“Change is hard,” my mom used to say while tuning her piano or ironing stage outfits for my dad’s band gigs. “But it sure beats staying stuck.” I didn’t appreciate the wisdom back then—who does when they’re 12 and convinced they’ve already got it all figured out? But now, as an adult who’s reinvented herself more times than I ever expected, I realize how much she had it right. Change is messy. It’s gutting and scary, like stepping onto a stage and forgetting your lines. But it’s also where you grow, where the magic happens, and where a second act can steal the show.

We all hit moments where we feel out of tune. Maybe life suddenly throws you a curveball, or maybe it’s a slower, internal hum—a suspicion that something isn’t working anymore. The good news? You’re holding the pen to rewrite your story. Reinvention doesn’t have to mean packing your bags and starting over in another country (though props if that’s your style). Sometimes, it’s about small, deliberate steps toward becoming the you that you’ve been too scared to meet just yet. Here’s what I’ve learned about transforming yourself when the melody of your life needs a fresh key change.

The Breakup Haircut—and Other First Steps

Everyone’s heard of the breakup haircut. You go through a big split, march into a salon, and ask for bangs, a pixie cut, or a bleach-blonde transformation à la Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride. Why? Because there’s something deeply satisfying about looking in the mirror and seeing undeniable proof that you’re not the same person who got dumped—or fired, or ghosted, or whatever sent you spiraling.

It’s tempting to laugh this off as cliché, but here’s the thing: reinvention works best with a visible starting point. It anchors you in the process and acts as a commitment to change. For me, it was dyeing my hair a fiery copper-red after leaving my college a cappella group (long story for another day). For one of my best friends, it was donating half her closet to Goodwill when she realized she didn’t need to dress like someone else to be loved.

Don’t underestimate the power of physical shifts:

  • Declutter your space. Marie Kondo wasn’t lying—tidying up leaves room for new energy to flow in.
  • Get out of your comfort zone with your personal style. Try a bold lip color or trade your worn-out boots for something funky and fresh.
  • Rearrange your furniture. A new layout can spark new ideas in ways you’d never expect (I wrote my first novel after moving my desk to face a window).

These small changes signal to yourself, “I’m ready to see things differently.” It’s not just about looking new; it’s about feeling new.

Shake the Dust Off Your Story

Here’s a hard truth: For a long time, I lived as if I were background noise in my own life. Growing up in a household where everyone was performing—literally—there were times I shrank myself down, feeling too small to contribute my own verse. It wasn’t until I sat down to write my first song with a local guitarist that I realized something important: our stories matter most when we give them breath.

Reinvention doesn’t mean burying your past. It means dusting it off, picking up the pieces that serve you, and setting fire to the parts that don’t.

Ask yourself:
- What are the parts of my story that I’m still clinging to out of fear? Maybe it’s that job that pays the bills but makes you miserable, or the friendship that feels more obligatory than nourishing.
- What sparks joy, curiosity, or excitement? To borrow Marie Kondo’s catchphrase, not everything in your life needs to stay. The toughest, gutsiest part of reinvention is having the nerve to let go.

Take it from someone who’s rewritten a chapter or two herself: once you let the unnecessary fall away, you’ll be amazed at what you have room for.

From “What If” to “Why Not”

During college, I spent a semester in London, convinced I’d hate being away from my home base in Nashville. Spoiler alert: I didn’t hate it—at all. In fact, those few months gave me the guts to try things I’d always been too afraid to attempt back home. Solo trips to museums? Check. Sipping a Guinness at a pub that looked straight out of Sherlock Holmes? Yep. Talking to complete strangers because, frankly, there was no one else around to help me figure out which Tube stop to take? You bet.

While reinvention often comes with uncertainty, it’s as much about saying “Why not?” as it is about saying “no” to the old. Try on something new just for the sake of it. Even if it flops, you’re learning something about yourself in the process:

  • Sign up for that improv workshop or pottery class you’ve been eyeing.
  • Take a day trip somewhere you’ve never been, even if it’s only two hours away.
  • Start a project you’ve always wanted to explore—blogging, songwriting, cross-stitching, whatever speaks to you.

The secret to reinvention? You don’t have to nail it right out of the gate. You just have to try.

Romanticizing Reinvention

You ever watch those montages in a rom-com where the protagonist undergoes a total glow-up? Cue the upbeat pop song, the shopping spree, the triumphant haircut moment. The storyline always wraps it up in three minutes flat, but the truth behind reinvention is that it’s often slow and nonlinear. And that’s okay.

When I first started writing my novel, it wasn’t some bolt of inspiration that kept me going—it was the small, repetitive habit of showing up to my laptop every morning (okay, most mornings). Reinvention looks less like Legally Blonde’s Elle Woods sashaying into Harvard and more like the behind-the-scenes grind of studying for the LSAT while also dodging judgmental exes.

So yes, romanticize your reinvention journey—light a candle, play your soundtrack, and own the montage moments when they come. But also embrace the unglamorous, unfiltered parts: the frustrations over starting something new, the missteps, the boring days of just putting one foot in front of the other. Those are what shape the new you.

Your Next Chapter Is Calling

If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that reinvention isn’t about becoming someone entirely new—it’s about stepping into who you already are, without apology. Whether you’re breaking free from a chapter that felt like someone else’s story or diving headfirst into uncharted waters, trust me when I say this: you are capable of being the author of your life.

My mom’s advice about change being hard still rings true. But so does the part where she reminded me it’s worth it. Rewrite your story. Belt out a new tune. Trust in the beauty of second chances (and third, and fourth—you get where I’m going with this). Because the real magic in life doesn’t come from staying in the same place. It comes from finding new ways to move forward—with heart, grit, and maybe a fresh set of highlights.

So what’s next for you? That’s entirely up to you—but I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be pretty spectacular.