The Joy of Being Curious

Have you ever wondered how much life you might be missing out on by staying in your comfort zone? Growing up balancing two cultures, I quickly learned that curiosity wasn’t just a tool—it was a survival skill. In a household where zucchini stuffed with rice and spices simmered on the stove while my classmates in Paris invited me over for their mom’s quiche Lorraine, I realized early on that curiosity opened doors that didn’t even look like doors at first. And much like in dating and relationships, it’s often curiosity—the willingness to ask, “What if?”—that brings us adventure, connection, and the serendipitous joy of landing somewhere surprising.

Curiosity: Your Underrated Wingman

Curiosity is that underrated friend who convinces you to RSVP to the weird art exhibit you were about to ignore or try the dish on the menu you can’t pronounce. It’s the spark that turns “meh” into “maybe” and sends you down paths you didn’t even know existed. In relationships, curiosity works the same magical way. It nudges you to ask thoughtful follow-up questions, to stay five minutes longer on the phone when you’re already yawning, to investigate the unspoken layer of someone’s “bad day” grumble.

When I first moved to London, I was reeling from heartbreak and wrestling with a lingering sense of homesickness. A friend dragged me to what, at first glance, appeared to be a dreadfully pretentious gathering—an oud performance fused with experimental electronic beats (you can imagine my skepticism). But curiosity whispered, “Stay,” and by the end of the night, I found myself chatting with a music producer who shared my love for Umm Kulthum and Edith Piaf. That exchange turned into a deep friendship and taught me something invaluable: curiosity isn’t just about asking questions—it’s about staying present in unfamiliar moments long enough to let them reveal their gifts.

Why We Lose Our Sense of Wonder

So, if curiosity is such a superpower, why do we so often lose touch with it, especially in relationships? The easy culprit is routine. Familiarity is the gift of long-term love, but it also seduces us into autopilot. Have you ever caught yourself nodding along to your partner’s story, secretly scrolling through your mental to-do list because you’ve “heard this one before”? That’s the exact moment curiosity begs to be rekindled.

But there’s another, subtler thief of curiosity: fear. We hesitate to ask the meaningful (and sometimes uncomfortable) questions because they expose us to vulnerability. “Why do you seem distant?” or “What do you dream about lately?” are invitations to intimacy—not interrogations—but they can feel terrifying to voice. The irony, though, is that curiosity is the antidote to stagnation. Left unchecked, we risk turning relationships into beige wallpaper: perfectly acceptable but painfully dull. Curiosity repaints the walls with vibrant hues—it’s the bravery to demand color where you thought there was none.

How to Rekindle Your Inner Explorer

Alright, so you’re convinced. Curiosity is the secret sauce. Now let’s talk about how to actually embrace it in your daily life, particularly in relationships. Here’s how you can channel your inner explorer:

  1. Ask Better Questions Instead of the default “How was your day?”, try sprucing it up: “What was the most unexpected thing that happened to you today?” or “If today was a song, which one would it be?” Not only do these open up creative answers, but they also show that you value deep conversation.

  2. Dare to Share Curiosity isn’t a one-way street. Don’t just ask what’s on their mind—offer up the same honesty. “I’ve been thinking about how my childhood shaped the way I relate to people—ever thought about that with your upbringing?” It’s a bit vulnerable, sure, but it opens up a world of conversation most “Netflix or Disney+ tonight?” exchanges never touch.

  3. Shake Up the Routine Familiarity breeds comfort, but it also breeds monotony. Switch up your shared rituals: instead of the same dinner spot, try something wildly different—a Georgian restaurant, a dimly lit ramen bar, or a café where you can people-watch together. Bonus points if it’s cuisine neither of you has tried before!

  4. Lean Into the Awkward Curiosity can sometimes feel a little uncomfortable—it requires putting yourself (and possibly your pride) on the line. A few years ago, I attended a partner’s family gathering and, despite feeling like a fish out of water, decided to ask his intimidating aunt about the Turkish embroidery on the cushions in her living room. Not only did I survive, but the story she shared (it involved a forbidden romance, no less!) became a conversation the entire family rallied around for the rest of the evening.

  5. Look for Layers Behind every opinion or habit is a lived experience. If your partner seems unusually passionate about organizing their sock drawer, resist the urge to roll your eyes. Ask: Where did that discipline come from? You might learn that they grew up in a family where chaos reigned, and organizing socks is their form of control. Curiosity unpacks more than you expect.

My Most Unexpected Curveball

Here’s a personal story about curiosity taking me places I didn’t plan—literally. Picture this: I’m in Alexandria, visiting family, emotionally weathered from some London drama I won’t bore you with. One day, a cousin dares me to take a public lecture on modern Sufism that’s happening across the city. Admittedly, it sounded duller than spending three hours staring at Cairo traffic, but I was so weary of my own sulking that I agreed to go. And wouldn’t you know it? I met someone there—an earnest, soft-spoken journalist—whose insight about the poetry of Rumi sparked what became a month-long whirlwind romance.

Spoiler alert: it didn't last. But you know what did? Learning that, sometimes, saying “yes” when you least feel like it is the most important skill curiosity teaches you.

Love Without Curiosity is Just Coasting

If there’s anything my zigzagging life across continents has taught me, it’s that curiosity is fuel for human connection—romantic or otherwise. When we stop learning about our partners or the people closest to us, the relationship transforms into something transactional. Curiosity is the antidote to that. It says, “I see you, but I also want to see more of you.”

Whether it’s love or personal growth you’re pursing, leaning into curiosity reminds us that every interaction holds layers waiting to be uncovered. Who knows? The next time you ask a stranger about their reading habits or stay five minutes longer at an awkward networking event, you could stumble onto something—or someone—that changes your life. Curiosity doesn’t promise neat storylines or guaranteed successes. What it does promise, though, is this: you’ll never run out of surprises. And if there’s one thing every great relationship needs, it’s exactly that.