How does a girl who grew up dodging cow pies and writing poetry in her saddle end up here—typing relationship advice to strangers on the internet? Great question. Honestly, if you’d told my dirt-smudged, teenage self that one day I’d trade feeding hay to horses for feeding wisdom to hearts, I would’ve laughed so hard I’d have scared the chickens. But life has a funny way of taking the ordinary and spinning it into something extraordinary, like a plot twist in one of those cheesy romance novels my mom used to hide under the couch cushions.

Making sense of this journey—from the ranch to the page—feels a little like trying to saddle a particularly ornery mustang. Let’s break it down together because, trust me, the pieces will fall into place. And who knows, it might just leave you feeling inspired to rethink your own ordinary beginnings.

Humble Beginnings: From Dust to Dreams

I’ll never forget the smell of mornings on the ranch—freshly cut alfalfa mixing with the earthy tang of horsehair. My world back then was small but incredibly vivid, framed by mountain ridges and the rhythm of sunrise brushing the plains. My daily routine as a kid wasn’t glamorous: hauling water buckets, mucking stalls, dodging overzealous roosters (those feathered jerks held grudges, I swear). But it’s amazing what that kind of life can teach you.

For starters, you learn patience. Waiting for a stubborn mare to step into the trailer or coaxing a reluctant calf to drink is no different from waiting for life to unfold on its own terms. You can’t rush the good things. You also learn to pay attention to the details; noticing the way a horse’s ears twitch is no different than noticing the subtle signals a person gives off on a date. Both can tell you if you’re in safe territory—or if things are about to go south real fast.

But you know what else I learned? You don’t need to come from something sparkly to carve out something extraordinary. The plain, dusty stuff has a beauty of its own. It’s that realization—the quiet kind—that became my first step toward writing stories, and later, toward understanding human connections. Because, admit it, dating can sometimes feel like ranch work: unpredictable, messy, and requiring an eye for signals you might’ve missed if you weren’t paying close attention.

Bridging the Gap: Lessons From Ranch Life to Relationships

You might be wondering, how does wrangling livestock compare to wrangling modern relationships? (Spoiler: It’s not all that different.) Some lessons translate seamlessly and might just hold the key to getting out of ordinary and into extraordinary territory.

1. Every Connection is a Partnership

On the ranch, you quickly learn it doesn’t matter how hard you tug at the reins if your horse isn’t on board. Relationships are no different. The magic happens when there’s trust and mutual respect. Picture it as a two-step dance at a rodeo: you can’t lead without listening to the rhythm of the other person’s steps.

2. Commitments Mean Showing Up Daily

I once cared for an old rescue horse named Daisy. Her anxiety made her skittish, but with consistent care (and occasional peanut butter treats), she began to trust me. Relationships thrive in much the same way—by showing up, not just on the big days but for the small, everyday moments.

3. Get Comfortable With the Mess

Whether it’s spilled oats or fumbling a first date, things get messy. Let go of perfection. Some of the most memorable moments of connection happen when we embrace the awkward, the unscripted, and even the slightly embarrassing.

4. Know When to Let Go

Not every horse is meant to be tamed—and not every relationship is meant to be saved. I learned this the hard way when a bucking bronco sent me sailing face-first into the dirt (a real low point for my dignity). Some efforts are better off left in the dust for your own well-being.

Taking Action: Turning the Ordinary Into the Extraordinary

So how do you spark a transformation, whether it’s in your relationships or in yourself? It starts with taking bold, intentional steps forward. And surprise: the extraordinary isn’t about grand gestures—it’s the culmination of small, meaningful choices made consistently.

Here are some ideas to get you started on your own journey:

  • Lean Into Vulnerability: Let’s face it—everyone loves a “tough cowboy” persona, but vulnerability is where the real connection happens. Don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your flannel sleeve. Share your fears, your hopes, the story about your most awkward breakup (trust me, everyone’s got one).
  • Value Substance Over Flash: A shiny horse isn’t always the best one to ride. Relationships, too, aren’t about the surface stuff—who has the best job, the flashiest wardrobe, or the perfectly curated Instagram. Seek out the people who share your worldview, your values, your particular brand of weird.
  • Cultivate Curiosity: Ask thoughtful questions, both about others and yourself. (I know—self-reflection can feel daunting, but it’s worth it.) The deeper the questions, the deeper the connections. It’s amazing how far “What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?” can take you.

Relatable Advice for the Modern Romantic

You might not have grown up surrounded by pastureland and critters, but we’ve all had humble starts. Even if your past isn’t picturesque (or involves fewer encounters with goats), it’s uniquely yours. The passion, kindness, and lessons you carry are what shape the way you connect with others.

One of my favorite movie scenes comes from The Parent Trap—you know, the part where the twins are on either side of the fence, realizing they’re family? Real connection is like that. It’s about recognizing something in another person that mirrors a part of you. And to spot that reflection, you’ve got to embrace your own story first, banjo twangs, messy chapters, and all.

Putting It All Together

Here’s the most empowering truth I’ve learned over the years: Extraordinary relationships don’t come out of nowhere. They’re cultivated by showing up fully—warts, saddle sores, questionable dating bios, and all. They come from listening, learning, and being brave enough to lead with your true self.

Ultimately, we’re all just figuring out how to connect in this big, chaotic world, whether it’s over a campfire under the stars or across a crowded coffee shop. So saddle up, lean into your quirks, and ride toward what feels real—you might just find that extraordinary is closer than you think.