Desert Roses and Disco Balls: The Things I Can’t Live Without

Somewhere between the unapologetic glitter of Vegas and the quiet of its desert outskirts, you learn to be a little particular about your essentials. Call it a survival mechanism—or maybe just good taste. Whether navigating a city where yesterday’s star is tomorrow’s trivia question or figuring out why someone has “lover of sunsets and good vibes” on their dating profile, I’ve identified a handful of must-haves that keep me anchored while the world spins faster than a roulette wheel. They’re my guiding lights in the chaos and calm—a mix of practical tools, sentimental treasures, and the occasional oddball comfort item. Let’s dive in.

1. A Red Lipstick That Outlasts Happy Hour

I grew up backstage, surrounded by performers whose personalities were bolder than the sequin bodices they slipped into nightly. One lesson stuck: confidence sometimes starts with the right swipe of color. My go-to? A matte red lipstick that has the stamina to survive everything from first-date tacos to 3 a.m. karaoke sessions. Think of it as war paint for the romantically inclined.

Honestly, there’s something magical about the transformative power of lipstick. It doesn’t just complete an outfit; it can rewrite your mood. Bad date? Smudge-resistant red says, “I’m fine, really.” Running late? Red gives the illusion of effort, even if you dressed yourself with one arm in a Chipotle parking lot. Pro tip: always carry one in your bag. You never know when you’ll need to pivot from “I overslept” to “I meant to look this fabulous.”

2. The Desert at Golden Hour

When you live in Vegas, the desert becomes your quiet sanctuary. It’s the anti-Strip—a place where time slows, all Instagram filters feel redundant, and your thoughts suddenly make more sense. The golden hour, when the sunlight turns every cactus into art, is my sacred recharge time.

Finding balance in life (and love) can sometimes feel like juggling flaming torches, especially in a city that thrives on excess. The desert reminds me to pause and breathe—essential whether I’m troubleshooting a communication breakdown with my partner or dodging yet another ex spotted at my local coffee shop.

Not in Vegas? Find your metaphorical desert. Maybe it’s a quiet beach or a hidden park in your city. The important thing is that it’s a space where you get to experience your own company and reflect on what (and who) really matters.

3. My Mom’s Sewing Kit

Some people would call a sewing kit outdated—pointless in the age of Amazon replacements. But they didn’t grow up with a mother who could whip up a fully bejeweled showgirl ensemble in less time than it takes to microwave leftovers. My mom’s sewing kit isn’t just thread and fabric—it’s a reminder of resourcefulness and artistry, two qualities essential to any relationship.

How does this translate to love? Well, relationships are less about the big, flashy performances and more about the behind-the-scenes stitches holding everything together. Patience, creativity, and a bit of effort can patch up a lot of misunderstandings. Also, knowing how to sew on a lost button is sexy. Trust me.

4. Frank Sinatra on Vinyl

There’s a certain romance to Frank—a smooth-talking time capsule of charm that reminds me what wooing should feel like. Whether it’s a dramatic “My Way” moment when I need motivation to swan out of a failed situationship or a playful “The Way You Look Tonight” while slow dancing in my kitchen, Sinatra brings swoon-worthy magic to life’s playlists.

Listening to Frank reminds me to look for the poetry in people. In modern dating, where witty GIFs have replaced handwritten love letters, it’s easy to forget that romance used to have rhythm. The next time you’re tempted to settle for a date who texts “u up?” at midnight, throw on Sinatra instead and remember you deserve someone who speaks to your soul, not just your notifications tab.

5. A Sequin Jacket—Because Why Not?

Thanks to my dad’s backstage closet raids, my wardrobe boasts more sequins than the average human probably needs. One piece—the perfect gold jacket—has become my signature. It’s daring yet classic, like a metaphor for showing up authentically as yourself.

