The Things I Can’t Live Without

Introduction: The Essentials That Define Us
As someone who once panicked over forgetting her favorite lip gloss at a Savannah wedding, I’ve come to realize that the things we can’t live without say a lot about who we are. Essentials—whether they sit on your nightstand or live rent-free in your emotional pocket—are more than objects or ideas; they’re anchors in the chaos. Some make life easier, others make it sweeter, and a few? They’re just pure indulgence.

So, buckle up as I bare all and share the small-but-mighty essentials that keep this Southern gal grounded, polished, and occasionally sane.

1. The Perfect Shade of Red Lipstick (Confidence in a Tube)
Finding the right red lipstick is like dating: you’ll try a few that disappoint your mother, a couple that outright clash with your complexion, but when it’s the one, you’ll know. Mine is a shade somewhere between cherry and scarlet—a subtle nod to old-school glamour with just enough edge to intimidate anyone debating sexist remarks. I swipe it on before dates, job interviews, and even brunches because we all know scrambled eggs taste better when they’re ordered with confidence.

But here’s my secret: lipstick isn’t just about appearance; it’s a mindset. There’s something transformative about pulling out that sleek tube, swiping it on like a modern Scarlett O’Hara, and walking out the door feeling invincible. Slaying dragons, sealing deals, or just smirking through a bad date—it all starts with the right red.

2. Coffee—and the Mornings It Saves
Not to be dramatic, but coffee is the friend who never bails on me. In a world where second dates can ghost and RSVP responses are “meh” at best, one sip of my carefully brewed java reminds me some things in life are solid. My parents instilled in me a love of mornings, despite their busy, dual-income schedules—coffee always greeted me like the unofficial third parent in our household.

These days, making my perfect French press is part of my sacred routine. I grind the beans fresh, add a dash of cinnamon, and sip slowly while tackling emails or journal entries. Is coffee magical? No, it can’t conjure a text back from an ex (and maybe that’s for the best). But it does whisper, “You’ve got this,” one warm sip at a time.

3. Monogrammed Stationery (The Romance of the Written Word)
I am genetically incapable of ignoring anything with my initials on it, and yes, monogrammed stationery is my love language. Call it a Southern thing, call it my inner Edith Wharton fangirl, but there’s something intoxicatingly personal about tangible, written words. I grew up writing thank-you notes after every birthday, speech team win, or bake sale flop, and that habit stuck with me.

Sliding a handwritten note into a mailbox—especially in an era of text shorthand and passive-aggressive “likes”—is romance in its purest form. Needless to say, if you receive a letter from me, I probably really adore (or really need) you.

4. Sunday High Tea (Because “Self-Care” Deserves This Level of Fancy)
Each Sunday at 4 PM sharp, I indulge in high tea. No, I’m not hosting lavish Dowager Countess-level gatherings, but I do get out my vintage teacups, layer on the cucumber sandwiches, and even slice up something sweet if I’m feeling frisky. The world is overwhelming enough without an intentional break for yourself and a steaming Earl Grey.

I adopted this habit after my year abroad in London. What started as a cute cultural bucket-list item turned into a non-negotiable ritual. And honestly? It’s become therapy in porcelain form. Whether or not you like tea, give yourself permission to create a rhythm like this—and embrace the simplicity of shutting out the noise.

5. The Group Text That Feels Like a ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ Sign Come to Life
Do you know what gets me through heartbreaks, existential meltdowns, and figuring out what to wear to an ambiguous “business-casual but fun” date? My group text of ride-or-die friends. We lovingly call ourselves “The Vault” because, well, no secret gets out alive.

Our conversations swing from sharing Spotify playlists that scream, “I’m over him and thriving” to debating whether it’s socially acceptable to leave a brunch date before the check arrives. But those tiny pings of inside jokes and screenshot analyses remind me that I’m never truly alone, no matter what crossroads I’m at.

Pro Tip: Every grown adult should curate their version of a digital padded room. Whether it’s stealing memes, finding out who actually liked your holiday party photos, or brainstorming birthday gifts for your impossible-to-buy-for cousin, you deserve a safe space of snark and love.

6. A Go-To Crockpot Recipe (Because Hangry Isn’t Cute)
Few things scream “relationship-ready” like knowing your way around a slow cooker. My fall-back recipe is a no-fail chicken tortilla soup—a dish so beloved it’s practically an engagement ring waiting to happen. I can whip it up on a chill Friday when I want to Netflix solo and also serve it during a low-stakes dinner for two, complete with a little cilantro garnish to make it seem like I’m trying harder than I am.

Having an easy bulletproof dish in your lineup is a game-changer. It’s not just about eating well—it’s about having control when everything else feels unsteady. Plus, when my fridge is stocked with leftovers, it means I’m less tempted to send a manic “U up?” text at 11 PM.

7. A Love for the Little Things
Okay, here’s the thing: most of what you can’t live without is intangible. Whenever life gets chaotic, I find myself re-centering through the little stuff. The crackle of a new book as I open its spine. Walking through Savannah’s historic streets, feeling the ghosts of another era swirl around me. The sharp tang of lemon in a well-balanced cocktail.

Learning to savor the small moments matters, and it slowly becomes your secret superpower in dating, friendships, or just surviving a Thursday afternoon slump. Folks, there’s magic in the mundane—if you’re willing to find it.

Conclusion: Your Essentials, Your Story
Here’s the beauty of essentials: they’re personal. Red lipstick might give me confidence, but for you, maybe it’s your lucky socks or a playlist full of Beyoncé anthems. These things don’t just get us through the tough moments; they remind us of who we are and who we want to become.

So, take stock of your life. Marie Kondo proudly on what doesn’t spark joy, double down on what does, and never underestimate how profoundly the little things can shape the big picture. Who knows? Something small on your essentials list today might just write the blueprint of your best self tomorrow.

And if nothing else, go buy that lipstick. The date, the deal, or the dream life—sometimes, it’s just one bold swipe away.