Let me start with a confession: I used to think “finding yourself” through travel was just something Instagram influencers said to justify why they were posing on beaches in Bali wearing flowing linen outfits (or, occasionally, far less than linen). It sounded nice in theory, but it also felt suspiciously like a Hallmark card concept. Turns out, as much as I hate to admit it, there’s some truth to the cliché. Travel does teach you about yourself—but not in the overly curated, soft-focus way I once imagined. It’s messier, full of surprises, and often comes in the form of awkward mishaps and moments of sheer un-glamorous humanity.

Here’s what I’ve learned about myself—and maybe about all of us—while navigating foreign streets, eating questionable street food, and learning to ask “Where’s the bathroom?” in four different languages.

1. I’m Not as Patient as I Thought (And That’s Okay)

Listen, I thought I was pretty easygoing before I stepped foot in an airport for a 16-hour flight. Boy, was I wrong. When you’re stuck behind five people arguing about carry-on sizes in the TSA line or waiting three hours for a train you’re not entirely sure is going in the right direction... patience becomes a theoretical concept at best.

But here's the thing: travel teaches you how to deal with it. I’ve learned to unclench my metaphorical fists (sometimes my literal ones—looking at you, Chatty Guy in Row 22C) and surrender to situations I can't control. Yeah, it sucks when your flight gets delayed, but isn’t that the perfect excuse to grab an overpriced airport beer and people-watch? When life reroutes your plans, maybe it’s just telling you to slow down. And when you can’t slow down? At least you’ll have a good travel war story later.

This applies to relationships too. Sometimes, things don’t go as planned. Maybe someone’s terrible at texting or they chew too loudly on dates (again, Row 22C energy). But that’s when you ask: Can I live with this? And if not, maybe it’s time to book a one-way trip out of that situation.

2. Trying New Things Is a Muscle You Can (and Should) Exercise

I’ll never forget the first time I tried guinea pig in Peru. Yes, guinea pig. It’s a delicacy there, but to me—an American raised on my abuela’s ropa vieja—it felt unnatural and, frankly, a little wrong. But you know what? I tried it anyway. (Spoiler: It tasted like a more gamey chicken. Not bad, but also not life-changing.)

The thing is, stepping out of your comfort zone changes you in small but meaningful ways. It's not just about the guinea pigs of life (though that’s a phrase I’d love to see embroidered on a throw pillow). It’s about saying yes to things that scare you—a salsa class in Bogotá, a solo dinner in Tokyo, or the simple bravery of striking up a conversation with a stranger in Paris.

The same goes for dating. Often, we stick to what’s comfortable—our “type” or our routine Netflix-and-takeout dates. But trying something—someone—different can be game-changing. Worst case? You hate the guinea pig and don’t order another plate. Best case? You find new flavors you didn’t know your heart craved.

3. I’m Way More Capable Than I Give Myself Credit For

Here’s a fun fact: I once got stranded on a tiny Italian train platform in the middle of nowhere at 10 p.m., without cell service, and with only a bag of stale chips to my name. My options? Curl into a ball and cry, or figure it out. Spoiler alert: I’m here to tell the tale, so clearly I chose the latter. (Pro tip: Befriending a middle-aged Italian man with an extensive knowledge of train schedules will save your sanity. Antonio, wherever you are, I owe you a plate of ropa vieja.)

Travel forces you to figure things out. You become your own navigator, translator, and occasional disaster-relief team. It’s empowering, and it reminds you of how resilient you can be.

In relationships, this lesson translates too. When you hit a rough patch—because you will—you’ll remember that if you can make it across Europe without losing your suitcase and your mind, you can definitely handle a tough conversation or a long-distance stretch. Being capable doesn’t mean never needing help; it means trusting that you’ll figure it out, no matter what.

4. Connection Is Universal (Even If You Don’t Speak the Language)

I was 19 the first time I traveled outside the U.S. and sent to Spain on a study-abroad trip. I didn’t speak fluent Spanish back then (don’t tell my parents—it was a dark chapter in my Cuban upbringing), and while most people in Madrid spoke some English, occasionally there’d be a moment—the barista handing me my café con leche, the elderly man feeding pigeons in the plaza—where words weren’t enough. And you know what? A smile and a little patience went a long way. People don’t need perfect grammar to feel seen.

This has been one of the most meaningful lessons for both travel and relationships. Connection doesn’t always come from saying the perfect thing; it comes from effort, from vulnerability, from showing up for someone even when you’re not sure you’re doing it right. Sometimes, it’s enough to just sit together in the silence.

And let’s be real: Whether you’re on a date or lost in a foreign city, shared laughter over a mutual misunderstanding is basically the best icebreaker known to humankind.

5. Home Is a Feeling, Not a Place

Here’s a cliché that actually lives up to its hype. Every time I’ve left Miami—my family, my friends, the suffocating year-round humidity—I thought I’d feel untethered. And sometimes, I did. I missed Friday nights crammed around the dining table at my parents’ house, my abuelo interrupting with stories I’d heard a thousand times but still secretly loved.

But then something shifts. Home stops being an address and starts becoming the places and people who welcome you as you are. Home was my favorite café in Chicago during that brutal Midwest winter. It was a train conductor in Germany who patiently helped me figure out my connection despite my mangled pronunciation. It’s wherever I feel seen, safe, and rooted in the present moment.

Likewise, “home” in relationships is about being with someone who makes you feel secure—not just physically, but emotionally. When you find that person, the location fades into the background. It’s what they bring out in you that becomes home.

Traveling Forward

Here’s the honest truth: I don’t think I’ll ever be done learning about myself through travel. Every new place I visit, whether it’s a bustling city or a quiet countryside, chips away at the parts of me that need polishing and brings out new sides I didn’t know I had. Some lessons come easy, like the realization that gelato is always worth it—even if you’re lactose intolerant. Others are harder, like learning to be okay with being alone on a long trip, when loneliness and independence suddenly stop feeling like opposites.

But if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: Travel, much like love, is messy, beautiful, and absolutely worth it. So pack your bags, leave your expectations behind, and get ready to meet yourself in a brand-new way.

You might not become the next Instagram influencer. But trust me—you’ll come back with far better stories.