Have you ever found yourself wondering if the life you’re leading could be just a tiny bit more…cinematic? Not full-on “main character energy” (because let’s be honest, who has the stamina for that every day?), but just a little something extra that makes you feel like you’re hitting your stride. If that’s the case, let me let you in on a little secret: the leap from ordinary to extraordinary isn’t as impossible as it feels.

I should know. I’ve taken it.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to say I’ve got it all figured out—far from it. But I’ve come a long way from the kid writing stories in the back bedroom of my parents’ house on the South Side of Chicago. That quiet space overlooking our neighbor’s rusted chain-link fence was where my words first started to feel like they mattered. I didn’t know back then I’d someday write for a living, let alone explore the rollercoaster world of relationships in a way that connects with so many people. Life, as it turns out, has a way of surprising you in just the right moment.

But that leap? It’s rarely a single jump. It’s more like crossing one of those wobbly wooden bridges from an Indiana Jones movie. There’s a lot of doubt, a few shaky planks, and maybe one or two terrifying moments where you think, “Why didn’t I just stay on solid ground?” Still, step by step, you get there.

Let’s look at how you can start your own journey toward extraordinary—with a side of intentional relationships, self-discovery, and just the right amount of razzle-dazzle.

1. Start Where You Are, Even If It's Messy

I grew up surrounded by the grit and rhythm of Chicago. My parents worked hard—they were the type of folks who believed in showing up, no excuses. My mom, an English teacher, was the one who instilled in me a love of storytelling, often slipping me novels that were “probably a little too grown up” for a kid my age. My dad, in his perfectly pressed CTA uniform, was the type to say, “Boy, never let ’em tell you the journey has to be pretty. You just have to take it.”

And let me tell you, when it comes to relationships, that advice holds up. We’re all starting from somewhere—whether that’s post-breakup blues, recovering from a string of ho-hum dates, or just being scared to put ourselves out there. Stop trying to sand down the rough edges of where you are today; those edges are part of what make you interesting.

Instead of focusing on what isn’t working, take stock of where you’re standing. Maybe you’re like me when I was in high school, writing little poems inspired by Gwendolyn Brooks and trying (badly) to flirt by bonding over Tupac lyrics. Whatever your starting point, trust me, it’s unique and worth owning.

Practical Takeaway: Write down three things you love about where you’re at right now in your life. Yes, even if you’re living paycheck to paycheck and low-key hate your neighbor because they play loud EDM at midnight on Thursdays. Gratitude keeps you grounded during shaky steps.

2. The Pivot Is Powerful—But It Takes Courage

Picture this: me, fresh out of college, standing in front of a room full of middle-schoolers teaching creative writing. These kids weren’t easy to impress, considering Snapchat rosters mattered way more than my lesson on imagery. During one particularly rough day, I wondered if I should give up on teaching altogether. But in the middle of their chaos, one kid wrote a story so exquisitely raw, I had to stop and reframe my perspective.

It dawned on me: sometimes, life shoves you in directions you don’t expect—and that’s where the magic is. When I pivoted from teaching to writing full-time (while simultaneously navigating what you'd call the platonic-to-crush-to-we-should-probably-talk stage with someone I’d been close with for years), that same lesson applied. You don’t get extraordinary unless you’re willing to let go of what’s safe.

Relationships, too, have pivot points. Maybe that means finally calling out the awkward dynamic between you and the best friend you've been secretly crushing on since '22. Maybe it means rethinking what you actually want from a partner, not what Netflix romcoms have convinced you to want.

Practical Takeaway: Ask yourself where you’re stuck and what it might look like to take one small step to shake free. This applies to your career and your heart.

3. Be OK With Being a Little Extra

When I spent a semester in Paris, I got a crash course in stepping outside my comfort zone. Turns out, growing up on Harold’s Chicken and house music doesn’t quite prepare you for bougie dinner parties where 95% of the conversation is about postmodernist poetry. However, there’s something in the French ethos that stuck with me: don’t be afraid to embrace what makes you unique, even if it's a little extra.

For me? That means I stopped being embarrassed about waxing poetic on Miles Davis or quoting Baldwin in casual conversation. When it comes to relationships, your “extra” might be showing your love of obscure '90s cartoons or being unapologetically nerdy about baking artisan bread. Let me go ahead and say: if someone isn’t into your quirks, they aren’t your person. It’s as simple as choosing Harold’s over KFC—like, we don’t do mediocrity here, babes.

Practical Takeaway: Think of something unique about yourself that you might’ve been hiding out of fear it’s “too much.” Try leading with it in your next conversation. Odds are, it’ll be a conversation starter, not a dealbreaker.

4. Lean Into the Full Mosaic of Who You Are

If you’ve ever spent a Sunday afternoon in Chicago’s Bronzeville neighborhood, you know how certain corners pulse with history. Jazz joints hum with energy; murals tell untold stories. It’s messy, layered, vibrant. It taught me, early on, that beauty doesn’t come from shiny surfaces—it comes from blending all the pieces into something bigger.

Relationships are the same way. Plenty of us try to present a polished version of ourselves, thinking it’ll attract someone. I get it: appearing vulnerable feels scary. But the thing about extraordinary connections—whether romantic or platonic—is they don’t come from gloss. They come from honesty. Show people the full mosaic, not just the pretty parts.

Practical Takeaway: Try sharing a story about a challenge you’ve overcome when building a new connection. You’d be surprised how vulnerability creates trust—and maybe even a spark.

The Extraordinary Awaits

Here’s the thing: nothing about going from ordinary to extraordinary is linear. It’s full of detours, doubt, facepalms, and moments when the WiFi cuts out mid-Zoom date (been there). But if my journey from a kid with big dreams on the South Side to where I am now has taught me anything, it’s this: you don’t have to have all the answers right away. You just have to start.

So, whether you’re writing a new chapter of your life, building a connection, or figuring out how to mix just the right amount of flirting with self-respect, keep going. The extraordinary is already within you—it’s just waiting for you to claim it.

Now go. Dust off that metaphorical bridge and start crossing, shaky legs and all. You’d be amazed what’s on the other side.