I used to think the biggest obstacle to leading an extraordinary life was simply not having the right shoes—and, trust me, I’ve tried everything from cowboy boots to desert sandals. But now, years after taking some unexpected twists in my own personal journey, I realize it’s about much more than what’s on your feet. Your path, no matter how humble or sprawling, has a funny way of preparing you for exactly where you’re supposed to go. Let me explain.

From Cactus Grass to Corporate Glass

Growing up surrounded by the pale gold sands of the Sonoran Desert, I had what you might generously call a “structured” environment. Sure, I lived in a gated community where HOA rules were practically etched in stone tablets (no pink flamingos on our lawns, thank you). But that didn’t mean I was fed with a silver spoon. My parents were big believers in pulling yourself up by your bootstraps—or in our case, golf cleats.

Desert hikes taught me endurance, and strategizing a family game of doubles on sunbaked tennis courts made me love the thrill of competition. By the time I got to college, I thought I understood the formula for success: work hard, play harder, and always, always carry SPF. For a while, that philosophy worked. After I launched a marketing career in Phoenix’s startup scene, I was sprinting ahead, climbing the corporate saguaro, one prickly handhold at a time. But here’s the kicker nobody tells you: chasing success can sometimes leave you running in circles, like one of those little desert roadrunners on a cartoon loop.

Discovering the Detour that Matters

The funny thing about successful people is that they rarely talk about the plot twists that almost made them give up. For me, that point came not with some juicy soap-opera-worthy drama, but during a sleepy Tuesday in my office cubicle. I was scrolling through data reports, dreaming about how Frank Lloyd Wright incorporated the Arizona landscape into his designs, and the thought hit me like a golf ball slicing straight into the sandtrap: I didn’t want to be ordinary. I didn’t even want to be extraordinary if it meant walking someone else’s path. I wanted to make my own footprints (desert dust included).

Leaving behind a fast-paced marketing career was terrifying, but it was the first big step toward writing—a career I’d never planned on but had always been secretly flirting with. I’m a firm believer that the best romantic partners, much like the best career moves, are the ones that catch you off guard but somehow feel right.

Character Building Starts with Real Building

Moving from marketing decks to inspirational storytelling didn’t happen in some sort of cinematic overnight montage. There were stumbles. Self-doubt. The occasional Geronimo’s freefall into “What-am-I-doing-with-my-life” mode. The trick, I realized, isn’t to fight those moments—it’s to embrace them.

Wandering the desert (sometimes metaphorically, sometimes literally), I began pulling inspiration from what I knew best: architecture, nature, and human connection. Writing about relationships, whether professional or personal, reminded me a lot of crafting a solid structure. You need a blueprint to avoid shaky foundations. You need details that stand out—a uniquely worded message or an unexpected question—just like how Frank Lloyd Wright added low-slung roofs to make his homes feel intimately tied to the earth.

And much like any good desert home, relationships need maintenance, too. Letting the cracks go unchecked (looking at you, avoidant texters) never ends in stability.

The Secrets to Making Ordinary Moments Shine

So how do you go from ordinary to extraordinary, whether it’s in your love life, your career, or your personal growth? Here are a few desert-inspired strategies I’ve picked up along the way:

1. Pack Light but Dream Big

Out in the desert, carrying too many supplies doesn’t make you better prepared—it just slows you down (and gives you blisters). Similarly, you don’t need to carry every fear or expectation from your past into the present. Be clear about what matters to you—a goal, a deeper connection, a unique gift you bring to the table—and leave the rest in the dust.

2. Get Comfortable with the Heat

Let’s face it: growth isn’t pretty. It can feel like standing in the middle of the blazing sun with your shirt sticking to your back. But transformation happens when you endure discomfort. Awkward pauses on a date? Just another kind of heat. Push through.

3. Spot the Beauty in the Unexpected

A creosote bush in bloom. The golden light cast on adobe walls at sunset. Magic often hides in ordinary details. What’s true in the desert is doubly true in life. Those mundane evenings watching Netflix with a partner? When you look back years later, they’ll glow like an Ansel Adams print.

The Big Lesson: It’s About Building, not Climbing

When people hear “extraordinary,” they imagine grand gestures—the perfect proposal, the dream job, or a wildly adventurous move to a new city. But sometimes, extraordinary isn’t about being flashy; it’s about consistency. It’s about showing up every day and trusting that the small steps add up to something meaningful.

I’ve learned to think of life less like a ladder and more like a piece of desert architecture. Instead of scrambling upward, I focus on what I can build solidly: walls that support, wide-open spaces to let the light in, and a connection to my surroundings that keeps me grounded.

Life, love, success—it’s all so much sweeter when it blends in with your own authentic landscape.

It’s easy to get stuck chasing other people’s definitions of “extraordinary,” but let me remind you of this: there is nothing more extraordinary than realizing your journey is your own, cacti thorns and all. So pack your bag lightly, savor your path, and don’t forget to pause for the sunset along the way. You’ve got this.