There’s something delicious about a fresh start—or at least, that’s what I told myself the evening I scroll-purchased a neon pink planner during a post-breakup spiral. My then-boyfriend of three years had dumped me over a brunch of mimosas and scrambled eggs. One moment we’re debating the superiority of flour tortillas over corn, and the next, he’s telling me he “needs space to find himself.” I remember thinking: Space? In Houston? Good luck, amigo.

That planner? It wasn’t just a new phase; it was survival. My habit of organization—not the pretty Pinterest kind, but the messy, real-life kind—gave me something I never thought I’d find again: myself.

You don’t need to overhaul your life to feel in control. For me, it was one ridiculously basic tool that flipped everything. Here’s how changing one small habit unknowingly became my emotional cheat code—and no, you don’t need a pink planner to make it work.

Step One: Find a Corner of Your Chaos

The morning after the breakup, I sat cross-legged on my bed surrounded by what could only be described as the aftermath of a Category 3 emotional hurricane. Clothes strung across furniture, Post-Its with half-written ideas scattershot like confetti, and unopened envelopes giving me the side-eye from my desk. I thought, “¿Qué carajo am I doing?” That mess wasn’t just clutter; it was me on the inside, spilled out everywhere.

I opened my blindingly neon planner because it promised order in the storm. Step one? Write everything—feelings, tasks, goals, everything—down. The act itself was soothing, like untangling a ball of yarn. At first, it was little things:
- Call the bank.
- Laundry (finally).
- Water your poor, crispy plant.

It wasn’t revolutionary, but it was a start. And sometimes, that’s all you need.

Creating Space for Joy

Noticing the chaos in our lives isn’t enough—we need to make actual space for what matters. So, one section of my planner became a curated list of small joys:
- Call abuela for her arroz con pollo recipe.
- Take yourself out for coffee (and don’t scroll on your phone the entire time).
- Dance to Celia Cruz and pretend no one's watching.

That list? It changed everything. I realized I didn’t need grand, sweeping changes to feel more grounded. Picking up little pockets of happiness—even for five minutes during my workday—helped me reclaim my time in a way no ex could take away.

Section Your Life Like Netflix Genres

Remember when Netflix had just a handful of categories? Action, comedy, romance, boom—done. These days? There’s a category for “Movies Featuring Strong Female Leads Who Are Also Surprisingly Into Archery.” Your life deserves that same level of attention.

I separated my planner into sections that spoke to how I wanted to grow post-breakup. Categories like:
- "Habits to Build" (e.g., journaling, drinking more water, waking up before frantically checking emails).
- "Dream Projects" (picture me crying over a short story draft, licking Takis powder off my fingers).
- "Self-Care Goals" (because yes, shaving my legs before an event counts as ambition in my book).

Before long, I noticed patterns. I could pinpoint which areas I was neglecting (ahem, my creative projects) and start scheduling time to reconnect with what fueled me. When was the last time I’d written just for myself? Or taken a walk to Taco Truck #3 in the neighborhood without multitasking?

Building a Habit Means Showing Up Messy

There’s this expectation that changing your life requires perfect commitment. Instagram shows people with bullet journals prettier than my quinceañera invites. If that’s you—congrats. For me, building a new habit meant showing up as messy as I felt and just… starting.

Some weeks, I forgot to open my planner. Other times, it became a venting space for unhinged feelings like, “WHY HAVEN’T MEN EVOLVED SINCE THE CAVEMAN ERA?” The key wasn’t perfection—it was consistency.

For anyone trying to cultivate a new habit, here’s the tea:
1. Start Small: Don’t try to conquer your entire life in one go. Start with one or two habits that feel doable.
2. Flexibility is Your Friend: Your planner (or any habit) should serve you, not the other way around. Miss a day? Cool. Try again tomorrow.
3. Celebrate Tiny Wins: Did I work out today? Nope. Did I spend 20 minutes reorganizing my playlists? Yes—and that counts as self-care, thank you very much.

When the Habit Becomes Bigger Than You

Here’s the twist: Building this habit wasn’t just about getting my life in order. It became a mirror. Each page of that planner reflected priorities I didn’t even know I had. It forced me to slow down and ask, What do I actually want?—not what my ex, my boss, or social media wanted for me.

One Saturday morning, as I scribbled ideas for an article I’d been too scared to pitch, I thought back to my high school self hustling over deadline stories for the student paper. That girl had big energy, and this habit accidentally brought her back.

Plus, being kind of a “together person” made dating again (eventually—don’t rush me) a lot less daunting. I knew what I wanted, what I didn’t, and where I’d literally penciled in space for someone else when the time was right.

The Takeaway

There’s no perfect formula for fixing heartbreak—or any major life overhaul, for that matter. But finding a small habit, something manageable and honest, can steady you enough to pick a path forward.

For me, it was the simple act of planning: a messily curated space to unclog the chaos, find joy in little things, and put myself back on the priority list. A planner may not be your exact vibe, but the habit of showing up for yourself—however that looks—is worth it.

So, grab a notebook, your phone, or that random receipt buried in your car’s cupholder, and scribble. Scribble down one thing you want to tackle tomorrow. Congrats, you’ve started.

And if all else fails? There’s always neon pink. Blinding in the best way possible.