Getting Lost to Find Myself

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from travel, it’s that you don’t truly know yourself until you find yourself stranded on a cobblestone street, clutching a soggy map, trying—and failing—to decipher directions in a language you don’t speak. Travel has a way of peeling back the layers, revealing parts of yourself you didn’t even know you packed. Sometimes, in the middle of an unfamiliar city or a postcard-perfect seaside village, you stumble upon a version of yourself that feels more authentic than the one tethered to your day-to-day life.

Exploring new places shifted my perspective not just on the world, but on who I am—and who I want to be. Here’s what getting out of my comfort zone (and occasionally getting very, very lost) taught me about myself.

1. I’m More Resilient Than I Give Myself Credit For

Nothing builds resilience quite like navigating the London Underground during a rush-hour delay while carrying three suitcases and watching your prepaid Oyster card flash an ominous red at the turnstile. When I spent a year abroad in England after college, there were moments I felt wildly out of my depth. Maybe it was the heavy, consistent rain or the subtle cultural differences (no, I will never fully understand cricket), but life abroad sometimes felt distinctly… unromantic.

I learned that resilience doesn’t always mean boldly charging ahead. Sometimes it looks more like quietly figuring it out: asking for help, trying again, letting yourself cry in an atmospheric alleyway and then laughing at the absurdity of it all. Over time, I realized I could handle more than I thought. By the end of my time in England, I was navigating the Tube like a local (and smugly explaining the rules of cricket to unsuspecting tourists).

Takeaway: When life challenges you—even in the form of a chaotic transit system—remember that you’re stronger than that voice in your head might let on. Every stumble is a step toward growth.

2. My Favorite Moments Happen When I Let Go of Plans

For someone who grew up in a family where summer boat races began with meticulous tide charts and synchronized start times, letting go of plans does not come naturally to me. I am a planner by DNA—and if there’s ever a spreadsheet for a weekend getaway, you’d better believe it’s color-coded. But some of my most memorable travel experiences happened when I tossed the itinerary aside.

One afternoon in Tuscany, I abandoned a tightly scheduled wine-tasting tour and spontaneously followed a hand-painted sign on the side of the road that read “Formaggio Fresco.” What I found was an elderly Italian woman stirring a cauldron of fresh cheese on her back patio under a sprawling olive tree. I spent hours sampling her creations, cobbling together scraps of Italian to thank her. That experience wasn’t on TripAdvisor—but it’s etched into my memory far longer than a peek at the Leaning Tower of Pisa ever could be.

Takeaway: Sometimes the best moments in life (and in love) come when you loosen your grip, lean into spontaneity, and allow yourself to follow the sign that wasn’t part of the plan.

3. I Crave Connection—And I’m Capable of Building It Anywhere

Traveling alone taught me a lot about solitude but even more about connection. On my first solo trip, I arrived at a cozy pub in Whitby, England, feeling the distinct sting of loneliness. All around me, groups of friends were toasting pints and sharing exaggerated tales with the kind of camaraderie that makes you acutely aware of your own aloneness.

I could have retreated to my inn, but then I remembered something my grandmother always told me before I left home: “You’ll be surprised at how kind other people can be if you just give them a chance.” So I struck up a conversation with the group of locals at the next table. By the end of the evening, I had a pint in one hand and a long list of recommendations scrawled on a napkin in the other. Those strangers made me laugh harder than I had in weeks and reminded me that connection is everywhere—if you’re willing to reach for it.

Takeaway: Whether you’re exploring a new city or meeting someone new in your love life, taking the first step to reach out isn’t always easy—but it can unlock a depth of connection that stays with you far beyond the moment.

4. It’s Okay to Be Awful at Something

Confession: I am historically terrible at water sports. This made growing up on the coast of Maine something of a cruel irony, seeing as my classmates seemed to emerge from the womb with an innate ability to waterski. Still, on a dare during a trip to the Florida Keys, I signed up for a paddleboarding lesson. Spoiler alert: I fell. A lot. But as the day wore on, I started laughing at my less-than-graceful wipeouts. By sunset, I was wobbly but standing—feeling sunburned but triumphant.

My failed paddleboarding debut taught me that I don’t have to excel at every new thing I try (a painful revelation for someone who grew up in a town where second place at the yacht club regatta was a source of quiet disgrace). I still wouldn’t call myself a paddleboarder, but I’ve learned to embrace the wobble—and to laugh at myself more generously.

Takeaway: Whether you’re trying a new hobby, going on a first date, or attending a salsa class with your partner, it’s okay to not be great at everything. Sometimes the joy is in the trying, not the perfect execution.

5. Home Is as Much a Feeling as a Place

Despite all the postcards, passport stamps, and pin-drop locations I’ve collected over the years, nothing prepared me for the feeling I get when I see the Maine coastline again—the heart-stopping expanse of rocky cliffs, the scent of salt in the air, and the warmth of a lobster roll cradled in wax paper. Even when I’m far from home, I find echoes of it in unexpected places: the rhythmic crash of ocean waves in Greece, the familiarity of a hand-worn staircase in an Irish castle that seems to whisper of New England shipbuilders.

Travel reshapes your idea of “home.” It becomes less about the geography and more about the people, the feeling, the belonging you create. Whether I’m flipping fried dough at a street market in Prague or navigating the steep sidewalks of San Francisco, the spirit of home is a small, snug light I’ve learned to carry with me—and welcome others into.

Takeaway: Home doesn’t have to be tethered to one location. It’s a feeling, a connection, a sense of rooted comfort. And you have the power to take it with you, wherever you go.

The Road Always Leads Back to You

Every trip is a journey inward as much as it is outward. What I’ve learned after years of hopping continents and wandering cobblestone paths is that travel shows you who you are—not your Instagram-highlight self, but the raw, real version of you. The you who can laugh at a missed train, fumble through awkward conversations, and find beauty in a stranger’s kindness.

Travel may not have solved all my problems or turned me into a fearless globe-trotter who packs light (I will always overpack; it’s my curse). But it’s helped me find pieces of myself—a little bolder, a little brighter, and a little more in tune with what I really need. So, whether you’re hopping a puddle jumper to an island getaway or road-tripping to a diner town three hours away, don’t just go looking for adventure. Go looking for yourself. The view might surprise you.