What Travel Has Taught Me About Myself
It’s Not About the Destination (Unless the Destination Has Free Wi-Fi)
Let me set the scene: I’m standing in the middle of Charles de Gaulle Airport, dehydrated, sleep-deprived, and wildly attempting to explain the concept of almond milk to a French barista. (Spoiler alert: it didn’t go well.) Somewhere between my body language charades for "lactose intolerant" and the wave of embarrassment washing over me as a Parisian grandmother shot me the most judgmental side-eye in history, I had an epiphany: Travel is basically life on steroids. Every little quirk, insecurity, and triumph of your personality gets magnified. And if you’re paying attention, you can learn so much about yourself.
I used to think traveling was about ticking destinations off a bucket list and snagging cute Instagram photos (guilty). But over time, I realized it’s less about the Eiffel Towers and sandy beaches and more about the human moments in between. Along the way, I’ve learned a few things about who I really am—and believe me, some of it was news to me.
Here are the highlights:
1. I’m Clingier Than My Carry-On Bag
Here’s the thing: I’m a stage-five overthinker when it comes to relationships, but I didn’t fully grasp how much until I was stranded on a literal island (thanks, ferry delay), panicking about whether my trip partner still liked me after I refused to eat mystery shellfish the night before. (For the record, he was busy napping and had no recollection of this alleged "fight.")
Travel showed me how much of my self-esteem was tangled up in how other people perceived me. Did I mention that watching couples fight in public squares in Rome taught me more about relationships than any rom-com ever could? Like that one couple shouting outside the Colosseum? Iconic. She was waving her map like a battle flag, he looked like he’d rather be anywhere else, and I swear to you, they weren’t arguing about the landmarks—they were arguing about feeling misunderstood. That, my friends, is the secret sauce of human connection: the need to feel seen, heard, and validated.
Lesson learned: When you’re far from home and out of your comfort zone, your insecurities might flare—and that’s okay. The trick is to notice them and not let them hijack your experience. And also, no mystery shellfish.
2. My Relationship With Control Is...Complicated
Raise your hand if you, too, have cried because a lack of direct flights ruined your meticulously planned itinerary. (No? Just me?) Turns out, I’m happiest in situations where I’m holding all the maps, setting all the alarms, and generally running the show.
But travel has a funny way of reminding you that control is an illusion. Lost luggage? Late trains? The Airbnb has "quirky charm" that translates to no running water? All my worse-case-scenario moments have happened while traveling. And yet somehow, I survived. Like the time I ended up on the wrong subway train in Tokyo and wound up in the suburbs trying to order breakfast by pointing at pictures of food like a contestant on an improv game show. Honestly? Some of the best pancakes I’ve ever had.
Lesson learned: Letting go doesn’t mean giving up; sometimes it means opening yourself up to experiences you couldn’t have planned if you tried. And yes, you’re allowed to laugh-cry about it later.
3. Solo Travel Is a Crash Course in Dating Yourself
Listen, I’m not saying I became Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love after a solo trip to Italy, but I did eat an entire Margherita pizza alone in Naples, which I think counts. Here’s the thing about traveling by yourself: It’s basically a mirror reflecting all your quirks, preferences, and little internal monologues.
There’s no one to debate itineraries with (yes, you can skip the museum and nap instead), nobody to judge how often you snack (hourly is fine, right?), and nobody to deflect the awkwardness of being the only table for one. It’s terrifying at first but also incredibly liberating.
I realized I was more resourceful than I thought, whether it meant deciphering bus schedules in languages I didn’t speak (thank you, Google Translate) or making friends with fellow solo travelers by bonding over our mutual fear of pickpockets. And I got very comfortable with my own company in ways I’d never imagined. Turns out, I like me! Who knew?
Lesson learned: If you can spend a weekend exploring a foreign city with just yourself for company...you’re ready for anything, including tricky relationships and uncertain life changes.
4. Vulnerability Is the Passport to Connection
Pro tip: Finding yourself sitting next to a stranger on an overnight train with spotty A/C is prime bonding territory. I’ve had heart-to-hearts with strangers all over the world—like the British couple in Prague who gave me career advice (and the name of their favorite pub), or the Moroccan shop owner who shared wisdom about love in fewer words than I’ve used in a Bumble bio.
In these moments, I realized how much of a connection is rooted in vulnerability. You’re far from home, out of your routine, and maybe even a little nervous—not exactly prime conditions for being your polished, Instagram-filtered self. But that’s the beauty of it: Showing up as you are, imperfections and all, is what opens the door to real conversations.
Lesson learned: Vulnerability can be scary, but it’s also where the magic happens—whether that’s abroad or in your relationships back home.
5. Home Is Somewhere Inside You
This one took me a while to figure out because Beverly Hills gave me kind of a weird relationship with the concept of "home." Growing up, home was Friday night Shabbat dinners, extravagant holiday parties, and everyone somehow managing to fit their egos and their egos’ stylists into the same room. Needless to say, my idea of belonging was...a little bougie and a little performative.
But being away taught me that home isn’t a zip code or a perfectly curated event; it’s a feeling you carry with you. For me, that’s a sense of community (even if it’s just sharing leftover snacks with a random hostel roommate), small traditions (lighting a travel-sized candle for Shabbat in a Japanese hotel room was a game-changer), and trusting myself to show up authentically—no glam squad required.
Lesson learned: You don’t need a fancy backdrop to feel "at home." Sometimes it’s as simple as wearing your favorite hoodie while watching a new city wake up.
The Takeaway
Travel isn’t a cure-all for your existential angst, and it won’t automatically turn you into a self-actualized guru. But it will teach you a thing or two about who you are, what you need, and how you move through the world (even when your suitcase wheels are janky). It’s like dating—it forces you to get real, be vulnerable, and adapt to whatever life throws at you. Plus, it’s a lot more fun when you lean into the messiness.
So the next time your travel plans go haywire or you find yourself crying over a croissant that collapsed in your bag (again, just me?), take a breath. Somewhere in the chaos is a lesson waiting to happen. Just make sure to pack snacks. Always pack snacks.
