Obsessed: My Love Affair with Stationery (And What It Taught Me About Relationships)

The Battle of the Pens: A Lifelong Obsession

You always remember your first. Mine was a lavender gel pen with metallic ink. I was eight years old and convinced it held magical powers because it made my spelling tests look beautiful—never mind that I still managed to misspell “necessary” four weeks in a row. From there, my obsession grew: highlighters fat as baby carrots, journals bound in buttery leather, and the pièce de résistance, a Montblanc fountain pen my dad gifted me after my high school graduation. A true “grown-up” pen, he called it. I felt invincible.

Fast forward to adulthood, and my love of stationery hasn’t abated one bit. If anything, it’s evolved into a full-blown romance—with all the drama, heartbreak, and commitment you’d expect from a great love story. Somewhere along the way, I realized my long-standing affair with paper goods was more than just cute quirkiness. It was a metaphor for relationships: delighting in the details, valuing permanence, and, yes, occasionally wrestling with smudges. “What does that have to do with dating?” you ask. Well, quite a bit, actually.

The Art of Pursuit: Finding What Truly Fits

There’s a big difference between a notebook you casually jot phone numbers in and one you trust with your deepest thoughts—just like there’s a difference between someone you’re mildly interested in and someone who makes your heart do that embarrassing fluttery thing. Case in point: A few years ago, I walked into a stationery boutique in downtown Dallas with the sole intent of buying a planner. Five hours, seven swatches of paper, and one mini existential crisis later, I emerged victorious with a hand-stitched journal that cost more than my monthly yoga membership. Why? Because it was the one.

Relationships work the same way. Finding the right person takes an intentional approach and a lot of trial and error. You might spend months investing time in planners (or, uh, people) who look great on the outside but fall apart under pressure. Sometimes, even after hours of deliberation, you choose something—or someone—that seemed perfect but turns out to lack substance. And that’s okay! The process of pursuit is where you figure out what truly fits.

Commitment Means Caring for the Small Things (Yes, Even Smudges)

Here’s a little-known fact about fountain pens: they require maintenance. You can’t just toss one in a drawer and expect it to still perform beautifully weeks later. No, these high-maintenance beauties need special ink, delicate cleaning, and, occasionally, a serious conversation about why they keep leaking despite your best efforts.

A relationship asks for the same care—it requires attention to the little things. If you ignore the “smudges,” like unresolved conflicts or unmet expectations, they can eventually spread to something that stains the whole connection. The lesson? Stay present, communicate, and don’t be afraid of a little mess now and again. Sometimes the “leaks” are where you both grow.

Variety Keeps It Interesting—But Commitment Strengthens It

My stationery collection is nothing short of sprawling: minimalist Japanese pens, brash neon sticky notes, journals in every conceivable shade of blue. Some days I like keeping everything crisp and professional (hello, black Moleskine), and other days I’m doodling in a spiral-bound notebook that sports a picture of a cartoon octopus. And yet, no matter how many new notebooks catch my eye, it’s my trusty Montblanc I return to time and again.

Variety keeps things spicy, but commitment gives them meaning. Relationships thrive when you want the best for each other, even on the boring days when passion takes a backseat to loyalty. Like my Montblanc, a strong relationship becomes a safe space—something reliable amidst the chaos of bright new distractions.

Stop Chasing Perfect—Embrace the Quirks

I’ll never forget the time someone at a writing conference handed me a $400 Italian ballpoint pen. Beautifully crafted, yes. But writer friends, let me tell you: it skipped like a clumsy bridesmaid at a wedding rehearsal. All glamour, no practicality. Still, the memory of that pen sticks with me—not because it was perfect, but because it taught me to lean into imperfection.

The same can be said for love. Relationships aren’t perfect, and neither are the people in them. What makes love worthwhile isn’t precision or flawlessness; it’s the way you love the quirks that make someone unique. Maybe it’s how they can never fold a fitted sheet properly (a relatable struggle) or how they mispronounce “jalapeño” like it’s an Olympic event.

In a world of filtered Instagram posts, leaning into imperfection can feel downright revolutionary. But trust me: a partner who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts beats out a “perfect catch” every time.

Lessons from a Pen Obsessed Life

If you’re still wondering how a glorified office supply binge became a metaphor for human connection, I’ll leave you with a few easy takeaways:

  • Be picky, but not paralyzed. Whether you’re shopping for love or stationery, knowing what you want is important—but so is knowing when to commit.
  • Treat problems like smudges, not deal-breakers. Most mistakes can be resolved with care (or, in the case of ink stains, a highly niche cleaning kit I’m happy to recommend).
  • Keep a sense of humor. If you’ve ever accidentally bought glitter gel pens when you needed rollerballs, you know life’s little mishaps can lead to unexpected joys.

Wrapping It Up, One Page at a Time

To this day, cracking open a new journal feels like the promise of a fresh start—the subtle joy of endless possibility. Relationships, too, hold that promise. Whether you’re carefully picking out your first “notebook” or inking your hundredth page together, savor the little quirks that make the story yours.

After all, life—and love—is best written by hand.