From Swiping Right to Getting It Right: Elevating Your Dating Profile Game

Have you ever felt like creating a good online dating profile is the digital equivalent of curating the perfect lobster roll? (Bear with me; I’m a Maine girl—everything leads back to seafood.) Too few ingredients and it’s bland; too many, and it’s overwhelming. The key? Balance. You don’t have to be extraordinary—just your most authentic, put-together self. But hey, how does one go from ordinary to extraordinary in the world of right swipes, awkward first messages, and profile pics?

Here's what I’ve learned—spoiler alert, it’s not much different from hosting a classic New England clam bake: effort, charm, and a dash of personality always win them over. Let’s dissect the perfect recipe.

Start with the "You" that You Love (Even Just a Little)

Ever spent an afternoon polishing brass on a sailboat because it’s part of the experience? That’s kind of like what a dating profile is—it’s not about reinventing yourself, just making sure you shine. We all have those lovely, brass-like qualities hiding behind a little tarnish. Reflect on what you enjoy about yourself, not just what others might want to see.

Your bio is your introduction (and no, “I’m just here for the pizza” doesn’t count, no matter how much we all love a good slice). Lead with personality and purpose, focusing on traits that make you, well, YOU. Are you the type who dies on the hill of playing Monopoly by the rules? Say that! Your quirks are endearing—trust me, they’re what saved me from being a person in a profile lineup and made me me.

Practical “brass-polishing” tips:
- Pick three adjectives that feel like you: Adventurous, thoughtful, cat-obsessed? Awesome. Use them.
- Show, don’t tell. Instead of “I’m funny,” say, “My secret weapon in Cards Against Humanity is a deep understanding of obscure history jokes.” People remember the specifics.
- Avoid fillers like “I love to laugh” or “Looking for my other half.” Seriously, who doesn’t love to laugh? Or pizza? Or naps?

Photos Speak Louder Than Words (But Pick Wisely)

Listen, as much as we all love to romanticize the idea that who we are on the inside matters most—and it does!—your photos are a key part of that “Hi, my name is” moment. Think of it as outfitting yourself for the right occasion. No one wears sailing whites to a lobster bake.

Your photo lineup should tell a story, just as much as that bio does. You’re not creating an art installation, folks—you’re curating a vibe. The key is to avoid the red flags (bad lighting, bathroom selfies, heavy filters) while striving for approachability and authenticity.

Here's how to navigate like a pro:
- The Smile is Non-Negotiable: It’s the dating-profile version of putting your best lobster claw forward. People want to see your energy!
- A Little Variety Goes a Long Way: Include one clear close-up, one full-body pic (because the mystery-foot thing only works for Carrie Bradshaw), and one “in your element” shot—whether that’s hiking a mountain or making the best chowder of your life.
- Skip the Group Shots: Nothing makes me feel like I’m solving a Sherlock Holmes mystery faster than figuring out which one you are from six vaguely similar people in sunglasses.

And if you include a fish-holding photo, well… I’m obligated to ask, “Why not hold up something unique, like a handmade buoy?” It’s both niche and distinctly more interesting—trust me.

Get Playful, But Keep it Respectful

You’re here to meet other humans—flaws, quirks, and all. Resist the temptation to curate some impossibly polished version of yourself. (I tried being the “serene coastal queen” once—turns out, I’m the “drops-sunscreen-in-the-ocean type,” and honestly, that’s better.)

There’s joy in flirting and banter, but take a page from New England small towns: kindness matters. Start by addressing the reader directly in your profile instead of presenting an abstract slideshow of traits. You’re building a connection, not updating your LinkedIn bio.

Some “do’s” and “don’ts” for your profile:
- DO use humor if that’s your strong suit. Share a quick, playful insight into your life—“I once tried kayaking backwards and didn’t notice for half a mile” sums up confidence and humility in one go.
- DON’T rely solely on sarcasm or self-deprecation. No one wants to feel like their next match doesn’t even like themselves.
- DO hint at the kind of connection you're looking for: “I love someone who can debate whether chocolate chip pancakes are a breakfast food or dessert.”
- DON’T focus on a checklist of what you don’t want. It’s like walking into a dinner party and complaining about the appetizers.

Craft Messages That Don’t Make Us All Cringe

Here’s the thing about first messages: they’re like opening lines in a jazz-era dinner conversation. Keep them light, a little flirty, and memorable for the right reasons. Would Edith Wharton start a letter with “Hey, what’s up?” If you wouldn’t say it to someone roaming Kennebunkport’s charming bookshop aisles, don’t say it here either.

Instead of the usual one-liners that feel like leftovers reheated too many times, ask a thoughtful question or make an observation. Did they mention their love of '80s music? “Would you go with Springsteen or Whitney for your road trip playlist?” See a love of baking in their profile? “Be honest, are you team blueberry scone or cranberry-orange?”

It’s engaging and thoughtful—but more importantly, it’s uniquely about THEM.

Channel Your Inner Lighthouse: Confident, but Not Blinding

Much like the lighthouses dotting Maine’s coastline, a strong dating profile should quietly but unwaveringly lead others toward your best self. Don’t dive headfirst into the deeper currents too quickly, but don’t overthink it either. The charm of building relationships is that real connection is rarely flawless—it’s the grit of the journey that makes it beautiful.

Even if you mess up here or there (because you will), cut yourself some slack. I’ve spent first dates talking at length about the history of clam chowder because, well, nerves happen. Be fully and proudly human, and you’ll attract people who value that.

From Humble Beginnings to Epic Connections

Creating a dating profile isn’t about exaggerating your most extraordinary moments—it's about grounding them in the endearing, everyday truths of who you are. And remember, no one gets it perfect right out of the gate—but that’s the beauty of navigating this modern love story. You figure it out, one flirtatious message at a time.

So, what’s your extraordinary? Is it tending to succulents, binge-watching classic rom-coms, or reading every maritime mystery ever written? Whatever it is, put it out there. After all, the more honest, playful, and real you are, the more you'll attract someone who's exactly right for your unique brand of extraordinary.

Ready to row this dating skiff into the open waters? Grab your sunscreen—the Atlantic breeze waits for no one.