Curiosity gets a bad rap sometimes. We’ve all heard the saying “Curiosity killed the cat,” as if sniffing around where you shouldn’t is guaranteed to end in disaster. But let’s remember the lesser-known follow-up to that phrase: “...but satisfaction brought it back.” Curiosity isn’t about recklessness—it’s about seeking, learning, and occasionally stumbling into the kind of magic we never saw coming. It’s about letting our natural wonder lead us, even if we’re not entirely sure where we’re headed.

Take it from me—someone whose best stories rarely follow the original blueprint. (And by "blueprint," I mean no plan at all, which is my preferred method of decision-making.) Curiosity, much like a blind date with questionable text banter, can surprise you in the best possible way.

The Accidental Adventure: How a Simple Question Changed My Outlook

Years ago, I found myself guiding a group of tourists on a horseback trail ride through the San Juan Mountains. Among them was a retired professor who struck up a conversation after noticing me scribbling into a leather-bound notebook during our lunch break. He asked what I was writing about, and when I admitted it was an attempt at a novel that probably no one would ever read, he chuckled and said, “You should write about the stories hiding in the dirt. The people who’ve walked where you’re walking.”

I took his suggestion seriously—though at the time, it felt like a polite way to criticize my clichéd cowboy romance plot. But digging into the history of my hometown made me see the place, myself, and even relationships differently. That one comment unlocked an avalanche of questions: What legacies do we carry without realizing it? How much of who we are comes from the landscapes we inhabit? Before I knew it, my curiosity turned into a career shift, a stack of short stories, and a whole new understanding of the connections people make with each other and the world around them.

Long story short, that one curious question came to define my writing voice—and even my approach to relationships. Turns out, curiosity isn’t just good for storytelling. It’s the secret ingredient to finding deeper meaning with others.

The Magic Question: "I Wonder What Would Happen If..."

Relationships thrive on curiosity. Whether within a fledgling romance or one that’s matured into a deep partnership, wonder is what keeps the spark alive. Think about first dates: Are you asking standard-issue questions (the usual where-are-you-froms and what-do-you-dos), or are you peeling back the layers with something more unexpected?

  • Instead of: “Where are you from originally?”
    Try: “What’s a place you’ve always wanted to be from?”

  • Instead of: “What do you do for work?”
    Try: “If you could blow off your work emails for a day, what’s the first thing you’d want to do?”

Imagine how much richer conversations become when the questions move beyond the familiar surface. Curiosity doesn’t just yield better answers; it shows we’re genuinely interested—and that’s where connection happens.

Curiosity works its magic in long-term relationships too. Sometimes, we assume we already know everything about our person and fall into routines as predictable as bad reality show plots (I’m looking at you, The Bachelor). Staying curious means asking new questions, dreaming up fresh adventures, and letting your partner surprise you—because people are endlessly complex if you give them room to be.

A Few Curiosity Hacks to Improve Your Relationships

Not sure how to flex your curiosity muscles? Don’t worry, I’ve got you. Here are some ideas to keep things fresh, thoughtful, and maybe just a little fun:

  1. Treat Every Conversation Like a Treasure Hunt:
    Instead of focusing on what to say next, focus on the hidden gems in what someone’s already said. That moment when they light up talking about their favorite childhood memory? Go deeper. Ask about the experience, how it shaped them, or even what they miss most about that time.

  2. Invite Playful Discovery:
    Next date night, try something neither of you has ever done before—whether that’s learning how to salsa dance or taking a road trip with a destination picked at random. The joy of figuring something out together will bond you faster than another Netflix binge (though no shade to cozy nights in).

  3. Stay Curious About Yourself:
    Relationships are a two-way street. The more we discover about ourselves, our passions, and even our fears, the more deeply we can connect with someone else. Try journaling, picking up a hobby, or exploring something outside your comfort zone. Self-discovery has a funny way of spilling over into everything else.

  4. Create Traditions Rooted in Wonder:
    Instead of the usual anniversary dinner, make curiosity the centerpiece of your celebrations. Maybe every year you uncover something new about your shared past, visit an unusual landmark, or trade books that shaped the person you’ve become. The point is to keep the novelty alive.

Lessons from the Trail (and the Heart)

Back in my tour guide days, every time I took a group up Bear Creek Falls, I learned something new, even though the trail never shifted and the horses always plodded the same route. Sometimes it was a tourist pointing out a wildflower I hadn’t noticed before. Other times, it was a question that sent me digging into local history for some quirky anecdote. The one constant was curiosity.

Relationships are no different. Whether with a partner, a friend, or even yourself, there’s always something left to explore. But being curious requires vulnerability—not everyone’s ready to answer deep questions, just like not every hike comes with perfect weather. That’s OK. Curiosity isn’t about forcing connections; it’s about leaving room for them to grow.

The Joy of the Unexpected

One of the best things about letting your curiosity lead is that you literally never know where you’ll end up. When my now-wife and I first started dating, we bonded over a shared love of storytelling. At the time, that meant trading favorite novels and groaning over inauthentic Westerns in movies. But curiosity kept me asking her questions I hadn’t asked exes before—about her family, her dreams, her view of the world. Turns out, if you ask someone what they’re passionate about, you don’t just learn what gets them out of bed. You learn how they love.

Years later, we still surprise each other—like the time she created a scavenger hunt for my birthday entirely based on Colorado history trivia (I’ll spare you the details of my humiliating score) or the too-many-to-count moments she asked me about my quirks and stubbornness with kindness instead of judgment. Let me tell you, there’s nothing sexier than a partner who’s curious about you, even when they already know the punchlines to your dad jokes.

Conclusion: The World Is Waiting

Curiosity might not fix all your problems, but it’ll certainly make life more interesting. The next time you’re tempted to scroll mindlessly or retread old conversational ground, ask a question instead. Wonder what you don’t know—about a person, a place, or even yourself. The answers might surprise you, shake up your life, or reaffirm what you already knew all along. The magic is in the wondering.

So maybe the cat in the proverb had the right idea. Sure, curiosity might lead to a few scratches…but it almost always leads somewhere worth exploring. Don’t be afraid to follow it. Who knows what you’ll find?