Cue the Music: Setting My Life to a Playlist

There’s a quote I love that says, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” I’d like to add one thing: learning to dance in the rain to the right soundtrack. Because if there’s anything I’m certain of, it’s that music is the closest thing we have to a time machine. One second, you’re in 2023 swiping madly through a food delivery app. The next, Whitney Houston is belting out “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” and you’re 16 again, hopelessly crushing on that boy who couldn’t quite commit to asking you to prom. Life can be messy, unpredictable, and just plain absurd—but when there’s a good song playing in the background, it feels like a beautiful, cinematic mess.

When I think of my life, I don’t remember it in chapters or bullet points. I remember it in songs. I remember how Aretha Franklin’s voice helped me survive heartbreak, how Beyoncé made me feel unstoppable when insecurities crept in, and how smooth jazz used to echo through my parents’ house on Sunday mornings, signaling pancakes and endless possibilities.

So, let me take you on a little tour through my personal playlist—the songs that have played backup to my joys, heartbreaks, and all the big and small moments in between. Think of this as a love letter to life, soundtracked by some absolute bangers.

1. "Respect" by Aretha Franklin
The Soundtrack of Strength

Long before I knew what “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” really meant, Aretha’s voice was a permanent fixture in my home growing up. My mom, a corporate attorney whose daily wardrobe seemed to consist solely of sleek blazers, taught me early on that respect isn’t optional—it’s mandatory. Aretha backed her up on that.

I carry that lesson with me to this day, especially in my relationships. Knowing your worth isn’t about grand declarations or walking away when someone doesn’t text you back (although you should walk away). It’s in the little things: making sure your needs are heard, your boundaries are respected, and your value is understood.

When you want to feel powerful—like you could conquer the world and navigate Thanksgiving at your partner’s house without picking a fight over canned cranberry sauce—this is the tune. Aretha doesn’t just sing it; she preaches it.

2. "Sade’s Greatest Hits"
The Soundtrack of Softness

If you’ve ever experienced a long-distance relationship, you probably know this one. Picture yourself staring out the window at 2 a.m., a little tipsy after your friend’s engagement party because they served way too much champagne and you’re officially the last single person in your friend group—but in a chic way (obviously).

Sade is for those moments when the ache of longing feels so real, it practically has a chair at the dinner table. Her songs wrap themselves around you like satin sheets, whispering, “It’s okay to feel this deeply.” Tracks like “By Your Side” and “Your Love is King” remind me that vulnerability isn’t a weakness. It’s the secret weapon of intimacy.

As someone who went through the ups and downs of a three-year semi-long-distance relationship during grad school, I know the kind of emotional whiplash love brings. Sade captured that better than anyone. At the heart of all my big romantic gestures and teary airport reunions was her voice, steady and smooth like a glass of Bordeaux at sunset.

3. "Formation" by Beyoncé
The Soundtrack of Boss Energy

You cannot lose with Beyoncé. Period. And when my confidence dips—when I’m tempted to compare myself to that seemingly perfect couple on Instagram who probably spends three hours a week arguing over how to load a dishwasher—it’s “Formation” that gets me back on track.

Let me take you back to when I first heard this masterpiece of self-assurance. I was 28, newly single, and deep into the emotional excavation process that comes after a breakup so messy, it could inspire a Lifetime movie. I needed something to remind me who I was—a Howard girl with Texas roots, working hard and dreaming big. Enter Beyoncé.

Ladies and gentlemen, no song has a more hypnotic pull when you’re standing in front of your mirror, hyping yourself up before a first date or a big presentation. “I slay,” you’ll chant to yourself—and you will believe it.

4. "Golden" by Jill Scott
The Soundtrack of Soulful Self-Love

We talk a lot about loving other people, but what about the sweet experience of falling in love with yourself? For me, Jill Scott’s “Golden” is that self-love anthem. It’s the reminder I didn’t know I needed in my 20s, when I was much more concerned with being liked by the wrong people than truly liking myself.

Now, in my 30s, the lyrics hit differently. “I’m taking my freedom, putting it in my stroll.” Isn’t that what we all deserve—a little freedom in our step? Jill’s voice feels like a sunlit kitchen on a Saturday morning, when you’re still in pajamas and have nowhere to be. It’s joy without apology. It’s confidence without pretense.

This track is my everyday theme song—whether I’m writing, volunteering, or just sitting on my porch with a cup of tea, appreciating all the little wins. Jill reminds me that happiness starts with gratitude and a willingness to pour into yourself. And honestly, who couldn’t use more of that?

5. That "Mix CD He Made You in 2008..."
The Soundtrack of Nostalgia

Picture this: It’s 2008. You’re in college. And someone (who may or may not have been sporting baggy jeans and always smelled vaguely of Axe body spray) puts together a mix CD for you. Were you in love? Of course you were—and the CD had all the classics to prove it. A little Mario, some Usher, even a misguided Chris Brown track before life taught us better.

Now, I’d be lying if I said I pull that CD out to listen to often. But you know what? Sometimes, when I’m in a nostalgic mood—or three margaritas deep—it resurfaces. That mix isn’t just a collection of songs; it’s a time capsule. It reminds me of who I was back then—quirky, idealistic, slightly naïve, but full of hope for my future.

And isn’t that the power of music? To remind us how far we’ve come, and more importantly, how much goodness still lies ahead?

Final Thoughts: What’s on Your Soundtrack?

As I sit here writing this, I realize my playlist is still unfinished. Maybe that’s the beauty of life—it’s an ever-evolving mixtape, and every chapter adds something new. So, here’s my advice: Make your own soundtrack. Curate songs for the highs, lows, and all the messy moments in between. Experiment with genres. Rediscover some old favorites.

Because at the end of the day, life is a lot like dancing—it’s awkward, unpredictable, and occasionally makes you want to lie on the floor and dramatically proclaim your suffering like a 2000s pop diva. But throw on the perfect track, and suddenly, even the heartbreaks feel cinematic.

So, grab your headphones, hit play, and let the music carry you. You’re always one good song away from feeling like the main character again.