Byline: Sometimes, to find yourself, you have to get lost—preferably somewhere with bad cell service and good coffee.
Introduction
The thing no one tells you about traveling is that it’s basically one giant mirror—you pack your bags thinking you’re about to absorb the world’s wonders, only to realize the world has a few things to say about you too. It’s a bit like dating the universe: equal parts thrilling, humbling, and occasionally uncomfortable when you try to ask for directions in a language you don’t speak. Over the years, my trips—from the cobbled streets of Seville to the winding dirt roads of tiny New Mexico pueblos—have taught me more about myself than I thought possible. Spoiler alert: It wasn’t all glamorous. Turns out, there’s no escape from certain truths, even if you’re clutching a map and sipping sangria.
Here’s the cheat sheet of lessons I’ve learned while living out of a suitcase and navigating strange lands (and stranger moments).
1. You’re Never Fully Packed—In Travel or in Life
Packing a suitcase is an unholy mix of ambition and delusion. I used to bring four pairs of impractical shoes and a “just in case” dress that hasn’t seen daylight since Obama’s first term. After one particularly brutal trek through snow-dusted Krakow in heeled boots (I blame Pinterest), I learned to let go of perfectionism—or at least my misguided belief that I’d morph into a more glamorous version of myself mid-flight.
The same applies to emotional baggage. Everything we carry—insecurities, assumptions, habits—always comes along with us, for better or worse. What I’ve learned is this: Be intentional about what you pack for any journey, literal or metaphorical. If it doesn’t serve the trip, don’t drag it along.
Practical Tip: Whether adding socks to your suitcase or new commitments into your life, ask, “Do I genuinely need this, or am I just afraid to travel without it?”
2. Discomfort Is Your Greatest Tinder Match
Travel—and love, for that matter—has a way of hurling you out of your comfort zone, face-first into awkward situations. Like the time I mispronounced "sobremesa" in Spain and accidentally asked someone if they needed a "funeral table" (spoiler: they did not). Or that unforgettable bus ride through Oaxaca where the only seat was next to a restless chicken.
What I’ve learned is this: Discomfort isn’t a punishment; it’s an invitation. If you stick with it, it expands your world. That includes facing your loneliness while solo in a foreign city, stepping into relationships that ask more of you emotionally, or boarding that sketchy midnight train in Tokyo even though the conductor’s instructions sound like a plot twist in a low-budget horror film.
Practical Tip: When discomfort strikes—whether it’s a language barrier or a vulnerable moment in a relationship—don’t resist so hard. Let it stretch you. You’ll come out taller, figuratively speaking.
3. Getting Lost Can Be a Talent
Take it from someone with a mixed relationship to Google Maps: You don’t always need to know the next turn. Once, while exploring the Scottish Highlands, I veered off an intended hike (and, okay, may have ignored some vaguely worded signage), only to stumble upon a misty hillside speckled with wild heather. No itinerary could’ve planned something that beautiful.
This accidental detour translates beautifully to dating and life: Sometimes the “wrong” path is the one that helps you find who you really are. Getting lost isn’t failure—it’s wandering with style.
Practical Tip: Leave wiggle room in your plans. Whether it’s a free afternoon abroad or time to figure out who you are post-breakup, trust there’s value in the unpredictability.
4. Food Is a Love Language Everywhere
One of my most vivid travel memories is eating tamales at dusk in a tiny New Mexican village while a grey-haired woman laughed at my clumsy Spanish. I couldn’t always understand her words, but the invitation for a second helping was universal.
Here’s what travel taught me about food: It’s never just food. The willingness to break bread—or fry it, grill it, or dip it in too much chili oil—is its own form of connection. Later in life, I realized the same applies to relationships. Sharing a meal (or a Netflix binge) is rarely about what’s at the table, but the act of being at the table together.
Practical Tip: When traveling or connecting, prioritize experiences over aesthetics. The best moments aren’t Instagram-worthy—they’re memory-worthy.
5. You Can Outrun Jet Lag but Not Yourself
I used to think getting on a plane was a shortcut to reinvention. New place, new me, right? Except that wherever you go, there you are. On a rainy trip to Amsterdam, I caught myself dwelling on the same anxieties I’d been trying to leave behind in Santa Fe. The change in latitude didn’t erase them (rude), but it did give me fresh perspective.
Travel snaps you back into awareness—every café menu or foreign metro line forces you to pay attention. It’s a not-so-subtle reminder that distraction isn’t the same as growth. Similarly, in relationships, no breakup or new romance will “fix” you. Growth comes when you sit with yourself, even when the scenery is uncomfortable.
Practical Tip: Use travel (and love) as a mirror, not a Band-Aid. If something’s not right internally, chances are the Eiffel Tower won’t fix it—but pausing to reflect over a perfect croissant? That might.
6. Saying Yes Requires Practice
A few years ago in Lisbon, someone suggested renting scooters to explore the city’s infamous hills. My inner voice shrieked, “Absolutely not, have you seen gravity in action?” But I said yes. That afternoon, between slightly-chaotic wipeouts, I giggled my way into the kind of freedom I rarely let myself feel.
Travel teaches you that saying yes doesn’t mean you’re fearless; it means you’re willing to try even when you’re scared. The same goes for opening up to new experiences in relationships. Vulnerability might send you rolling faster than you’re ready for, but man, the view’s worth it.
Practical Tip: The next time you’re tempted to shut something down—an invite, a compliment, a new experience—ask yourself what’s the worst that could really happen. Most of the time, the fear is more dramatic than reality.
Conclusion: Take the Trip, Answer the Call, Go Where You’ve Never Been
When I look back on my travels, what stands out isn’t the perfect itineraries (okay, there were none), but the moments I leaned in: the detours, the missteps, even the time I got food poisoning in Morocco and bonded with two Australian backpackers over electrolyte packets.
Travel has a way of stripping you bare—of your expectations, your self-imposed rules, and your unnecessary defenses. It hands you a compass and whispers, “Now what?” What I’ve learned is this: Whether discovering new places or new parts of yourself, the answer is always to keep going.
So, yes, book the flight. Order the street food. Say yes to things that scare you, and pack more socks than you think you'll need. Chances are, you’ll return home with a lot more than stamped passports and souvenir mugs—you’ll come back with yourself, too.