Wearing sequins is a commitment, much like being vulnerable in love. You can’t casually half-sequin your way through life fearing it might be “too much.” No, you lean in, shimmer unapologetically, and let the world (or your date) respond as they will. Spoiler: the right people will always cheer for shine.

6. A Bedside Stack of Books

I may live in the entertainment capital, but nothing steals my attention quite like a good novel. My current stack includes everything from relationship psychology deep dives to swoon-worthy rom-coms. These stories aren’t just escapes—they’re guides. Fiction teaches us empathy; essays remind us not to settle; memoirs reassure us that, no, we’re absolutely not the first people to screw things up royally.

Books feed my inner world so I can show up better in the outer one. They help me feel seen, especially when dating feels like an endless cycle of ghosting and group dinner interrogations from strangers. (And FYI, recommending books is a top-tier flirting move. Extra points if you write the reason why inside the front cover.)

7. Coffee, but Make It Specific

I wouldn’t survive Vegas—or my to-do list—without caffeine, but I’ve learned the ritual matters as much as the coffee itself. Whether it’s sipping a cortado at a local café while people-watching downtown or brewing my own espresso at home, coffee’s my anchor during chaotic mornings or post-night-out existential crises. (We’ve all stared into a cup of coffee and reevaluated life after texting the wrong thing at 1:17 a.m., right? Cool. Just me then.)

Dating advice hidden in coffee culture: take the time to savor things. The right person, like the right roast, shouldn’t feel rushed. If they don’t pair well with your mornings or make them better in some small way? Swipe left. Or leave the table.

8. A Journal You’ll Actually Use

I don’t trust anyone who says journaling is cringe. A journal doesn’t have to be manifesting-for-Instagram perfect. Mine’s half-lists, half-midnight brain spills, sometimes awkwardly punctuated with sandwich crumbs. But it works.

Writing things down keeps me honest with myself. When I feel the emotional tug-of-war that relationships sometimes bring, it’s the place where I untangle my thoughts. A two-week situationship that doesn’t deserve the mental real estate? Writing it out helps me move on. A date that actually went well? Writing reminds me what stood out (because let’s face it, after six first dates this month, I’m prone to mixing up details). Your journal’s there to cheer for your small wins or calmly absorb your rants without judgment. Everyone deserves an audience like that.

9. A Solid Pair of Boots

Vegas might suggest stilettos, but give me boots that can handle anything—desert hikes, impromptu dance floors, and “Oh-no-we’re-lost” adventures. I think of them as the unsung heroes of my wardrobe, quietly helping me strut through life’s unexpected twists, both literal and metaphorical.

Love lesson here: you want gear (and people) that go with you anywhere, through both the grit and grace. Whether that’s outlasting the strip club glitter of a bachelorette party or trekking through tough emotions post-breakup, boots—and grounded energy—are non-negotiables.

10. The Friends Who Always Call It Like It Is

As much as I cherish my alone time in the desert, I’d be nowhere without my people. The friends who send me “Are we really doing this?” texts at 2 a.m. The ones who keep me grounded when I’m tempted to overanalyze why someone used three periods in a text instead of one. (The answer? It doesn’t matter, and they’ll tell me so—with love.)

Your circle should hold you accountable in dating and life. They’ll remind you not to waste time on someone who won’t text back, they’ll hype you before a big date, and they’ll call you out when you’re being unfair—to yourself or others. If you’ve got friends who’d help you find closure or avoid repeating past mistakes, you’re already winning.

Wrapping Up: Keep Your Essentials, Find Your Joy

At the end of the day, the things I can’t live without aren’t just objects—they’re the companions, comforts, and confidences that make me, well, me. Whether it’s the pop of red lipstick, the desert at sunset, or Sinatra crooning through the speakers, these essentials serve as daily reminders that life is a mix of glitter and grit. Build your own list, edit it as you grow, and trust that what matters most will stick around.

And remember: whether it’s a pair of sequin boots or a Sinatra melody, you deserve a life—and love—that feels a little magical.