One summer in Charleston, I found myself hopelessly lost. Not the romantic kind of lost, wandering cobblestone streets with a charming stranger and a cone of praline ice cream, no—this was the sweaty, disoriented, “Why do all these streets look the same?” kind of lost. My phone’s GPS had abandoned me, as if mocking my big-city confidence in a small Southern town, and I ended up somewhere on a street I didn’t recognize. Somewhere, I swear, the spirits of my Southern Gothic idols were laughing.

It was a disheartening moment for a then-21-year-old intern who thought she had everything—the map, the plan, the future—sorted out. But that day isn’t just a funny story I retell at dinner parties; it’s one of those perfect, uncomfortable metaphors for how I approach life and relationships. Travel has taught me—through crooked streets and flight delays and yes, some tragically awful date nights—that there’s beauty in getting a little lost. And that self-discovery doesn’t come with a GPS.

Let’s sift through a few of the lessons I’ve picked up along (and sometimes off) the beaten path.

1. Every Journey Starts With Awkward Packing Decisions

Raise your hand if you’ve ever overpacked three pairs of heels for a trip that only involved walking tours of ruins (just me?). Packing is always a microcosm of who you think you are versus who you actually are. I thought I was the kind of person who needed stilettos for a week in Italy; turns out I’m the kind of person who digs into her carry-on for emergency loafers halfway through the Vatican.

Similarly, so much of dating and forming relationships starts with the same kind of overthinking. We stuff ourselves with what we think the world wants to see—tidy versions of our personalities, carefully curated quirks, unnecessary accessories—and then end up carrying too much baggage. Whether you’re meeting someone new or reintroducing yourself to an old flame, expecting perfection often gets in the way of just being comfortable. Sometimes your “flats-and-jeans” energy is all someone’s really looking for.

My advice? Pack light, in travel and in relationships. You’d be surprised how much easier everything feels when you’re not lugging around unrealistic expectations.

2. The Best Adventures Usually Aren’t in the Brochure

When I was a tour guide in Savannah, there were always visitors who clung to their itineraries as if straying from them would result in catastrophic sightseeing failure. They’d hustle from one plantation to the next, speed-reading plaques and snapping photos, all to say they had “done” Savannah. I silently pitied these folks because, nine times out of ten, the real magic came from wandering a little further, taking an unexpected turn, or chatting with a stranger on a park bench beneath the moss.

If there’s one lesson travel has taught me about people, it’s this: the highlights of someone’s personality are rarely in the “brochure.” Sure, you’ll learn the surface-level facts on the first few dates—the favorite movies, the job title, the obligatory “Instagram fun fact” (do we all raise plants these days or is that just me?). But real connection? That comes from the unexpected. The backstories people only share on lazy Sunday afternoons, or the quirks that emerge when their guard drops.

Tip for life and love? Slow down and savor the moment. Forget the checklist. Whether it’s a new city or a budding relationship, let yourself look past the highlights someone’s presenting to the world. That’s where the good stuff lives.

3. Accept Delays With Grace (And Maybe a Cocktail)

Ah, delays. Nothing tests your character—or your patience—quite like being stranded in an airport. Once, during a layover in Atlanta, I had to occupy myself for six hours with nothing but overpriced sandwiches and a crammed paperback of Flannery O’Connor short stories. It would’ve been easy to spiral into frustration, but instead, I made a decision: order a drink, settle into a corner seat, and people-watch to my heart’s content. It turned what could’ve been a miserable day into, dare I say, an oddly comforting memory.

Delays happen in romances too. You’ll meet someone with the right energy at the absolute wrong time. Or you’ll hit a lull when you thought your relationship was accelerating toward “the next step.” There’s a temptation to force things, to demand movement that isn’t meant to happen yet. But just like a delayed flight, sometimes life (or love) is asking you to sit still for a reason.

What do I recommend? Patience, perspective, and yes, maybe a cocktail. When things feel like they’re stalling out, take it as an invitation to observe, reflect, and maybe find something delightful in the in-between.

4. The Wrong Turns Always Have the Best Stories

Remember that hot, sweaty Charleston afternoon? As much as I hated it at the time, getting lost led me somewhere I never expected: the porch of this tiny, hole-in-the-wall café tucked on a street I hadn’t even meant to find. I sat there, sipping sweet tea and watching the shadows fall across the old brick buildings, feeling oddly… peaceful. That unexpected detour became the highlight of my summer.

The wrong turns are the same in relationships. They make for messy, awkward, embarrassing moments—but they also teach us the most. Maybe you’ve sat across from someone on a date who made you think, I will never, ever date an aspiring magician again. Or maybe you went all-in with someone who wasn’t emotionally available and came out of it knowing exactly what you need next time. The heartbreak, the disasters—they all add to your story.

The key? Don’t waste energy regretting the detours or the dead-ends. They deliver you to where you’re meant to be, even if the journey gets bumpy.

5. No Souvenir Beats the Memories You Take Home

On a recent trip to New Orleans, I tried so hard to find the perfect souvenir—a gilded antique brooch, maybe, or a monogrammed handkerchief that felt specifically “me.” But by the end of the trip, what stuck with me wasn’t something I could bring back. It was the French Quarter’s brass band echoing through the streets, the cinnamon-dusted beignets at sunrise, and the hidden courtyard fountain I stumbled upon when taking a shortcut. The memories, not the mementos, shaped the trip.

Dating and relationships are just like that. The grand gestures fade. The flowers wilt, the restaurant bills get filed away, and the photos from your dreamy vacation together settle on a hard drive. What lingers are the laughs you shared, the meaningful moments, and the understanding you carved out between the two of you.

Lesson learned? Look for connection, not just collectibles. Build moments you’ll replay fondly long after the romance (or the trip) has ended.

Wanderlust and Love: The Same Feeling, Really

At its heart, the allure of travel isn’t so different from the pull of romance. Both are invitations to step into the unknown, to discover not just places (or people) but parts of yourself you didn’t know existed. Whether I’m tracing the outlines of Savannah’s azalea-lined streets or facing the overwhelming chaos of a Parisian train station, I keep reminding myself: every experience, good or bad, adds something essential. Every wrong turn carries a lesson.

And isn’t that what we’re all here for—travelers of the heart and mind, learning as we go?

Next time you catch yourself fumbling with Google Maps or navigating the uncharted territory of a new relationship, remember this: you’ve already got the tools to find your way. Embrace the detours. Smile through the delays. And always, always leave room in your life for the unexpected.

Bon voyage. You've got this.