If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years of travel, it’s this: there’s no escaping yourself. Whether you’re wandering the stalls of a bustling Lagos market, squished into the chaos of a Brooklyn subway (let’s call that “domestic travel”), or losing yourself under London’s muted, romantic skies, somehow, you always end up encountering… you. It’s humbling, really—like getting to know someone you thought you already knew. I mean, who packs five different snacks for a two-hour bus ride? This guy. And yet, as much as travel reveals your quirks (and your snack hoarding tendencies), it also teaches you lessons you didn’t know you needed.

Here’s what exploring the world has taught me—and, just maybe, what it can teach you, too.

1. I’m Not as Patient as I Thought (But That’s Okay)

Picture this: you’re standing in line for jollof rice at a night market in Lagos. It’s hot, the queue is moving at snail speed, and everyone’s vibing like they have all the time in the world. Except your stomach is staging a rebellion. There’s only one problem: you’re not in Brooklyn anymore, where your New York pace gets you places. Here, time unfurls like molasses, teaching you to wait.

Was I the guy shuffling his feet and sighing dramatically? Yes. Did the chef notice and give me the stink eye? Also yes. But after a while, I got it: being in a rush while everyone else is taking their sweet time is a recipe for frustration. Sometimes, life (and rice) comes when it’s good and ready.

Takeaway? In relationships, too, there’s beauty in pacing yourself. Not everything needs to be on your timeline. Patience isn’t just waiting—it’s learning to exist in the in-between moments without rushing to the next.

2. Culture Shock Is Real, and It’s Glorious

When I spent a year studying in London, I walked into it thinking, “Same language, same vibes—what’s the big deal?” Oh, Malik. Sweet, naive Malik. Within two weeks, I’d been called “mate” by a complete stranger, learned that tea is both a drink and a spiritual experience, and found out the hard way that “pants” refer to underwear, not trousers. Spoiler: don’t compliment someone’s “nice pants” if you’re talking about their jeans.

Culture, I realized, isn’t just what’s in museums. It’s in slang, shared meals, and jokes that only make sense once you’ve spent a night in the pub trying to decode them. And once you stop resisting the differences, the world gets infinitely bigger (and funnier).

In the world of dating, culture shock happens too—whether you’re meeting someone from a different background, or just learning what “Netflix and chill” means to them (hint: ask clarifying questions). Lean into the awkwardness. That’s where connection grows.

3. Overpacking Is Self-Doubt in Disguise

Let me confess something: I used to be an over-packer. The kind of person who stuffed three too many books in a carry-on just in case inspiration struck, or packed “backup shoes” for a casual beach trip. By the time I lugged my suitcase up five flights of stairs in Amsterdam (note: a suitcase loses 80% of its charm when confronted with Dutch spiral staircases), I realized the truth. Overpacking was my way of saying, “I don’t trust myself to figure this out as I go.”

And isn’t that all too familiar in relationships? How often do we load ourselves with “what-ifs” and unnecessary baggage? What if I’m not funny enough, confident enough, enough-enough for this person? The thing is, love—like travel—is lighter when you trust yourself. You don’t need all the extras when you believe you’re equipped for the journey.

4. Getting Lost Can Be the Best Part

There’s a recurring scene in my life: me holding a map upside down, trying to navigate winding streets in a new city, then giving up entirely. The first time this happened in Rome, I panicked. But then, as I turned a corner, I stumbled onto a tiny piazza with a guy playing jazz on a saxophone. Turns out, I hadn’t “lost” the route—I’d just found a new story to tell.

It’s the same in our love lives. We freak out when things go off-script, whether it’s botching a text or realizing someone isn’t “The One.” But those detours? They sometimes lead to what we wouldn’t have found otherwise. A little uncertainty isn’t a bad thing. It’s an open door.

5. Home Is As Much a Feeling as It Is a Place

No matter where I’ve been—whether it’s Lagos, London, or lounging in the Hudson Valley for a weekend—I’ve always caught myself comparing it to Brooklyn. The way the sunlight feels after it bounces off brownstones, or how the air smells faintly like pizza no matter where you are. But I’ve also learned that home isn’t just geography. It’s where your spirit feels free.

In relationships, “home” works the same way. Building that safe, comforting place with someone doesn’t mean finding the perfect partner or nailing the perfect setup. It just means finding someone on whose couch you can collapse, laugh at nothing, and eat snacks in comfortable silence.

So, What’s Your Passport Telling You?

You don’t have to venture far to let travel teach you something new. Sometimes, it starts in your own backyard. (Looking at you, people who still haven’t made it to that museum ten minutes away.) But if you can step outside your comfort zone, something magical happens. You stop seeing change as a threat and start treating it as a conversation—a chance to check in with yourself, and maybe get to know someone else a little better, too.

Be curious. Lose yourself. And if you get nothing else from this: pack fewer shoes.