They say the difference between an ordinary clam and a pearl is just a bit of grit and plenty of time. I know this because I’ve spent hours crouched over the tidal pools of Bar Harbor, waiting for barnacles to stir and sea stars to creep. But in the dating world, transformation doesn’t require decades under briny water—just a smart strategy and a little sparkle to make an ordinary profile extraordinary.

Let’s be honest, online dating is like wandering through the rocky shorelines of Acadia after a storm. There’s potential treasure, but it’s tangled in piles of seaweed before you find it. Your job? Be the pearl that catches someone’s eye in the wash of blurry selfies and fish-holding photos. Let me walk you through it—from one Mainer who learned how to thrive in unpredictable waters to another (or, you know, to anyone feeling adrift in the tides of Tinder).

Step One: Find Your Light (Literally and Figuratively)

Okay, let’s talk profile photos. First impressions matter in the great digital dating experiment. Imagine scrolling through Instagram, your eyes searching for that perfect sunset photo that captures the essence of summer evenings. That’s what your primary photo needs to do—reflect who you are in a way that’s inviting and authentic.

Here’s what’s not authentic: poorly-lit car selfies with sunglasses masking your face like you’re heading to a Men in Black audition. Or worse, group shots so crowded it’s a game of “Where’s Waldo: Swipe Edition.” (No offense to your cousin’s wedding party, but can we not?)

Instead, try this: - Natural light is your friend. Step outside during the “golden hour” (that soft pre-sunset glow I wax poetic about in almost every journal entry). It’s flirty lighting at its finest.
- Outdoors > Filters. Whether it’s a park, your favorite trail, or even the rooftop of your apartment, go for settings that show off your personality. Are you adventurous? Casual? Bookish with a hint of wanderlust? Make it clear.
- Keep it personal. Show us your smile—no duck face, please. And focus on you. The dog cameo is fine for photo two or three, but clarity wins in photo one.

Step Two: Ditch the Résumé-Speak

If I wanted to read a lifeless bullet-point list, I’d revisit the laminated "Do Not Disturb Wildlife" signs my dad taught me to post around Acadia. Your bio shouldn’t feel like LinkedIn, nor should it resemble an episode of The Bachelor where everyone claims they’re “here for the right reasons” but forgets to specify what that means.

Here’s the thing: specificity brings your profile to life. Don’t just say, “I love hiking.” Tell us about the time you ventured out in the rain to chase fairy-tale fog in the mountains or how you carry an emergency stash of peanut M&Ms in your pack “just in case.” Humor makes you relatable. Sharing little quirks and moments gives someone a peek into your world—beyond the basics.

Some ideas to consider: - Lead with action. “Mornings are for strong coffee and stronger opinions about which coastal trail reigns supreme. (Hint: It’s Gorham Mountain.)” - Embrace contrasts. “I’m equal parts a fan of scoping out indie bookstores and belting out Fleetwood Mac at karaoke. Bonus points if you duet with me on 'The Chain.'” - Ask a question. “Best beach bonfire snack: s’mores, hot dogs, or neither? Discuss.”

Make them lean in. Make them laugh. And make them feel there’s more to discover when they message you.

Step Three: Be Surprising but Realistic

Confession: I used to think being extraordinary meant trying to impress people with grandiosity. You know, the kind of dating profile littered with bucket-list items like “Cage diving with Great Whites” or “Training for my third ultra-marathon.” Newsflash: you don’t need to sound like you’re auditioning for National Geographic Live. Most people are scrolling late at night in sweats, and no one wants to feel like they’re applying to date an overachiever.

Here’s what makes you extraordinary: being yourself in ways that make people pause. Be real about what gets you up in the morning—the little things you love that make your life yours. Then, lace that honesty with just the right amount of curiosity or mystery to make someone swipe right.

Try this: - Extraordinary starts with ordinary passion. Love cooking? Share the weirdest ingredient you’ve ever fallen in love with (gochujang, anyone?). Collector of weird facts? (Like did you know lobsters used to be fed to prisoners in Maine?) Make someone want to ask follow-up questions. - Keep it grounded. If travel sets your soul on fire, tell us about that epic trip to Reykjavik—but don’t make every other word “passport” or “wanderlust.” You’re still incredible when you’re not summiting Everest, I promise.

Step Four: Channel Your Inner Copy-Editor, But Keep It Fun

Before you hit save, take a moment to proofread your profile. I say this as someone whose mom once corrected typos in the guest book at the family B&B. Few things are less attractive than “I’m there perfect person for you” on a dating profile. It’s small, but effort shows.

Better yet, read your bio out loud. If it doesn’t sound like something you’d naturally say, rework it. Online dating profiles are short—there’s no room for copy-pasting clichés. If I had a dollar for every “Here for a good time, not a long time” profile I’ve read, I’d be able to fund a small fleet of kayak rentals. Originality is a magnet.

The Pearl in the Tidepool

At the end of the day, crafting an extraordinary profile isn’t about adding a layer of polish until you’re unrecognizable. It’s about holding up the mirror—finding the little parts of yourself that catch the light and lean far more into who you are than who you think someone wants you to be.

A perfect match doesn’t expect perfection. They’re looking for the person who collects shells in mud-streaked rain boots or the karaoke enthusiast hitting that ambitious Stevie Nicks falsetto. So, stop waiting for lightning to strike your profile. Be the lightning. Be surprising. Be memorable.

And the next time you wade into the swiping sea, remember: you’re not competing with everyone else’s shiny bravado. You’re simply finding someone ready to see you—a little grit, a lot of heart, and all.