When I think about what drives me, my values play the same role as a good playlist on a road trip—a mix of rhythm, meaning, and emotional backbone to keep you moving forward. Like most people, my beliefs didn’t come pre-packaged; they’re stitched together by life’s experiences—the tender and the cringeworthy alike, a lot like one of those patchwork quilts that everyone pretends to love but secretly judges. Today, as a writer, a proud Latina, and someone who’s navigated enough awkward first dates to fill a Netflix series, I lean on those beliefs as my North Star. Let me take you on the scenic route of what I stand for and why it fuels everything I do.

The Power of Connection — Even When It’s Messy

Growing up in Santiago, my family’s home was the neighborhood’s unofficial meeting spot. Every Friday night, music would wail from the speakers, neighbors trickled in like clockwork, and people squeezed into whatever nook or cranny they could find. Introductions weren’t necessary; everyone belonged. It was loud, chaotic, and sweaty—a far cry from the curated candlelit Pinterest parties of today—but it came with a sense of comfort and connection that was almost sacred.

This formative chaos taught me to cherish relationships, imperfections and all. It’s easy to expect relationships to look Instagram-perfect, with matching outfits and shared acai bowls, but let me tell you something revolutionary: real connection is messy. It’s arguing over who left the stove on, crying over bad days, and sometimes questioning why you even bothered to text someone “good morning” for the 47th day straight.

Belief #1: Embrace the messy. Whether it’s fumbling over a first conversation with someone new or figuring out where the romance went during year five of a relationship, the beauty lies in showing up for it anyway.

Practical Tip: The next time things get awkward—like when you reveal a weird obsession too early or forget their favorite color—lean in. Awkward is just authenticity wearing a funny hat.

Cultural Roots Build Stronger Wings

Growing up in Chile meant balancing traditional values with modern ideas. My parents couldn’t understand why I wanted to study literature instead of law. I couldn’t explain why Pablo Neruda felt like home the way dusty legal textbooks never could. Somewhere between being too "free-spirited" for tradition and too "serious" for spontaneity, I found myself carving out my own path and learning to weave the two together.

The same principle applies to relationships. We often leave out the deeper aspects of who we are—our families, our values, our utterly irrational superstition about avoiding black cats—because we fear they might scare off potential connections. But those details, however unconventional they might seem, are often the stuff that makes you memorable. In my case, it’s the way I instinctively hum a Violeta Parra tune when I’m stressed or the fact that I believe no meal is complete without at least one person breaking into off-key song. Those quirks serve as an anchor—both for me and for anyone navigating the whirlwind of getting to know me better.

Belief #2: Show your roots unapologetically, whether that means your family’s obsession with empanadas or the fact that you secretly believe you can salsa dance (but only after two glasses of wine).

Practical Tip: On a date or even while deepening a long-term relationship, try bringing up a story from childhood or a tradition you still hold sacred. Whether it starts with “My abuela always said…” or “Every New Year’s Eve, we...” sharing your roots adds intoxicating layers that make emotional connection so much richer.

Vulnerability Is Not a Weakness; It’s a Superpower in Disguise

Let’s talk about vulnerability—everyone’s favorite topic (said no one ever). There’s a prevailing idea that opening up too soon, or too much, is dangerous. And sure, proclaiming you have three cats named after Harry Potter characters in the first five minutes of a date might not scream “mysterious,” but it’s also authentically you, and isn’t that the point? Vulnerability, however terrifying, is what transforms surface-level flirtation into something worth sticking around for.

One of my strongest memories of being vulnerable happened during my time living in Madrid. Picture me standing in front of a small crowd at a café open mic, shaking like a maraca, sharing a poem about missing home. I remember faltering on a line and half-expecting someone to throw a tomato (or perhaps a churro). Instead, a round of applause roared through the room. The realization hit me like a freight train: when you let people see your jagged edges, it gives them permission to show you theirs too. Now, I try to bring this philosophy into my personal and professional life.

Belief #3: Vulnerability builds intimacy. Whether you’re making a romantic connection, deepening a friendship, or navigating conflict, letting someone into your unpolished world will often be the thing that makes them want to stay.

Practical Tip: Ask the deeper questions. Instead of defaulting to “How’s work?” or “What’s your favorite movie?” try asking, “What’s something you’d tell 15-year-old you?” or “When’s a moment you felt truly brave?” Vulnerability begets vulnerability—why not go first?

Joy Is Something You Create

Here’s a controversial opinion: you don’t “find” happiness; you build it, like piecing together IKEA furniture (minus the 17 leftover screws at the end). Early in my writing career, I spent a lot of time feeling inadequate, as though happiness were reserved for some elusive future “when” (when I got the dream job, when I found The One, when my frizz finally stopped defying all known hair products). But the older I got—and okay, after a tearful realization while reading The Art of Happiness—I realized that happiness is found in smaller actions: dancing barefoot in your kitchen, sending a random meme to your partner, or cooking yourself an extravagant meal when there’s no one else around to enjoy it.

Similarly, relationships thrive when you create joy together. Instead of waiting for the universe to hand you “perfect” moments, why not engineer the laughter and connection yourselves?

Belief #4: Happiness takes effort but is infinitely rewarding.

Practical Tip: Ban screens for one night a week and replace them with shared activities (board games, cooking challenges, or even TikTok-inspired dance-offs). Sometimes the ugliest pancake flip can spark the loudest laughter—and isn’t that everything?

Conclusion: A Love Letter to the Journey

In a world saturated with quick fixes and 10-step guides promising perfect connections, it’s easy to forget that the best relationships aren’t about perfection. They’re not a perfectly aligned aesthetic or a fairytale ending; they’re works-in-progress, living postcards of vulnerability, roots, chaos, and effort.

So to anyone out there navigating the labyrinth of relationships—romantic, platonic, or otherwise—remember that the magic lies not in being flawless but in being unapologetically, beautifully human. From flirt to familiar, the best step forward is always grounded in what matters most: showing up with intention, love, and maybe just a smidge of humor.

Go ahead, make the first move—even if that move is accidentally spilling your drink (trust me, it’s what legends are made of).