If someone had told me back in the day—as I sat on my parents' front porch after a long shift at the diner, sipping sweet tea and staring at the holler stretched out like an oil painting in front of me—that I’d eventually get paid to give people advice about love and relationships, I’d have laughed so hard my grandma would’ve come running out to check if I’d swallowed a bug. Yet, here I am. And while I didn’t exactly take the straight path to get here, this winding road of mine taught me a thing or two about finding meaning in the everyday, and how ‘ordinary’ beginnings can often lead to the most extraordinary stories.

You could say I’ve got a Ph.D. in "small-town human connection," earned long before I ever messed around with grad school applications. Growing up in West Virginia, life was as real and raw as it gets. If you liked someone, you didn’t swipe right or DM them emojis. You just hoped they’d sit close enough at the Friday night football game for you to offer them the good blanket—or at least share your popcorn. That was flirting Appalachian-style, folks. It taught me that relationships aren’t built on grand gestures or perfectly timed pick-up lines. They’re built on authenticity. And guess what? That lesson still rings true today.

Find Your Starting Line: Why Humble Beginnings Matter

When you’re building connections, it can feel easy to compare yourself to others—especially in a world where everyone’s highlight reel is on display five seconds after opening Instagram. But here’s the thing: you don’t need a perfect backdrop or an Ivy League education to bring value to a relationship. If I’d believed that, I wouldn’t be writing this today.

Back home, perfection wasn’t on anyone’s radar. We didn’t dress to impress; we dressed for the weather. We didn’t overthink our conversations; we just invited each other in when the front light was on. Those little, understated rituals—holding doors open, trading stories, swapping jokes over the sound of rain hitting a tin roof—were the bedrock of real connection.

Maybe you grew up somewhere completely different, but trust me, there’s value in whatever shaped you. Your quirks, your roots, that weird story your uncle won’t stop telling at Thanksgiving? Those aren’t weaknesses. They’re proof you’re human. When you let yourself lean into what made you, your relationships start from an honest, beautiful place.

The Beauty in the Ordinary: Why Small Moments Matter More

I’ll let you in on a secret: Not every romantic story needs to play out like the plot of a Nicholas Sparks film (though full props to Mr. Sparks—he writes a rain-soaked moment like nobody’s business). The truth is, the extraordinary rarely shows itself in sweeping gestures, moonlit dinners, or viral-worthy declarations of love. More often, it happens in the mundane.

When I lived in Los Angeles, I dated someone who thought the whole “Appalachian woodsy writer” thing I had going was basically the human version of a vinyl record—charming in a worn, retro way. She loved it at first—until she realized that I could go on for 40 minutes about the science of stacking firewood. Still, one of my favorite memories with her wasn’t some LA big-city extravaganza. It was a lazy Sunday at home, making biscuits together. I showed her my mom’s trick for cutting butter into flour (cold hands, always), and she showed me how to whip honey into soft butter with just the right amount of cinnamon. We laughed when the dough refused to rise, and for a while, we forgot there was an entire world outside the glow of the kitchen light.

It wasn’t the kind of moment you put on a Hallmark card. But it was real. And that’s what matters. Instead of chasing giant fireworks, focus on the warmth of a well-lit fire. Love isn’t about the loud—it’s about the lasting.

How to Embrace Your Extraordinary: 3 Simple Tips

If you’re ready to lean into your unique story and find extraordinary connection, here’s how you can get started:

1. Own Your Backstory

Think about what shaped you, the little details that make you you. Maybe you spent summers helping your grandpa fix cars, or maybe your “thing” in middle school was knowing every Disney Channel movie by heart. Whatever it is, it’s part of your foundation. Share those roots unapologetically. It’s not bragging—it’s being transparent. And transparency is attractive.

2. Celebrate the (Slightly Weird)

We’ve all got quirks—the specific, slightly offbeat parts of ourselves that we second-guess sharing in fear they’ll scare people off. But here’s the catch: quirks are like the seasoning in a good recipe. Without them, it’s all just bland. One of my friends finally won over their now-spouse during a four-hour debate about the best way to rank Taylor Swift albums. Why? Not because of the topic (though serious props for choosing Red as the winner) but because they showed passion, humor, and a willingness to lean into their interests.

3. Dial Back Perfectionism

Let me level with you—there’s no such thing as the perfect relationship or even the perfect first impression. You don’t score extra points for matching outfits or having the perfect date-night script. In fact, over-polishing can make you seem less relatable. The most memorable connections often come from embracing imperfection. Case in point: That time I tripped on a root while trying to impress a girl during a hike? I bruised my ego (and my left knee), but we ended up laughing so hard about it that we still talk to this day. Life’s messy; love’s messier. Own the mess.

The Takeaway: Be A Little More Porch Swing

When I think about my journey from coal-dusted hollers to coastal coffee shops, there’s one common thread: I’ve learned that genuine connection thrives when you’re honest about where you came from, where you are, and where you’d like to be. You don’t need to overanalyze or over-edit. You just need to show up—preferably with a smile and a willingness to learn.

It doesn’t matter if you’re starting your dating life, rekindling a long-time love, or just finally learning how to flirt without panicking. Extraordinary relationships aren’t about having all the answers. They’re about trusting each step of the journey—even if your first step includes nervously offering someone your best blanket on a chilly Friday night.

Keep it real, keep it simple, and remember: The extraordinary is waiting for you in the ordinary. You’ve just got to know where to look.