Have you ever tried to explain yourself in a single sentence? It’s like being asked to sum up your entire personality between sips of coffee on a first date. “So, Trent, what do you stand for?” Uh, breakfast burritos? Campfires? The belief that 'The Goonies' is a cinematic masterpiece? Tough crowd.

But here’s the thing: what you stand for isn’t just some mental checklist or elevator pitch—it’s woven into your everyday choices, behaviors, and yes—even your relationships. Whether you’re navigating the rocky early days of dating or trying to keep the spark alive three years into a partnership, your core beliefs act like the trail signs on a hike. They guide you, keep you grounded, and point you back to what matters most when you’re dangerously close to wandering off the map.

So, as someone shaped by the crisp air of Lake Tahoe and the chaos of dodging city life, let me tell you what I stand for—and how these principles fuel my day-to-day life and writing.

1. Slow Down: Love’s Not a Triple Black Diamond

Picture this: You’re skiing down the slopes, heart pounding, hair on fire (metaphorically), and suddenly someone shouts, “There’s no prize for finishing first!” That was me, 15 years old, hurtling down Heavenly Resort only to faceplant in front of an amused bachelorette party. Spoiler alert: they didn’t ask for my number.

Relationships tend to crash just as spectacularly when we try to rush through them. We’re programmed by movie montages to believe that love should unfold overnight, but in reality, it’s more like finding a hidden lakeside trail—you’ve got to pace yourself, take in the scenery, and trust that some paths take time to reveal their beauty.

How this belief shows up in my life? I take time to really get to know people. Not in the creepy “let’s get to the bottom of your childhood trauma on date one” kind of way, but in the “let’s spend afternoons laughing at ducks on the water” way. Everyone feels pressure to seal the deal or define the relationship ASAP, but I’ve learned that slowing down—even when the world around us seems fast—leads to deeper, more meaningful connections.

Tip: Stop focusing on where things are going, and start focusing on the moment you’re in. Ask questions that go past surface-level answers—What’s something that genuinely brings them joy? Which Taylor Swift song secretly destroys them every time? (You’ll be closer in no time.)

2. Be Honest, Even If It’s Awkward

Honesty gets a bad rap in dating. To be clear, I don’t mean the brutal, “I’m just being real” kind that makes someone cry into their nachos. I mean the real-deal honesty—the kind where you say the thing that leaves you vulnerable, like, “I don’t know where this is going, but I’d like to find out with you” or “I didn’t mean to tell that story about getting a fishhook stuck in my finger on the first date, but it seemed like the right time.”

Growing up in a lodge where strangers bonded over accidentally burning their marshmallows taught me that sincerity breaks down walls faster than any pick-up line ever could. As someone who scans the world for hidden beauty, I value realness over perfection. Perfection’s a bore anyway. Show me the cracks, the quirks, the layers beneath the Instagram filter—I promise those are the most lovable parts.

Tip: Honesty doesn’t have to be perfect. It might sound messy or vulnerable at first, but it builds trust. A good rule? If it feels true but a little scary to say, it’s probably worth saying.

3. Balance Independence With Connection

Here’s a big misconception: Loving someone means erasing the edges of who you are to ‘fit’ perfectly into their life, seamlessly merging playlists, calendars, and toothpaste preferences. Call me a mountain hermit, but I’m waving a hard no at that idea.

The years I’ve spent alone in the wilderness—either physically or metaphorically after some truly awful dates—have taught me that self-reliance is a gift. No relationship, no matter how magical, can fill the gaps in your sense of self. And yet, at the same time, humans crave connection (maybe not in a nine-person lodge bunk bed, but you get the point).

Tip: Protect your independence while staying open to connection. Schedule that solo hike. Follow a passion that keeps you learning. But also make a deliberate effort to weave someone into your world—to show them the trails (literal or metaphorical) you’ve been blazing on your own. Building a fulfilling relationship isn’t about compromise; it’s about collaboration.

4. Celebrate the Little Things

One winter day, after hours of chopping firewood, my mom handed me a cup of hot cocoa with extra marshmallows—then grinned and toasted with her own mug. As snow fell quietly in the glow of our tiny window, I realized something: This moment mattered. It wasn’t about saving trees or climbing peak after peak, but about noticing the small, quiet joys that make life sing.

To me, relationships thrive on this principle: celebrating the seemingly insignificant moments. The joke that lands mid-road trip. The semi-burnt pancakes your partner makes when it’s their turn to cook breakfast. The way they hum slightly off-key every time Fleetwood Mac comes on.

People often chase grand gestures—expensive dates, declarations of love in front of their partner’s childhood dentist. But I’m here to tell you: The real magic is quieter. Pay attention to the way someone’s eyes light up when they rant about their favorite TV show. That’s where the gold is.

5. Stay Curious (Even When You Think You Know Everything)

Back in college, I thought I had dating figured out. Meet the person who checks all your boxes, fall in love, and boom—you’re done. Turns out, boxes are boring, and people are more complex than topping options at a build-your-own-smoothie bar.

In both dating and writing, curiosity refuels the journey. It’s the “What makes you tick?” question that keeps me up at night—a genuine wonder about where people come from and where they’re going. This mindset has saved me from writing off people too quickly, and it helps me stay present even when relationships—romantic or otherwise—veer off in unexpected directions.

Tip: Ask yourself, “What’s something new I can learn about this person today?” Even if you’ve been together for years, there will always be layers left to uncover. Relationships grow stale not from lack of love, but lack of curiosity.

6. Don’t Forget to Laugh

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly: life and love are ridiculous, and that’s probably for the best.

After years working in conservation and spending long nights writing about nature, I’ve taken away this key life lesson: Some things don’t make sense. You can plan your day around gentle snowfall and end up in an April blizzard wondering why you trusted the weatherman. You can go on a first date, only for them to say their favorite movie is “Sharknado 3.” (That happened to me. I didn’t make it to Sharknado 4.)

Without laughter—without leaning into the absurdity of romance—we’d all lose our minds. Whether you’re deep in existential conversations or figuring out how to split the last fry, don’t forget to find the humor. It gives perspective and makes every day, no matter how tangled up it gets, feel a little lighter.

So, what do I stand for? In relationships, much like in life, I stand for moving slowly, peeling back the layers of honesty, staying curious, finding joy in simplicity, and not taking it all so seriously. Because at the end of the day, even if your love life feels like a winding trail leading back to square one, here’s the secret: You’re not lost. You’re just discovering.

Now grab your marshmallows, folks. After all, the campfire’s always more fun when shared.