Here’s a hard truth I wish I’d figured out earlier: love isn’t a Hallmark movie, no matter how much snow falls or how many adorable misunderstandings involve a lost puppy and a small-town bake-off. For most of us, love—and everything leading up to it—is a tangled, awkward mess. It’s as much about learning from stumbles as it is about the rare moments when things actually go the way you imagined.

My journey has been influenced by Wyoming dirt and campfire nights, and while the lessons I’ve picked up might not involve red-carpet romance or grand city gestures, they’re solid as bedrock. If you’re as human as I am, you’ll see yourself in these truths and maybe walk away with a little extra wisdom for the trail.

1. Trust Takes Time to Earn—But Seconds to Break

During one snowed-in winter, I dated someone who once admitted, mid-coffee, that they'd "kind of forgotten" to delete their dating profile. It was a casual revelation, tossed out like "Can you pass the cream?" The trust we'd been slowly collecting like firewood splintered then and there. The thing is, trust isn’t like a fence you build once and forget about. It’s more like the fire—steady tending required, or it flickers and goes cold.

What I wish I’d known sooner? Trust is built not on promises, but patterns. Saying "I'm dependable" doesn’t mean squat without action to back it up. Relationships thrive when you show up consistently—for the big moments, sure, but also for the small ones. So, watch what people do, not just what they say. That’s the gold standard.

2. You Can’t Be Everything to Everyone—and You Shouldn’t Try

Take it from a guy who once led city-slicker tourists into the Tetons for sunrise rides: you’ll never please everyone. There’s always someone unhappy about trail dust on their boots or the occasional (incredibly majestic) moose sighting. If you play the chameleon in dating—changing yourself based on what you think someone else wants—you’ll burn out faster than a match in the wind.

The real magic happens when you're gutsy enough to say, “This is who I am.” The quirks, the passions, the parts that make you tick—even if they’re messy. For me, that meant admitting I care more about a good leather-bound notebook than the latest iPhone and that I’d spend 9 out of 10 date nights under the stars instead of in a noisy cocktail bar. The right people will meet you where you are. The wrong ones will move along—and that’s okay.

3. Compatibility Is More Than Common Interests

In my early twenties, I thought compatibility meant we liked the same music or could agree on a good burger joint. Turns out, shared hobbies are nice, but they’re just garnish—not the meal. What really matters is how you approach life together. Are your values in sync? Your communication styles? Can they handle your bad days (and vice versa) without running for the hills?

A flashback that drives this point home: A few years back, I dated someone who loved the outdoors as much as I did. On paper, we were perfect—mountain hikes, wildlife photography, backcountry camping trips. But when a mechanical issue left us stranded in bear country, their ability to cope crumbled while I was figuring out how to roll up my sleeves. We weren’t just mismatched in emergencies—we had different ways of tackling life’s curveballs.

Lesson learned? A shared playlist is a bonus, but shareable goals, patience, and resilience are dealmakers.

4. Communication: The Quiet Hero

I once joked with a buddy that relationships are like herding cattle—they don’t move smoothly unless everyone knows what direction to take. Turns out, there’s solid analogical wisdom here. Clear communication is what keeps things from wandering off-course. But communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about learning how to listen, too.

One thing I completely misunderstood when I was younger: silence isn’t always a red flag. Sometimes, someone just needs space to think or decompress. Communicating is as much about holding your tongue at the right time as it is about figuring out how to express what you feel. So if you're feeling slighted, pause. Is it them shutting down, or is it just your mind overanalyzing cowboy-style? Either way, ask. It’s better than stewing in assumptions.

5. Laughter Really Is a Love Language

I’m convinced the reason I got through some miserable treks in unpredictable Wyoming weather is because I learned early to laugh about soaking wet boots. Joy shared is a bond multiplied, and nowhere is that truer than in relationships.

My first-ever breakup taught me this. The relationship did an epic belly flop post-holiday season, and one of the first things I realized I missed was the way we laughed together. Not the serious debates or meaningful talks—although those were great—but the ridiculous Snapchat filters and the inside jokes whispered over terrible diner food. It hit me that laughter doesn’t fix everything, but it sure makes navigating the rough patches feel less lonely.

When in doubt, find someone who’ll laugh with you. It’s a two-for-one deal—you’re getting a coping strategy and a partner in crime.

6. Always Circle Back to Yourself

Breakups, new relationships, dating dry spells—they all have a funny way of making you wonder, “Am I doing something wrong?” In my early twenties, I’d tie myself in mental knots trying to make someone like me or questioning my worth after they didn’t. It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out that it’s okay to hit pause and redirect energy inward.

Here’s the kicker: the most rewarding relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself. You can’t give your best to someone else when you’re running on emotional fumes. For me, solo hikes have always been the perfect reset button, a way to reconnect to my sense of self when things felt messy. Find your version of that and guard it fiercely.

7. There’s No Such Thing as “Perfect Timing”

If I could go back and tell my younger self, “Hey Jax, stop waiting for the stars to form a flawless constellation before making your move,” I would. Love doesn’t RSVP based on your ideal timeline. You don’t meet someone amazing only when your career's thriving, your gym routine’s flawless, or you’ve ironed out every last wrinkle of your insecurities. Sometimes, love pulls up in the middle of life’s chaos.

One of my most meaningful relationships started because I accidentally spilled coffee on a stranger at a farmer’s market while juggling too many heirloom tomatoes. It wasn’t smooth—it was mortifying—but it was real. Love isn’t about lining things up perfectly; it’s about showing up, even when you don’t feel fully ready.

Closing Thoughts: Lead with Courage, Learn with Grace

Here’s the truth: love, and the pursuit of it, will test you like a Wyoming winter. It can feel unfair, unpredictable, and brutally raw. But it can also surprise you with breathtaking beauty—when you’re willing to take the risk of stepping out into the unknown, knowing it’s okay to stumble.

If I’ve learned one thing, it’s this: don’t be afraid to muck it up. Mistakes don’t mean failure; they just mean you’re practicing. And with practice comes progress. You’re allowed to change your game plan, but never lose sight of your compass. Trust me—the trail is worth it.