What Travel Has Taught Me About Myself

Have you ever landed in a foreign country only to realize you have absolutely no idea how to say “thank you” in the local language? If not, let me assure you—it’s a deeply humbling experience. One that forces you to smile a lot, point at things even more, and (if you're me) learn that a misplaced nod can accidentally order you a second dinner. But here’s the funny thing about those awkward moments: they teach you more about yourself than any self-help book ever could.

Over the years, travel has become my accidental therapist, shining light on my quirks, fears, and strengths. It’s pulled me out of my comfort zone and sent me hurtling into unfamiliar situations—the kinds where you either sink or swim, or at the very least, awkwardly dog paddle. And somehow, through all this, I’ve unearthed truths about myself I didn’t even know I was looking for.

1. You’re Never Truly as Prepared as You Think—and That’s Okay

Before my first trip to New York, I admittedly thought I had everything figured out. Coming from Beijing, I felt worldly. After all, I lived in a massive city of over 20 million people. Navigating New York should be a breeze, right? Wrong. On day one, I managed to walk three blocks in the wrong direction, ordered coffee so strong it felt like I'd been punched in the face, and learned “casual small talk with strangers” wasn’t something I excelled at.

But here’s what that experience taught me: preparation will only get you so far. Whether it's travel or relationships, life loves throwing you curveballs. No travel guide could’ve prepared me for the snarky barista or the subway delays, just like no relationship blog could’ve warned me about my ex’s oddly specific fear of vintage rugs (yes, this is real). Instead of clinging to control, I’ve learned to embrace flexibility and trust that I’ll figure it out, one wrong turn at a time.

Takeaway: Perfection is a myth. Whether you're trekking across continents or navigating your love life, you don’t need to have all the answers. Show up, stay curious, and don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

2. You’re More Judgmental Than You Realize

In Shanghai, I once met someone who began every sentence with, “In my humble opinion.” I found it pretentious, even laughable—until I caught myself mocking them days later. That encounter stayed with me because, let’s face it, travel has a sneaky way of revealing your inner judge.

We all have filters shaped by culture and upbringing that influence how we see others. Growing up in Beijing, where respect for tradition runs deep, I initially found New Yorkers’ casual attitudes toward elders a touch shocking. But as I spent more time there, I started to admire their free-spirited openness—their willingness to challenge norms I once considered universal.

In romance, this same principle applies. How often do we swipe left because someone’s too short, or dismiss a date for chewing loudly? Travel taught me that my judgments often said more about me than the other person. I don’t need to like every overly-opinionated coffee enthusiast I meet—but I do need to reflect on where my biases come from.

Takeaway: Judgment is natural, but growth comes from questioning it. Ask yourself why you judge—and more importantly, whether it’s holding you back from truly meaningful experiences.

3. Authenticity Is Your Best Currency

In New York, I embraced my loud laughter—a trait that, for years, made me self-conscious back home. In rural Tibet, I dropped my need to “appear knowledgeable” and openly admitted I couldn’t handle altitude sickness. And in France, I unapologetically asked for dessert before dinner one evening (because, why not?).

Travel has taught me that playing it cool is vastly overrated. People connect with what’s real, not what’s polished. And the same rule applies to dating. I’ve pretended to like EDM for a crush (spoiler: I do not like EDM). I’ve worn ankle-breaking heels to impress someone (another spoiler: it ended in literal tears). But the relationships that mattered? Those were built when both people showed up as their unedited, slightly awkward selves.

Takeaway: The world responds best to your authentic self. Flaws and all, you’re already enough.

4. Patience—A Virtue You Don’t Know You Need Until You’re Stuck

If you’ve ever waited for hours at a delayed airport gate, you’ll know the acute frustration that comes with being powerless. It’s not just inconvenient; it’s maddening. But at the same time, it’s incredibly clarifying. Somewhere between hour two and hour seven, you realize that pacing, eye-rolling, and passive-aggressive sighs won’t fix the situation. All you can do is wait.

This was a humbling epiphany for someone like me, who thrives on efficiency. But I’ll admit it—travel made me better at patience. Not just with flight delays, but with myself and others. In love, we’re often in such a rush to define things or reach milestones: Is this going anywhere? When will they text back? Why don’t they love this rom-com as much as I do? But good relationships, like memorable travels, take time to unfold. Rushing only makes you miss the magic.

Takeaway: Sometimes life moves slower than you’d like. Trust the delay; it’s part of the journey.

5. There’s No Such Thing as “Overpacking” When It Comes to Emotional Baggage

Have I packed six outfits for an overnight trip? Maybe. Have I also clung to unresolved issues while trying to start a new relationship? Definitely. Travel and love share this universal truth: even if you deny it, what you bring with you will shape the experience.

While living in New York during a brief exchange program, I carried a lingering homesickness for Beijing—a longing I hid because I didn’t want to appear “too traditional.” But trying to suppress those feelings only made them louder. It wasn’t until I embraced my dual identity—loving Chinese poetry yet devouring western novels, craving Beijing dumplings as much as New York bagels—that I felt at peace.

Travel has a way of forcing you to confront your “baggage.” But instead of being ashamed of it, I’ve learned to unpack what’s worth keeping and leave the rest behind.

Takeaway: In every journey—whether to a faraway city or into someone’s heart—you bring your past with you. Honor it without letting it weigh you down.

6. The Best Stories Happen When You Let Go of a Plan

I used to think spontaneity was just glorified chaos. Why wander aimlessly when you can have an itinerary? And then I wandered into a tucked-away bookstore in Paris, met a group of strangers debating the works of Gabriel García Márquez, and stayed until well past midnight. That unplanned detour became one of my most cherished memories.

Similarly, in relationships, I’ve learned to resist planning every move or trying to predict every outcome. My best connections have flourished, not because I followed a script, but because I let the unexpected unfold. Sometimes, it’s better to stumble into something magical than force something that feels “safe.”

Takeaway: Plans are great, but serendipity? Priceless. Life often gives you what you didn’t know you needed.

The Bottom Line: Travel Is the Best Mirror

At its core, travel isn’t about far-flung destinations or passport stamps—it’s about self-discovery. Every new city, every foreign food, every language barrier has held up a mirror and asked me, “Do you like the person you see?” Sometimes the answer is “yes,” sometimes it’s “not yet,” but the question itself is the gift.

Whether you’re boarding a plane or starting a new relationship, approach it all with curiosity. Because if my overpacked bags and mispronounced French have taught me anything, it’s this: the journey will always change you.