It was junior year of high school, and I thought I had my life figured out. I’d ace my AP classes, land a full ride to some prestigious university, and gracefully escape the sweaty chaos of Little Havana. Ambitious? Yes. Realistic? Not at all. Then came Camila—a transfer student with the brightest smile I’d ever seen and the kind of confidence that sucked the air out of a room (in a good way). She sat next to me in Honors English, introduced herself with a chirpy “Hi, I’m Camila, and you’re going to want to study with me,” and just like that, she changed my life.
Before Camila, my social circle resembled your standard cafeteria “nerd table” from a cliché teen movie. But she was different. Sure, she could crush a calculus test without a sweat, but she wasn’t afraid to take up space or call out the teacher on their outdated syllabus. Camila was the firecracker I didn’t know I needed, and she taught me lessons I still carry to this day—lessons about friendship, self-worth, and, surprisingly, love.
Lesson 1: You’re Not Asking for Too Much
One afternoon, over pastelitos and way-too-sweet Cuban coffee at her abuela’s kitchen table, I vented about my latest crush. He was cute in that “guy who always borrows your notes in class” way, and I’d convinced myself that my feelings were an imposition. At one point, I blurted out, “What if I’m asking for too much?”
Camila’s response? A pointed look and an epic monologue I’ll summarize for you in one spicy sentence: “Girl, you’re bringing the whole lechón to the table; if he can’t even offer you congrí, he’s not worth your time.”
Her logic hit hard and fast. Why shrink yourself to fit into spaces where you’re already over-delivering? This was the energy of Bad Bunny blasting through a speaker at full blast—unapologetic, bold, entirely necessary. Camila’s words became my mantra for dating, friendships, and, honestly, choosing where to eat when I’m indecisive (hint: it’s wherever I want).
Lesson 2: Every Great Love Starts With Self-Love
Camila lived as if she were Beyoncé in her own world tour, and her secret? Self-love without apology. For a while, I thought she was just naturally magnetic—you know, the kind of person whose Instagram captions you’d double-tap on impulse. But I came to realize her glow wasn’t just about good lighting or 17-year-old charisma. It was her unapologetic belief that she deserved good things.
The confidence was contagious, and it made me question my own lack of it. Sure, I could write a killer essay on Gabriel García Márquez, but could I walk into a room and own it? Absolutely not. So, under her guidance, I made a list. Simple stuff at first: “Treat myself to a solo movie night,” “Stop apologizing for no reason,” “Say no to plans that drain me.” It felt weird at first, but eventually, even I started to believe I was the main character.
To this day, whenever I catch myself spiraling into self-doubt, I hear Camila’s voice in my head: “Would you treat your best friend that way? Then why do it to yourself?” If that’s not the kind of pep talk you’d want canned and sold, I don’t know what is.
Lesson 3: Speak Up—Your Voice Matters
Camila was the loudest advocate for what she liked to call “radical honesty.” This was not the kind of honesty rooted in savagery or those “I’m just blunt” people who excuse being rude. No, hers came from a place of care, like when she called me out for taking on too much. “You’re not Wonder Woman, Isabela. Pareces una loca running yourself into the ground for other people.”
She encouraged me to stop bottling up my needs and feelings, whether they involved a teacher who misgraded a test or a guy who hadn’t texted me back in three days. To Camila, silence was a disservice to yourself and everyone around you. It wasn’t about being abrasive; it was about valuing yourself enough to stand firm in your truth.
Her advice came full circle years later when I entered the rocky world of adult romantic relationships. Because of Camila, I learned to advocate for myself—whether it meant communicating boundaries, stating my needs clearly, or, yes, breaking things off when something didn’t feel right. A solid relationship, after all, starts with mutual respect and clarity—and you can’t have either if you’re too afraid to speak up.
Lesson 4: The Best Friendships Aren’t Always Perfect
Let’s be real—Camila and I fought. We argued over everything from homework priorities (she was a last-minute genius; I was an early-starter perfectionist) to what Reggaeton song deserved DJ status at our gatherings. One summer, after I flaked on our plans to spend more time with a then-boyfriend, Camila let me have it.
“You’re my best friend, not my backup plan,” she said, firmly but kindly. That moment taught me more about friendships than any welcome speech at orientation ever could: relationships of any kind require effort from both sides. I apologized with a heartfelt note and a promise to do better, and she forgave me without resentment, setting the tone for how to navigate hurt in a healthy way.
To this day, our disagreements (we still text constantly) remind me that great relationships, whether platonic or romantic, thrive on communication and accountability. No friendship worth keeping folds at the first sight of trouble.
Lesson 5: Love Can Come From Unexpected Places
Before Camila, I thought soulmates were strictly romantic—a plotline straight out of a Nora Ephron movie. But she showed me that some of the most transformative connections are the friendships that plop themselves into your life like unexpected guests, demand a cafecito, and stick around forever.
Her influence ripples far beyond our high school years. She’s the one who convinced me to study journalism instead of biology, who cheered me on as I interned in New York City, who called me out (with love) for choosing the wrong people to date. Camila’s friendship taught me how to be braver, kinder, and stronger. And isn’t that what true love does?
The Takeaway
There’s a saying in Spanish, “Un clavo saca otro clavo,” which loosely translates to “One nail drives out another.” It’s often used after breakups, but I like to think of it in terms of growth. Sometimes, a person enters your life and challenges you to uproot the insecurities, bad habits, and self-limiting beliefs that keep you small. For me, that person was Camila.
So here’s my advice: when you find your “Camila,” hold onto them tightly. Nurture that bond. Whether it’s an old friend from school or someone you met scrolling TikTok, friendships have this way of reminding us who we are when we need it most. As for love? It’ll come. And when it does, you’ll recognize it. After all, if you can build something as solid as my friendship with Camila, you’ve already got this whole connection thing figured out.
So raise a pastelito to transformative friendships. And remember: you deserve nothing less than the congrí.
