What Travel Has Taught Me About Myself
The Passport-To-Self-Discovery Myth
If you’ve ever scrolled through Instagram and thought, “Maybe I’ll find myself if I just book a flight to Santorini,” let me first preface this by saying: that’s not entirely wrong. But, speaking from experience, the phrase “travel is transformational” tends to leave out the part where you’re ugly crying in an airport bathroom because of a delayed flight, eating questionable gas station snacks in a foreign country, or fumbling with street signs in a language you swore you’d practice on Duolingo. (Spoiler alert: I did not practice.) Travel is as much about the setbacks and surprises as it is about the sweeping views and glowing selfies.
What I’ve learned, however, is that those offbeat moments—the missteps, the mishaps, the complete derailments—are often where the real lessons show up. Every destination has taught me something different: most lessons humbling, some downright funny, and almost all applicable to how I move through life and relationships.
So grab your metaphorical passport and let me walk you through a few examples.
1. Packing Light (Literally and Emotionally)
Before a weeklong trip to New York City, I famously decided to pack three pairs of boots into one suitcase. Because clearly, someone in SoHo might judge me if I didn’t bring my “edgy” combat boots and my “chic but understated” heeled ones. Have you ever tried hauling an overstuffed suitcase up a five-story walk-up? Ten minutes into sweating up those stairs, I was reevaluating all my priorities—not just in footwear but in life.
Travel will teach you quickly that baggage, in any form, weighs you down. And that applies directly to relationships. Emotional baggage, unresolved grudges, or comparing your current partner to an ex? It’s like hauling 50 pounds of boots when flip-flops would’ve sufficed. Instead of weighing yourself down with “what-ifs” or “should-haves,” sometimes you’ve got to leave the unnecessary behind and make room for where you’re headed—emotionally or otherwise.
2. Getting Lost Can Be the Plan
I remember walking through Charleston one summer evening, absolutely confident I knew where I was going. Spoiler: I was wrong. I ended up nowhere near my planned spot, but instead found myself on a quiet cobblestone street framed by pink houses and sweet-smelling jasmine. Honestly? It was better than my original destination.
In dating and relationships, I’ve learned that you can’t always plan everything. Maybe you’re dead-set on finding “The One,” and along the way you discover that you’re actually not ready for a relationship at all—but you’re ready to learn how to be alone without feeling lonely. Or maybe the person you thought was “just a summer fling” ends up being someone who challenges you in the best way possible. Sometimes, getting lost leads you exactly where you need to go. Who knew a wrong turn in Charleston could double as life advice?
3. The Fine Art of Improvisation
I once found myself in Paris, absolutely starving and unable to find the charming café I’d pinned on Google Maps. Instead, I stumbled into a hole-in-the-wall bakery where the cashier spoke no English, and my French was limited to “bonjour” and merci. I pointed at a croissant, mimed drinking coffee, and smiled my way through what can only be described as the most awkward international charades game in history.
The croissant? Life-changing. The lesson? Even life’s clunky, unscripted moments can turn out pretty great.
Relationships work the same way. Things don’t always go according to plan, and sometimes you’ve got to ditch the script you had in your head. Got caught in an embarrassing moment after spilling spaghetti on your date? Laugh with them instead of apologizing endlessly. Tried a cheesy pick-up line that fell flat? Pivot. Life (and love) doesn’t require perfection—it just requires that you show up and make the best of what you’ve got, even if what you’ve got is “bonjour” and a smile.
4. Perspective Changes Everything
During a summer trip to a tiny beach town with a slower pace than a turtle on vacation, I remember feeling oddly stuck. Where were the late-night clubs? The bustling boardwalk? The things I was used to back home in Myrtle Beach?
But as the days passed, slowed by long walks on quiet shores and evenings spent chatting with locals, I realized that stillness can be its own kind of excitement. I saw beauty in a routine I initially dismissed as “boring.” That trip taught me to shift my perspective and find joy in places I least expected it—because a sunset over calm waters is still breathtaking, no matter how many Instagram likes it earns.
When it comes to relationships, this lesson hits hard. Are you focusing on your partner’s flaws instead of the kindness they bring into your life? Are you overlooking a slow-burn relationship because it’s not fireworks every second? Shifting your perspective can make even the quietest moments feel significant.
5. Sometimes, You’ve Just Got to Leap
While interning in New York City, I was invited to an open mic event by someone I barely knew. Crowds and public speaking freak me out, but something told me to go. That night, I met incredible artists, random strangers who are now good friends, and—briefly—a guy who looked like a young John Mayer (yes, it was as dramatic and fleeting as it sounds).
That leap out of my comfort zone wasn’t just a fun night—it reminded me that the best experiences often come when you ignore the voice in your head saying, “Play it safe.”
Dating someone new feels like that, too: a mix of nerves, excitement, and wondering if you’re about to make the best or worst decision of your life. But if you never go, you’ll never know. Travel taught me that fear isn’t always a bad thing—it just means you’re standing on the edge of something big.
Practical Packing List for Your Emotional Journey
Travel taught me about myself in the most unexpected ways. Here’s what I packed for those lessons (and should probably keep unpacking in the relationships department, too):
- Flexibility: Plans will falter; how you respond makes the difference.
- Curiosity: Explore without assumptions—whether it’s a place or a person.
- Self-Awareness: Know when to let go of baggage, both literal and emotional.
- Grace: Laugh at the unpredictable and see mistakes as opportunities for growth.
- Trust: Leap when it feels right, even if you’re scared.
The Destination Isn’t Everything
If there’s one thing pulling me back to the Grand Strand every time, it’s the reminder that you don’t “find” yourself when you travel—you uncover pieces of yourself you never noticed before. Does that happen while staring at breathtaking landscapes? Sure. But it also happens when you’re sweating through airport security with one shoe on, or meeting strangers who think your Southern accent is “adorable.”
Traveling taught me to embrace who I am, quirks and all, and to chase life (and connection) with open eyes and an open heart. Wherever you’re heading next—whether it’s a new city or a first date—just remember: the journey will teach you as much as the destination ever could.
