“Sometimes I think Austin raised me as much as my parents did,” I say this often—half-joking, half-serious—when I’m asked about my love affair with my hometown. Growing up in East Austin in the ‘90s, I watched a city with a famous “weird” streak grow into a tech hub that sometimes feels like it’s trying too hard to impress Silicon Valley at a party. But underneath all the cranes and condos, the real Austin still hums: the backyard band jams, the breakfast tacos on a Saturday morning, the feeling that this city really gets you... even if it’s gone through some identity crises along the way. Much like the relationships we stumble through to find out who we really are.
A Love Affair Built on Firsts
The thing about Austin is that it teaches you a lot about falling in love because it’s constantly hitting you with firsts: your first ACL (Austin City Limits) festival, where you somehow lose one Birkenstock in a sea of music lovers; your first heartbreak, crying over margaritas on a barstool at Polvos on South 1st; your first realization that you can’t survive solely on queso, even though you’ve tried. That last one is the breakup I’ve never quite recovered from.
Growing up here felt like a series of mini relationships with the city itself. When I was a kid, Austin was the teacher who encouraged my creativity, with its funky murals and endless supply of park trails to get lost in. In college, Austin turned into that charismatic friend who’s always down for late-night barbecue or an impromptu dive bar crawl. And now, as an adult, Austin is like the long-term partner who celebrates my successes and sits with me through my struggles—even those awkward moments when I accidentally wear cowboy boots to the wrong kind of party (remember when we thought that was cute?).
Austin, the Great Matchmaker
Austin isn’t just a place to live—it’s a place to connect. Picture my family dinner table growing up, where the menu was discussions on social justice served with a side of enchiladas. It’s no coincidence that the backdrop to my upbringing—this city bursting with creativity and civic engagement—fueled my interest in seeing the world through a lens of connection.
In Austin, the people you meet will charm and surprise you. Sometimes it’s through a bumper sticker that reads, “Keep Austin Weird,” stuck onto a 20-year-old Prius parked outside an artisan coffee shop where you just had a life-affirming conversation with a stranger. Or maybe it’s a romantic meet-cute at the farmer’s market in Mueller, where someone shyly offers to split a locally grown honeycomb with you. This city is the kind of place where you meet people by just being here, no algorithms required.
But Austin also taught me that not every interaction is meant for forever. Just like a first date gone awry, I’ve had fleeting relationships with parts of Austin that ultimately weren’t for me—like that six-month phase I convinced myself I was into Whole30 meal prepping. (Spoiler: this city is too full of brisket and kolaches for that nonsense.)
The Roots of Real Connection
As I grew older, the lessons Austin taught became deeper. My nonprofit work opened my eyes to neighborhoods that didn’t always have the loudest voice in the city’s story. Showing up for others and creating equitable opportunities—especially through arts and education—made me rethink what it really means to feel “at home.” Is it about where you are, or the communities you build?
Turns out, it’s both. A sense of place isn’t just geography; it’s where your values live. Austin inspired me to embrace those overlaps: sitting at the messy intersections of gentrification and culture, savoring the sweet and the complicated. I suppose Austin kind of reminds me of a long-term relationship in that way. It’s messy and imperfect, but the work is worth it.
And let’s not forget the very real proximity effect. At least 90% of the relationships I’ve been in (romantic or platonic) were sparked in Austin—at coffee shops with mismatched furniture, outdoor old-school movie screenings at the Blue Starlite, or even mornings sweating bullets in a hot yoga class wondering if anyone else forgot to hydrate.
Dating Advice, Courtesy of Austin
As I reflect, I realize Austin has been the ultimate co-conspirator in teaching me some important lessons about relationships—both with others and myself. Here’s some wisdom straight from the heart of this city to yours:
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Start Small, Get Big
Love, like queso at Torchy’s Tacos, starts simply: with quality ingredients. Don’t overcomplicate things on your first date—or your fifteenth. Some of the best conversations I’ve had started with coffee and spiraled into hours of storytelling under string lights. -
Embrace the Impermanence
Not every connection is meant to last, and that’s okay. Some relationships are like a summer evening on Lake Austin—perfect in the moment, but not built to weather a cold front. Let go of the pressure for every date or friendship to be “the one.” Some are just here to teach you something before they drift downstream. -
Stay Curious
Austin loves reinventing itself, and honestly, so should you. Whether that means trying paddleboarding even when you’re certain you’ll fall (spoiler: you will) or having a brutally honest discussion about how your needs have changed, curiosity will keep relationships fresh. It’s about evolving—not morphing into someone you're not—but staying open to growth. -
Find Your Corner of Weird
What I love most about this city is that it encourages you to just… be authentically, weirdly you. Wear sequins to the grocery store. Say yes to an afternoon of hunting for vintage vinyl. Find someone—or some place—that celebrates your quirks instead of just tolerating them.
A City That Feels Like an Old Flame—But Better
Whenever I hear someone say, “Austin just isn’t the same anymore,” it stings. Sure, she’s grown up, gotten a little more expensive, maybe lost a bit of the scrappy rebel vibe I fell for as a teenager. But just like the best relationships, Austin’s core hasn’t changed. It’s still a city that champions creativity, connection, and individuality. And me? I’ll always be the girl who chooses breakfast tacos over brunch every day of the year.
Austin raised me. It taught me that creating a life, much like building a relationship, requires patience, curiosity, and sometimes deciding that life is simply better when you order the extra guac. This city showed me how to love with an open heart—even when it’s messy, even when it changes on you. And for that, I’ll always keep it close.
