The Things I Can’t Live Without
Picture this: It’s a perfectly typical weekday in Miami—humid, loud, and buzzing with the unspoken promise of cafecitos and possibilities. The key to thriving (and surviving) here isn’t luck; it’s a carefully curated collection of essentials that make life sweeter, easier, and a little more magical. Turns out, the same tools that get me through life in the tropical chaos of South Florida also double as a surprisingly solid guide to navigating relationships. From steadfast staples to unexpected allies, here’s my list of life—and love—must-haves.
1. Cuban Coffee (aka, Liquid Gold)
Nothing happens without coffee. Nothing. Growing up, my abuela would brew her café cubano every morning, humming Celia Cruz tunes as she measured out sugar with more precision than a scientist working on a space launch. Now, I can confidently say that a proper shot of espresso fuels not just my workdays but also my approach to love. Why? Because relationships require energy—real energy—and patience.
Just like that first sip jolts me into being present, relationships demand we show up—consistently. Plus, let’s be real, whether it’s 7 a.m. or date night, no one wants to deal with a lethargic partner who’s halfway asleep over the tostones. So, caffeine up, buttercup. Life moves fast.
2. A Red Lipstick (Even on Tuesdays)
People say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but diamonds don’t have the transformative power of a swipe of red lipstick. There’s something almost magical about the ritual of it—opening the tube, applying it just right, and reveling in the instant confidence boost. It’s the ultimate power move.
For me, wearing red lipstick isn’t about looking a certain way for someone else. It’s about owning my space. It reminds me that even on days when my hair has lost a fight with the Miami humidity, I’m still absolutely that girl. In dating, too, confidence is a game-changer. Whether you’re single and ready to mingle or 20 years into a rock-solid partnership, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about owning your imperfect, radiant self.
3. A Killer Playlist (That’s Heavier on Reggaetón Than I’d Like to Admit)
Let me ask you a question: How many times has a song completely changed your mood? Exactly. Whether it’s a Bad Bunny banger or a Celia Cruz classic, my playlists are a lifeline. Music has a way of turning ordinary moments into something memorable—from dancing in the kitchen with a date to soundtracking a solo road trip to clear my head post-breakup.
Relationships need rhythm, and not just the metaphorical kind. I’m a big believer in finding someone who will shamelessly belt out lyrics with you at red lights or sway under string lights at a random outdoor concert. If they can keep up with my questionable dance moves, even better.
4. Family Recipes (And the Stories That Go With Them)
Here’s something my abuela taught me: Food isn’t just sustenance; it’s a love language. The smells coming out of her kitchen—frying plantains, simmering sofrito—were her way of wrapping us in warmth and care. And while I’ve nearly burned down my kitchen trying to recreate her magic, her recipes remind me that relationships, like cooking, require attention, effort, and sometimes a little improvisation.
Whether you’re crafting a meal for two or hosting a lively family dinner where someone will bring up politics, there’s no greater way to connect than over food. Pro tip? If your date can roll a mean croqueta or is willing to sit through a semi-chaotic Sunday brunch with your Cuban cousins, they’re a keeper.
5. An Uber-Soft Blanket (Because Comfort Is Everything)
If you’ve ever lived in Miami, then you know: We crank the AC like we’re trying to preserve an ancient artifact. This means a cozy blanket is non-negotiable. But beyond shielding me from my home’s self-inflicted tundra, that blanket also reminds me of the importance of true comfort—in life and relationships.
Sure, the thrill of the chase is fun, and grand romantic gestures make for great Instagram posts. But the real heart of any bond is found in the quieter moments. It’s the feeling of being able to unwind, laugh uncontrollably, or simply say nothing at all because you know you’re with someone you could metaphorically (and literally) bundle up with on a rainy day.
6. Waterproof Mascara (Because Miami’s Weather—and Love—Gets Messy)
I’ve learned two undeniable truths about life: Miami rain comes without warning, and relationships will make you cry. Sometimes the tears spring from frustration (why can’t they just text back?!), and other times, they seep out in laughter that leaves you gasping for air. Either way, waterproof mascara is non-negotiable.
For me, it represents resilience—proof that even when things get messy, you can carry on and still look pretty good doing it. Some smudges, fine. But nothing unfixable. And honestly? The same goes for love. You’re allowed to be messy, to fumble, to show up flawed and imperfect. It’s about enduring the storm, whether it’s an actual thunderclap or just a tough conversation.
7. A Journal (Because Some Things You’ve Gotta Work Out Solo)
I didn’t always get along with journaling. When I was younger, I treated it like homework—a drab to-do that sat on my nightstand collecting dust. But in my 20s, something clicked. That blank page became a place to process heartbreaks, celebrate wins, or simply fixate on the quirky details that make life beautiful—like the older couple I saw holding hands on Calle Ocho while arguing over who made the winning domino move.
Being in a relationship is great, but you know what’s better? Being in a solid relationship with yourself—knowing who you are and what fuels your fire. And for me, journaling is the dialogue I have with my truest self. Because sometimes, “What do I want?” or “Am I happy?” are questions no partner can answer for you.
8. A Go-To Comedy Show (Because Laughter Wins Every Time)
To this day, I’ll rewatch episodes of The Office like it’s a professional duty. Laughter has gotten me through rooftop arguments, awkward virtual dates (remember those?), and nights when I’ve been too far inside my own head. Relationships can be serious business, but they should come with regular intermissions to belly laugh until you can’t breathe.
Find humor in the little things. Like messing up your Spanish while introducing your gringo boyfriend to your tias. Or bonding over how your attempts at salsa look more like aerobics gone wrong. Whatever it is, embrace the silliness. Love’s moments of hilarity are what you’ll think about 10 years later and still laugh over.
9. Gold Hoop Earrings (Because They’re Basically Armor)
No joke, I’ve fallen asleep wearing hoops before. They’re second only to my cafecito in “things that make me feel fully myself.” They carry a nod to my heritage, a dash of rebellion (because who hasn’t heard “those are too big”), and enough shine to catch a glance across a room.
Gold hoops remind me of the importance of holding onto who you are—cultural quirks, imperfections, and all. In love, this is non-negotiable. The right person won’t ask you to shrink your shine. They’ll celebrate exactly what makes you, you.
10. A Small-but-Mighty Toolkit (Because DIY Is a Love Language)
Whether it’s swapping out a dead lightbulb or hanging a slightly crooked picture frame, my trusty toolkit is always at the ready. My dad taught me that self-reliance isn’t just practical—it’s empowering. And in love, this lesson is no different.
You’re capable, resourceful, and resilient. Sure, having someone who’ll hold the flashlight while you drill into the drywall is a bonus. But knowing you can take care of business solo when needed? That’s a game changer. Tools don’t just fix things—they build things. And the best relationships aren’t pre-assembled IKEA finds; they’re built together, one wobbly chair at a time.
Wrap-Up: Build Your Own “Can’t Live Withouts”
So there you have it—my essentials. They’re not just things I use; they’re reflections of the life (and love) lessons I’ve picked up along the way: Show up fully. Embrace your quirks. Drink coffee, laugh often, and never underestimate the power of a cozy blanket or a fresh coat of lipstick.
Of course, your list might look wildly different—and that’s the beauty of it. Whether it’s a favorite book, a lucky charm, or a song that always makes you smile, the things that shape your world will always shape your relationships. Gather them, hold them close, and let them guide you when life (or love) gets a little wild. Que viva!
