Let Me Overanalyze That
There are a couple of things you should know about me right off the bat: I believe a person’s playlist, pantry, and bookshelf say more about them than their zodiac sign ever could. Also, I’m a recovering over-thinker. When I say “recovering,” I mean there’s zero recovery happening—I’m waist-deep in spiraling thoughts and fully embracing it at this point.

You know when you meet someone, and they can instantly recall random trivia about the mating habits of octopuses or they’re obsessed with knitting sweaters for their dog? That’s their Thing, the quirky passion that gives them away immediately. Well, my Thing is analyzing… everything. Like Taylor Swift dissecting her own lyrics, just imagine that level of energy but directed at daily life, text messages, or why my cousin thinks Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift is peak cinema.

So, how does this tie into love, relationships, and me embracing my tendencies instead of hitting the brakes every time my brain takes a deep-dive into the Mariana Trench of perception? Let’s unpack that obsession, shall we?

Exhibit A: Reading Romantic Subtext into Everything

Back when I was 12, I asked my mom something as innocent as “Why did Papi stop bringing flowers home for Abuela?” In return, I got a whole novella about respect, gender roles, and how our family measures love through acts of service rather than words. Even as a kid, I was naturally dialed into the emotional dynamics around me.
Fast forward to now: put me in a room with people making lingering eye contact or brushing hands at the water cooler, and I turn into a telenovela scriptwriter overnight. Does he like her? Is she thinking about her ex? Are they secretly planning to start a sustainable farm together in Wyoming? Who knows—but I will overanalyze their body language until I think I do.

This obsession has taught me something important: everyone gives love differently, whether through loud gestures or quieter ones that whisper rather than shout. I've noticed this in relationships too—I had a boyfriend who once sat down with me to categorize our text messages into “Sweet,” “Logistics,” and “Only Funny to Us.” While I had already mentally ranked them six ways to Sunday, it became one of the most intimate expressions of connection I’ve ever experienced.

Why Overthinking Is My Party Trick

Have you ever sent a “LOL thanks” text and immediately feared it came off as cold? Yeah, that’s me times a thousand. But here’s where it gets wild: overanalyzing my own dating life has accidentally helped my friends with theirs.

Take my best friend Tiffany, who was worried about why her situationship of three months hadn’t introduced her to his friends yet. Cue our deep dive where I mapped the layers of his potential fears and roadblocks (commitment-phobic oldest son energy, anyone?) on a literal diagram. Turns out, the guy wasn’t unsure about her—he was just embarrassed that his friends had memorized every line of The Office and brought it up in awkward situations.

Overthinking with a touch of playfulness is the ultimate life hack. Think of it like the Rom-Com Spectator Sport: sometimes all the details swirling around your head remind you that people don’t have to be perfect, just perfectly human.

Lessons from the Hyper-Analyzed

The thing about analyzing everything is that it forces you to stay curious. Sure, I’ve almost given myself the mental equivalent of whiplash, running through scenarios about why that guy I went on two dates with called me “by accident” three weeks later. (For the record, there’s no such thing as an accidental call when you’ve saved someone as “Ileana Cute and Funny” in your contacts.) But I’ve discovered valuable insights along the way:

  1. Not All Breadcrumbs Are Clues: Just because someone says they might want to go to that salsa class with you next week doesn’t mean they’re interested long-term. Context matters, and tuning in without obsessively decoding allows you to stay in control of your expectations.

  2. People Are Never as Clear as They Think They Are: Accept it now—some folks will send mixed signals because they’re figuring themselves out too. (That thing your crush said about “taking it slow”? He’s either emotionally intelligent or afraid of his own feelings—or both.)

  3. Listen to Actions Over Words: The way someone shows up for you—whether it’s consistent communication or giving emotional support during a hard day—tells you far more than all their half-considered statements combined.

Taking Analysis down a Notch (Sometimes...)

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s to balance obsession with observation. Not everything has to mean something. Not every text requires a breakdown of its linguistic structure. Sometimes, that crush who didn’t text you back after two drinks at happy hour is just… bad at time management and not the soulmate your Spotify algorithm was hinting at.

I try to dial things back from Overthinker Olympics occasionally by:

  • Grounding Myself in Reality: Like Aaliyah said, “age ain't nothing but a number,” and overthinking ain't nothing but a thief of joy. Practice pausing, even if your brain is screaming to figure everything out right now.

  • Checking in with Loved Ones: Friends and family will call you out when you're being extra. My sister, who once stared me down for trying to rehearse our family group chat text aloud, has become my go-to “is it that serious?” reality check.

  • Letting People Be Their Messy Selves: Not to confuse this for excusing bad behavior, but sometimes people aren’t playing mysterious mind games—they’re just humans figuring it out day by day. And hey, so are you.

Obsessions Keep Life Interesting—Embrace Yours

At its core, analyzing the quirks of love and relationships isn't really about figuring out who said what or why. It’s about caring too much to settle for surface answers. Admittedly, my overanalyzing brain runs on caffeine and Taylor Swift-shaped metaphors, but it’s also the part of me that loves with a full heart, notices the cracks in facades, and celebrates the absurdity of two imperfect people trying to build something beautiful together.

So, the next time someone accuses you of being extra because you’re stuck wondering if your date’s casual outfit meant “I’m keeping it easy” or “I forgot it was Saturday,” remind them: overthinking isn’t a flaw—it’s a feature. Now, pass me my mental magnifying glass—I have a suspiciously vague emoji response to decode.