The First Time I Felt Joy Doing This

The Sudden Burst of Joy on a Rainy Chicago Afternoon

It was one of those Chicago mornings where the sky looked like it hadn’t had coffee yet. Slate gray, oppressive, and just damp enough to make you regret your shoe choices. I was standing in front of a room full of teenagers at a community center not too far from Jackson Park, fumbling my way through an opening line for the creative writing workshop I’d been voluntold to lead. These were kids who’d already mastered the art of “cut right through the nonsense,” the kind of students who could smell insecurity like bacon in the air, and they weren’t about to let me live down a single misstep.

My plan was to have them write about the neighborhoods they grew up in: What did they feel like? Sound like? Smell like? I wasn’t sure it would land, but sometimes you’ve just got to toss an idea in the pot and hope it simmers. I started sharing my own example, describing the way my block used to smell like rain-soaked pavement and someone’s burnt toast every morning. That’s when it happened: their eyes started to light up. One by one, these kids who walked in like they’d rather be anywhere else started laughing, nodding, and snapping their fingers in that quiet way people in Chicago do when they’re feeling what you’re saying.

There it was, hiding in plain sight—the joy. Not because I said something profound, but because this group of young people trusted me and, for the first time, started to trust themselves. By the time the workshop ended, my cheeks actually hurt from grinning. I didn’t have the words for it at the time, but looking back, that was the moment I realized what I was made to do: tell stories and help other people tell theirs.

Why Finding Joy in Your Passion Feels Like Falling in Love

Here’s the thing about discovering your passion: It sneaks up on you the way Chicago potholes sneak up on your car. One minute you’re coasting along thinking, “This is fine,” and the next, you’re jolted awake, seeing life differently.

In that creative writing workshop, I felt a small but powerful shift. It wasn’t just about me sharing my stories—it was about creating space for someone else to do the same. That moment captured the same dizzy, heady excitement you feel on a great first date—the kind where you both accidentally order the exact same meal and spend two hours discovering things about each other you didn’t even know you wanted to share.

Real joy doesn’t come from perfection or applause. It comes from connection. Sure, none of those kids wrote the next The Bluest Eye that day, but each of their small stories—about the corner store auntie who yelled at everyone, the smell of their dad’s cologne, or how their block used to sound when the ice-cream truck rolled by—had something real in it.

How to Recognize Your Joy (Even If It’s Wearing Gym Clothes)

Let’s be honest: there’s this unhelpful myth that life-changing moments come with a fireworks display or backing vocals from Beyoncé. The truth? Joy rarely makes a dramatic entrance. More often, it shows up like the friend who promises to be low-key for brunch but steals fries off your plate and makes everyone laugh until you cry. It’s subtle but unforgettable.

Here are a few signs you’re in the presence of real joy:

  • You Forget to Check the Clock. When that workshop ended, it felt like five minutes had passed, even though we’d gone over by twenty. Joy has a funny way of suspending time.
  • You’re Terrified, but You Do It Anyway. Trust me when I say I was scared straight-through-the-soul showing up for that workshop. But sometimes, joy lives on the other side of fear.
  • You Talk About It in Ridiculous Detail Later. Later that night, I went on and on to my best friend about everything—from the kid who refused to pick up a pencil to the one who quoted Kendrick Lamar like a prophet. If you can’t shut up about it, it’s worth paying attention to.

What Your Passion Brings to Your Relationships

Here’s where we tie it back to love, connection, and why any of this matters in a world full of Hinge profiles and awkward coffee dates: Knowing what brings you joy—what sets your soul on fire—changes how you love.

When you’re tapped into your passion, you show up better for the people around you. Think about it: happy people are magnetic. They laugh easier, listen better, and bring out the best in others. Passion gives you confidence—and confidence? Confidence is like seasoning salt: it makes everything better.

Whether you’re in the early stages of a relationship or rediscovering yourself after years with the same partner, sharing what lights you up is one of the deepest ways to connect. Imagine talking about the thing that makes you so unapologetically you, and someone across the table looks at you like you’ve just handed them a rare gem. That’s the kind of energy that builds lasting bonds.

How to Find Your Own Moment of Joy

If you’re still wondering how to find that moment for yourself, here’s my advice: Start small. I know, I know—it’s not flashy advice, but hear me out. Passion doesn’t always arrive as a neon sign. Sometimes, it’s a whisper.

Try these steps:

  1. Say Yes to New Things. The only reason I ended up leading that first workshop was because someone else flaked, and a friend asked if I’d step in. I said yes out of guilt, but I left with a new sense of purpose.

  2. Follow the Bread Crumbs. I’d always loved writing, but I never saw myself as a teacher. I followed the thread that connected my skills to the opportunity, and that’s where my joy was hiding.

  3. Forget “Perfect.” The kids at that workshop didn’t need me to be Gwendolyn Brooks reincarnated—they just needed me to show up as myself. When it comes to your passion, perfection is overrated.

The Joy Is Already Hidden Inside You

In the years since that rainy afternoon, I’ve taught dozens of workshops, written articles like this one, and even published two novels. But nothing compares to that first burst of joy when I realized the power of helping people find their voice. The thing about joy is that it expands. Once you find it, you can’t help but share it, and in sharing it, you make room for more of it to show up.

So, whether you’re still searching for your passion or you’ve already found it but feel shy about saying it out loud, remember this: Joy doesn’t demand that you come fully prepared. It meets you where you are. And who knows? It might even arrive on a rainy Chicago morning, hiding inside a story you didn’t know you were meant to tell.