What Travel Has Taught Me About Myself

There’s this old saying, “Wherever you go, there you are.” I used to think it was the kind of quote people needlepoint onto throw pillows—quaint but not particularly illuminating. That was until I boarded a plane bound for London during my junior year of college and realized that no matter how far I went, I couldn’t run from myself. My insecurities and quirks? Packed in my carry-on. My stubborn need to plan everything? Tucked in the overhead bin. Turns out, travel isn’t just about collecting passport stamps; it’s about uncovering who you are when you’re too jet-lagged to pretend otherwise.

Here’s what a girl with a Southern drawl and a suitcase (that’s always half a pound over the weight limit, no matter how hard she tries) has learned about herself from exploring new places—and how these lessons could apply to your life and your relationships too.

1. You’re Not as Go-With-the-Flow as You Think You Are

Newsflash: I’m a bit of a control freak. I didn’t know that about myself until I got lost in the labyrinth of London’s Tube. Armed with a map (this was pre-smartphone GPS), I approached the train system with the confidence of someone who’d watched Love Actually twice and thought she understood British culture. Plot twist: I did not. I ended up miles from my destination, damp from unexpected drizzle, and fighting the urge to cry into my Tesco meal deal. It wasn’t pretty.

What I realized—once I stopped blaming the UK transportation authority and actually looked at myself—was how much I try to cling to control when I’m uncomfortable. Travel peeled that comfort right off, leaving me with an unflattering but honest question: Why was I panicking instead of adapting?

In relationships, this lesson translates to letting go of the urge to micromanage. Whether it’s accepting that your partner loads the dishwasher wrong (but hey, at least they’re loading it) or being okay with spontaneous date nights instead of planned dinners, adaptability matters. Life rarely happens on schedule, and that’s okay—even beautiful—once you lean in.

2. Food Will Teach You What Therapy Can’t

While traveling through southern Italy with two friends, I had my first taste of burrata. One bite of the creamy, dreamy cheese, and I was undone. It wasn’t just delicious—it was humbling. While I had spent weeks stressing about packing the “right” outfits for the trip or making sure our itinerary was flawless, that moment of joy came from something I couldn’t plan. You can’t spreadsheet the taste of burrata, y’all.

Similarly, travel has taught me that the way we approach food reflects the way we approach life. Are you too busy taking a photo of the plate to actually savor the experience? Are you the person googling the calorie count of pho broth before ordering? Friend, let me tell you: life (and love) is meant to be tasted, not just analyzed.

In dating, food can be such an eye-opener. Next time you’re out with someone, notice how they react to the messiness of sharing nachos or the surprise of trying a spicy dish neither of you ordered. Do they lean into the chaos or stiffen up? Their approach to food might just be their approach to connection.

3. Silence Isn’t Awkward—It’s Necessary

One of my favorite travel experiences was sitting alone on the cliffs of Santorini at sunset, watching splashes of violet melt into pink across the Aegean Sea. Despite being surrounded by couples whispering sweet nothings and Instagrammers capturing #content, I sat there without saying or doing anything. And it wasn’t lonely—it was freeing. For the first time in a long time, I let silence do the talking.

Here’s where we forget this in relationships: We think constant chatter equals connection. We treat quiet moments like voids that need to be filled. But travel reminded me that silence—a deep, comfortable kind—can actually be the sweetest proof of closeness. If you and your partner can sit on a couch together doing absolutely nothing and still feel tethered, you’re golden.

So, allow a little more quiet. You don’t have to narrate every moment of your life or fill dates with filler conversation. Sometimes, observing can tell you more than words ever could.

4. The World Isn’t Looking at You as Much as You Think

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt self-conscious walking into a busy restaurant alone. Keep your hand up if you’ve then spent half the meal scrolling your phone or pretending to read a menu with a level of intensity worthy of a scholarly thesis. (Hi, just me?)

Here’s what travel shattered for me: people really aren’t paying as much attention to you as you think. In Budapest, I spent a blissful afternoon in a café sipping coffee, writing in my notebook, and soaking up the energy of strangers around me. Not once did anyone glance at me with pity for being solo. Why? Because they were all living their own lives, fully caught up in their own scripts.

What’s the dating takeaway here? Stop overanalyzing how you look, act, or sound on a first date—or in any moment with a partner. That awkward laugh or time you tripped on the curb? The person sitting across from you is probably too busy focusing on their own inner monologue to even notice. So loosen up. Be yourself. You’re your best company, anyway.

5. The Most Beautiful Moments Are the Messiest

One spring, I drove with a friend along the Natchez Trace Parkway, a scenic road that winds through Tennessee, Mississippi, and Alabama. We had no real agenda—just snacks, playlists, and a gas tank that was, most of the time, half full. At one point, we pulled over to a wildflower field teeming with bees and bluebonnets. I ended up with burrito wrapper trash in my lap, sunburned shoulders, and a thousand tiny bug bites. But it remains one of the happiest, most unfiltered memories of my life.

If travel teaches you anything, it’s to embrace the imperfections. The rain-soaked shoes from that one hike. The time you ordered a dish in Vietnam you thought was chicken but absolutely wasn’t. The hour you spent arguing with your partner in the middle of a road trip about who forgot to bring the phone charger. None of this is wasted—it’s all story fodder, all part of what makes you, you.

Relationships thrive on this same willingness to embrace the messy. The perfect romance you imagine? It’s not as magical as the reality of two flawed people figuring things out together. Love isn’t always a curated Instagram reel; it’s spilled coffee and mismatched socks and sharing inside jokes about how bad y’all are at parallel parking.

Final Thoughts

Travel, at its core, is about transformation. Yes, it pushes you outside your comfort zone, but more importantly, it distills who you are when the creature comforts are stripped away. Are you adaptable or anxious? Do you savor the journey or just strive for the destination? These questions don’t just apply to trips—they apply to dating, love, and personal growth too.

So whether you’re boarding a plane or nervously meeting someone for a third date, remember this: It’s okay to get a little lost. It’s okay to make mistakes. You’re learning, evolving, and inching closer to the version of yourself you’re meant to be—crooked map routes, sweaty tube rides, and all.