It was a Wednesday when my editor called with a curveball idea for a story. "We need something... unconventional," she said. "Push boundaries. Get weird. Bring back something our readers can't stop talking about." Now, I have a tendency to take things literally. So when she said “weird,” I thought, "How weird are we talking? Because I can do weird." I just didn’t anticipate that this assignment would end with me chasing love advice under the blazing Arizona sun—in a full cowboy ensemble—while fake-proposing to a cactus. Yes, a cactus.

But let’s back up.

The Setup: When "Going the Extra Mile" Turns into Running a Marathon

The topic was simple enough: unconventional relationship advice in the age of reinvention. My angle? Learning about love and connection from... the desert. After all, I grew up surrounded by the vast and enigmatic terrain of the Sonoran. The desert isn’t just scenery; it’s a metaphor for life and relationships if you take the time to notice. Plus, writing about the connections between barren landscapes and human intimacy? That’s peak “quirky writer” fodder.

But research required immersion. So, in a fit of over-commitment (as one does), I borrowed a cowboy hat, boots, and a bolo tie, loaded the trunk with snacks, and drove into the middle of nowhere to feel something.

Pro tip: Do not do this in July.

The Field Research: Cactus Counseling 101

It’s surprising how many questions about love you can project onto a cactus. Not because cacti are fountains of wisdom—obviously—but because they force you to confront patience, resilience, and your own scattered thoughts when overshadowed by the immensity of nature.

For example: Have you ever stood six feet from a saguaro and thought, "Why am I so fascinated by relationships that are slow to grow but last forever?” Because that’s what I thought. Saguaros take decades to sprout their first arms, standing tall against brutal conditions in solo splendor most of their lives. If that’s not a metaphor for dating—taking your time to grow, weathering early heartbreaks, and still standing tall—I don’t know what is.

They’re also painful. Don’t lean too close, or you’ll feel it. Enough said.

But this is where I made an unfortunate decision: I thought it’d be funny to stage a “marriage proposal” to a cactus. Kind of a cheeky take on “commitment to yourself.” But as I knelt to get the shot, my boot slid on some loose gravel, and I came this close to face-planting into those infamous needles. Talk about love making you work for it.

The Human Connection: Lessons from Cowboy Cosplay

After my near-death cactus encounter, I packed up and desperately sought AC. Enter: a rural desert bar on the edge of civilization. With sweat streaming down my back and my boots clicking across the worn wooden floor, I must have looked like a man whose horse had just left him for a better rider. I was too drained to care.

That’s when I met Ted and Sandra—or “Sandy,” as she insisted—with a weathered charm that could only come from fifty years together. Though unintentional, I must’ve looked desperate enough for help, because they insisted I sit with them.

Ted, leathery and practical, had advice that sounded straight from the frontier: “Pick the person you want on your team when the wagon breaks.” Sandra, more poetic, said, “Find someone who loves your weirdness as much as their own.” I don’t know if it was the heatstroke, the pocket of peanuts I’d inhaled on the drive, or their plainspoken wisdom—but it struck me like a pop-country ballad. Life’s too short to be anything but unapologetically yourself. (Boots optional.)

The Takeaways: Love Lessons from the Desert

That day might’ve ended with me hilariously out of place, trying to explain my cactus-induced epiphanies to my editor. ("No, seriously, the desert gets us.") But what I took home wasn’t just heat rash and a close call with prickles—it was genuine, big-hearted lessons that truly stuck:

  • Grow Slow, Love Big: Saguaros don’t rush, so why should you? The best connections take time, whether it’s building trust or waiting for someone to grow into the best version of themselves. The desert reminds us not to rush love. It's a marathon, not a sprint, folks.

  • Survive the Heat Together: Sure, the desert is gorgeous during golden hour, but it tests your patience when the sun’s high. Relationships can feel like this—beautiful one day, sweltering the next. Do you have the endurance to appreciate both?

  • Choose the Right Partner for the Journey: Whether it’s Ted, Sandra, or your own personal cowboy fantasy-life coach, the people you surround yourself with will make or break your story. Trust the ones who’ll keep you grounded when things heat up.

  • Celebrate Your Weird: If you’re going to fake-marry a cactus, go all in. In love or life, leaning into your quirks makes the right people stick around. Connection only works when you’re authentically yourself.

Final Thoughts: From Cowboy Boots to Cactus Commiseration

After regaling my editor with tales of my poorly executed “engagement” to desert vegetation, she laughed and said, “Nate, no one else would think of that as a love story—but somehow it works.” And isn’t that how relationships feel sometimes? A weird, messy, beautiful experiment where you stumble, scratch yourself on the occasional needle (physically or emotionally), and end up with stories you never expected.

Because in the end, love thrives in unlikely places: a rural desert bar, a quirky metaphor involving succulents, or even the dusty middle of nowhere where all you have are stars overhead and the guts to keep showing up, boots on or off. So here's my advice: get weird, stay true, and maybe—just maybe—propose to the cactus in your life.

You won’t regret it. (But you might get some funny looks.)