
💡 Actionable Tip: Look for different “types” in your circle—mentors to guide you, cheerleaders to support you, and straight-talkers to give you the no-BS truth when you need it. Life’s way more fun when you stop trying to go it alone.
The Tamale Moment
If my life were a playlist, it’d be full of surprises—equal parts reggaetón, indie ballads, and occasional emo throwbacks (because hey, high school was a time). But here’s the thing about pushing yourself from “ordinary” to “extraordinary”: sometimes it doesn’t feel like fireworks or movie montages. Sometimes, it’s your aunt casually complimenting your writing at a family dinner or a perfect stranger DMing you to say “your story sounds like mine.”
Take it from someone who once panicked over her first byline and now tells stories for a living: Extraordinary doesn’t always mean huge milestones. More often, it’s built quietly, step by step, tamale by tamale.
So, what’s your “tamale” moment—something small but deeply yours? Work on that process, with joy and messiness and just enough faith to keep going. Trust me: the rest will follow.
