"It’s Alive!"—Or Why Tropical Fish and a Relationship Talk Don’t Mix

Ever have a moment so absurd, so completely unplanned, that it accidentally becomes a metaphor for your love life? I have. And that moment involved a questionable date spot, a tank full of glow-in-the-dark fish, and the aftermath of a miscalculated spicy tuna roll. Think: Wes Anderson meets "Shark Week," with a dash of "The Bachelorette."

Let me set the scene.

Fish Bowls and Feelings: A Match Made in Chaos

When my boyfriend at the time suggested an “interactive dining experience,” I imagined tapas with a side of live flamenco or a chef’s table situation with molecular gastronomy. What I did not expect was a hole-in-the-wall sushi bar with tables perched inside an actual aquarium. Yes, you heard that right—inside. Our table rested on a transparent platform submerged halfway in water, with a 360-degree view of tropical fish, stingrays, and what I’m pretty sure was a disgruntled eel judging me from the corner.

The setting was undeniably extra, like Miami attempting an underwater version of EPCOT. A giant fluorescent "Sushi and Love" sign glowed pink and blue in the corner, setting the tone for an evening that promised—or so I hoped—to mix romance with a unique twist.

As a Cuban girl raised in Little Havana, this wasn’t exactly my usual vibe. I grew up on family dinners that involved arroz con frijoles, my grandmother’s stories of love, heartbreak, and the occasional duel (“Men, ay mi’ja, so dramatic"). But I like to think love thrives in unexpected places, so I rolled with it.

The Talk We Were Absolutely NOT Ready For

On paper, this was supposed to be the night where my boyfriend and I got real about our relationship. You know the drill: "Are we serious, or just going with the flow?" But any chance of a deep discussion started to dissolve when our server brought out menus that also functioned as fish ID cards. (Did you know a flame angelfish costs $200? Me neither. Will this knowledge add value to my life? Probably not.)

Between giggling like teenagers over the overpriced ornamental fish and nervously making half-hearted stabs at conversation, I tried to refocus us. “So, where do you see us in, like, six months?”

That’s about when a stingray slapped its rubbery body directly against the glass next to our table, making a sound I can only describe as SpongeBob slipping on a banana peel. Not to be dramatic, but I swear the fish were judging me.

Being vulnerable while a bunch of marine bioluminescence witnesses your every word? Not the vibe. Suddenly, my question seemed heavy. My boyfriend squirmed. I poked at my sticky rice. A blowfish puffed itself up dramatically in the background, screaming same, girl.

Lessons From a Disaster Date

I wouldn't exactly call the evening a success, but it did teach me a few things I didn’t see coming:

1. Don’t Talk Commitment While Surrounded by Literal Fish Tanks
There’s a reason no rom-com ever features aquarium sushi scenes. Semi-aquatic chaos does not foster clarity. PSA: Save the hard talks for coffee shops or your own couch, not exotic dining experiences where fish are the main attraction.

2. Laughter Beats a Carefully Planned Night
Our attempt at a "serious relationship talk" turned into a comedy of errors—fish collisions, soy sauce spills, and an aggressively spicy wasabi incident (RIP to my sinuses). Sure, we didn’t walk away with answers, but laughing through the absurdity reminded me that love thrives in shared chaos.

3. The Best Dates Aren’t Always “Instagram-Worthy”
In hindsight, I wish we’d skipped the glow tank drama and just grabbed pastelitos and café con leche at the Ventanita outside my abuela’s house. Sometimes, simplicity beats over-the-top novelty. (Also: tropical fish are cute, but they’re not as endearing as someone who remembers to pack Tums for you.)

From Underwater Mess to Real Conversations

You’d probably guess that relationship didn’t last long—and you’d be right—but honestly, the whole aquarium charade gave me a good reminder about love: It’s not about staging the perfect setting or escaping into gimmicks to avoid reality. If you can’t turn down the noise of glow-in-the-dark sushi long enough to answer the big questions, maybe the relationship just isn’t one you’re ready to navigate.

However, that night did leave me with a funny story and a heightened sense of self-awareness. These days, I know better than to outsource my love life to quirky locations. Sure, novelty’s fun, but when the essence of the person sitting across from you is what really matters, the setting is just window dressing.

The Takeaway

So, what’s the lesson here, friends? Love doesn’t have to be a production. If you’re looking for clarity—or even just a fun time—skip the gimmick and focus on what really matters: connection, conversation, and the occasional pastelito shared at the right moment. Oh, and avoid interactive aquarium dining at all costs. Trust me on this one.

Or don’t. Maybe you’ll discover something magical, like the world’s most profound relationship epiphany—or, at the very least, a highly Instagrammable story about stingrays interrupting your love life. Either way, just remember: love is better when you keep it real.