There are moments in life that sneak up on you like a firefly in a Lowcountry summer—unexpected, magical, and impossible to forget. For me, it was a phone call. Not the kind of call that starts with, “We need to talk,” or the dreaded, “Your car warranty is about to expire.” No, this was the good kind—the soul-shaking, course-changing conversation that rerouted my life’s GPS forever.
At the time, I had no idea that one ring could change everything. But, as they say, fate doesn’t announce itself. It just shows up, usually while you’re wearing sweatpants.
The Ring That Changed Everything
To set the scene, it was a muggy Charleston afternoon. The kind where the air hugs you tight, and your iced tea sweats faster than you do. I was at my parents’ house, sitting under the moss-draped branches of the old oak that had watched over our family for generations. This was my favorite spot to write, journal, and daydream about faraway cities and big opportunities. At twenty-four, fresh out of my MFA program, I was back home licking my wounds after a few rejections from literary agents. My desk was a mess of query letters, half-written chapters, and a mugful of pens, all pointedly ignoring me.
Then my phone buzzed. And, honestly, I nearly ignored it. At the time, I was in a committed relationship with "Do Not Disturb," and most calls were just spam or my grandma reminding me to oil my scalp.
But something told me to pick up.
The voice on the other end introduced herself as the editor of a Charleston newspaper I had admired for years. “We stumbled on one of your essays in an online lit mag,” she said. My heart did that thing it does when you walk into the kitchen and smell fresh cornbread.
She went on to explain that they loved how I wove cultural heritage into my work and wanted to know if I’d consider writing a weekly column about Charleston’s history and traditions. I blinked in disbelief. Me? The girl who was Googling “how to survive endless rejection and avoid carbs simultaneously?” I asked her if she was sure she had the right person.
She laughed and said, “Ebony, we need your voice."
Lessons from the Call That Changed My Life
That moment didn’t just make my career—it made me rethink everything I believed about timing, fear, and saying “yes” when life comes calling. If I hadn’t picked up, if I hadn’t been willing to share my stories with a larger audience, I’d still be camped out under that oak trying to figure out my next move.
Here’s what I learned from that call, and how you can apply it to your journey—whether in love, work, or navigating life’s big “what ifs.”
1. A Little Vulnerability Can Go a Long Way
Before that call, I was terrified of putting myself out there—scared that my stories weren’t good enough, that I wasn’t good enough. But I had shared that essay anyway, trusting the trembling voice inside me that whispered, “Write it down. Someone needs to hear this.”
In relationships, it’s the same. Vulnerability is the secret sauce to connection. Whether you’re opening up about your past or expressing what you truly want in the future, those moments of courage can deepen bonds faster than the perfect icebreaker.
Pro Tip: Instead of hiding what makes you unique, lean into it. Show up as your full, authentic self, no matter how “flawed” you think that self might be. Someone will see you, truly see you, because of it.
2. Timing Is Rarely Perfect—Show Up Anyway
At twenty-four, I felt like life was passing me by. People I’d gone to college with were thriving in law school or running six-figure startups. Meanwhile, I was back in Charleston sharing a bathroom with my little cousin and staring into the marsh, wondering where I went wrong. It’s easy to believe the lie that everyone else has it figured out while you’re fumbling around, but trust me, nobody’s road is as straight as it looks from the outside.
That newspaper gig came when I least expected it and needed it most. It reminded me that timing isn’t about your schedule—it’s about opportunity meeting preparation. You don’t have to be “ready.” You just have to be willing to try.
Pro Tip: In dating and in life, don’t be so focused on your timeline that you miss the magic of the moment. Sometimes the best relationships (and career moves) show up when you’re least put-together but most open to receiving them.
3. Every Connection Is Worth Something
My grandparents always said, “You can’t pour sweet tea into a closed jar.” You won’t get far in life—or love—if you only surround yourself with people who look, think, and act the way you do. That call came because I connected with a stranger through my storytelling. From there, one connection led to another, and my world grew in ways I couldn’t predict sitting under that oak tree.
In relationships, the same principle applies. The people you meet along the way, who teach you about yourself, who challenge you, who inspire some spark of curiosity or wonder—they’re all stepping stones. Even if they don’t wind up part of your forever, the lessons might.
Pro Tip: Say “yes” more often, even if the connection feels unconventional or the timing seems off. Sometimes, the right person isn’t who—or when—you expect.
4. When Opportunity Comes Knocking, Answer (Even If You’re in Sweatpants)
I can’t tell you how many times I almost didn’t answer that call because I figured it was junk. How often in life do we ignore opportunities because they don’t look like we imagined? Maybe they come dressed in casual packaging or show up disguised as doubt or inconvenience.
But opportunity doesn’t owe you a pretty delivery. You owe it a response.
Pro Tip: In love and life, be present and open. Not every opportunity—or person—will be “the one,” but they all play a part in shaping your journey.
The Takeaway: Your Moment Is Coming
That call wasn’t just about a paycheck or a byline. It reminded me that my voice mattered, that even in a world of noise, there was space for my perspective. It set the stage for everything to come—the novels, the essays, the chance to make someone on the other side of the page feel seen.
So, here’s my advice—pick up the phone. Respond to the emails. Show up to the coffee date, the wedding plus-one invite, or the networking event that makes you a little nervous. You never know when the thing you’re waiting for is already waiting on you.
We all have that one call we’ll never forget. The next one could be yours. Will you answer?
