So, You Think My Job is Just Writing About Love? Nope, It’s Way More Than That.

Every so often, I’ll mention my writing gig to someone over beers or during a hike. Without fail, their response goes something like: “Oh, so you basically just give dating advice all day?” Or, even better, “Do you, like, write those cheesy love quizzes?” And while I’d love to claim I’m the next in line for a Buzzfeed-style “What Kind of Kisser Are You?” quiz dynasty, my work runs a bit deeper than that. (Also, for the record: No shade to love quizzes—those things are absurdly fun.)

So, to set the record straight, I’m here to talk about what it actually means to write about relationships for a living—and to bust a few myths while I’m at it. Spoiler alert: It’s way more complex than sprucing up your flirting game.

Myth #1: “It’s All About You, Right?”

This is usually delivered with a smirk, like I’m sitting in Boulder’s trendiest coffee shop, spinning recycled tales of my latest Bumble dates into straight content gold. And while lived experience certainly flavors my work—I’d be lying if I said my own stumbles in the dating world didn’t inspire a post or two—this job is far from an autobiographical exercise.

Let me put this into perspective: Writing about relationships isn’t me, spilled out on every page. It’s more like being a translator for universal truths. Sure, my time stuck in a painfully awkward “Define the Relationship” chat might fuel the opening anecdote of a piece, but my job is to step beyond my personal bubble and ask the important questions: Why is this such a common struggle? What do people really need to hear in this moment?

There’s a unique mix of research and storytelling at play. I’m often diving into psychological studies, interviewing relationship experts, or chatting with real people who’ve lived wildly different dating lives than mine. While my own experiences shape the tone, the heart of the matter is about you, dear reader. You’re here for insights you can relate to—not for me to unload my latest ghosting gripe. (Though, if you’re curious, the guy never even unfollowed me on Instagram. Weird flex, but okay.)

Myth #2: “You Must Be a Relationship Expert.”

Ah, this one’s fun. People hear that I write about relationships and instantly assume I’m some kind of love doctor, ready to diagnose their problems faster than you can swipe right. The truth? I’m no expert, and let’s be real, most relationship “experts” probably aren’t either.

Here’s what I am: curious. Writing in this field has taught me that relationships—whether they’re romantic, platonic, or somewhere in the tangled mess between—are beautifully unpredictable. What works for one person might flop for another. Think about it: Your best friend swears by having a joint Google calendar with her partner, but introducing that same system into your relationship led to passive-aggressive “meeting reminders.” Every connection is unique, which is why my job is less about prescribing one-size-fits-all fixes and more about offering perspectives that encourage you to think deeply about what works for you.

Does this mean I never dish out advice? Of course not. Friends and family still regularly slide into my texts with questions like, “What do I say to someone who’s terrible at texting?” My go-to response? “Say that. Be honest. Also, are you sure you’re texting someone who’s worth your emotional bandwidth?” If anything, this job has taught me how to cut through the noise and get real about love. No guarantees it works every time—but hey, it’s more effective than Googling “how to deal with bad texters.”

Myth #3: “You Just Write About Flirting and Breakups.”

While flirting and breakups are undeniably juicy (and let’s face it, endlessly clickable), the realm of relationships extends far beyond candlelit dinners and ugly cries over pints of Ben & Jerry’s. Seriously, the things we cover would surprise you.

For example: - Boundaries in relationships: What do they really mean, and why are they so hard to enforce?
- Friendship “breakups”: Because yes, losing your bestie in your 30s is heartbreak, too.
- Sexual communication: How to navigate those tricky conversations—without turning into a fumbling rom-com character.
- Long-term partnership struggles: The magic and the mess of navigating a decade together, long after the butterflies have flown.

We cover everything from the thrill of new romance to the quiet intimacy of deep, lasting love. My work isn’t about the sensational; it’s about the everyday. Some days, that means helping someone craft a heartfelt apology. Other days, it’s diving into why your partner’s attachment style might explain that argument about the dishwasher. (Seriously, research attachment styles—it’ll blow your mind.)

Myth #4: “You’re Always Romantic.”

This one makes me laugh because my humor is about 40% self-deprecation and 60% sardonic observations. Don’t get me wrong: I’ve had my poetic moments. Growing up in Boulder surrounded by wild landscapes, I naturally developed this wistful connection to the idea of love. But let me tell you, while I can wax poetic about the sunset-like quality of a meaningful connection, my day-to-day writing also includes stuff like: Why your therapist might not approve of love bombing or Here’s how to call out gaslighting (without lighting yourself on fire in the process).

Romance is a beautiful part of relationships, but it’s not the whole picture. Relationships get messy—like mismatched-socks, last-slice-of-pizza-type messy—and that’s where the real writing magic happens. It’s in the laughter after a fight, in the courage to be vulnerable, in the growth that comes from realizing you handled something so wrong and are willing to do better next time. Writing about love means celebrating the magic while acknowledging the mess. Maybe that’s the Terry Tempest Williams influence in my bones—finding wonder, even in life’s stormiest weather.

Behind the Curtain: What This Job is Really About

If I had to distill this job to its essence, I’d say it’s about helping people feel less alone. Whether someone is crying over a breakup, panicking about saying “I love you” first, or questioning if their long-distance relationship can survive, my work is about reminding them they’re not the only ones navigating this tangled web of human connection. And that? That’s worth all the “So, you write about kissing?” jokes I get.

So, the next time you assume my work is just fluff, remember: The love and laughter is part of it, sure—but so is the research, the storytelling, the soul-searching, and the advice that lands in your group chat at just the right moment. It’s work that matters more than people might think.

And, yeah—maybe I’ll sneak in a love quiz someday, just to keep everyone on their toes. I mean, who wouldn’t want to know if they’re “a bold adventurer” or “a lowkey romantic” in relationships?

Love may be messy, but it’s worth figuring out. Whatever step of the journey you’re on, whether you’re falling, floundering, or flourishing, we’ve got you covered. From the Flatirons to wherever you are—here’s to keeping it real, one connection at a time.