Ever feel like a fraud in your own life? Like you’re one misstep away from everyone discovering you’ve been bluffing your way through? Whether it’s your career, relationships, or even hosting a dinner party (we’ve all been there Googling “how to pair wine with empanadas”), impostor syndrome can creep in and make even your best achievements feel counterfeit. The good news? You’re not alone—I’ve been there too, and I’m here to tell you that the transition from impostor to expert is not only possible but also wildly empowering.

Let's talk about what it takes to quiet that inner saboteur and start embracing the role you’ve worked hard to step into.

The Audition You Didn’t Know You Signed Up For

I’ve spent a good portion of my life feeling like a background character in the movie of my own creation. Think of Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses, always supporting others but never quite owning the spotlight. For me, this was particularly true when I moved to Madrid to study for my master’s degree. Picture it: a young Chilean woman walking into a room filled with eloquent academics throwing around cultural references like confetti. I’d nod my head while furiously Googling under the table.

I felt like an outsider, tongue-tied and unqualified. The worst part? Nobody was making me feel this way but… me. That’s the thing about self-doubt—it creeps in disguised as humility but quickly turns toxic when it overstays its welcome.

Recognizing You’re Not ‘Just Lucky’

Or, How I Realized My Mom Was Right All Along

One day, during a heated class discussion about postcolonial literature, a professor turned to me and asked for my opinion. Instead of choking on my espresso or dissolving into the floor, I opened my mouth and realized, “Wait, I know this. This is my wheelhouse!”

It hit me: all those late nights poring over books, all the poems I’d dog-eared in my teenage years (Neruda, you charmer—you owe me so many tears), all the passionate debates with my father over Mistral’s metaphors… they had been building to this moment. My input had worth, and it wasn’t due to luck. It was earned.

So here’s your first takeaway: Stop calling yourself “lucky” every time someone acknowledges your skills. Luck is finding a $5 bill in your jacket pocket; showing up and delivering is a result of preparation and heart, not fortune’s favor.

Fake It... Until You Realize You’re Actually Doing It

We’ve all heard the phrase “fake it till you make it,” but can we please dial back the faking part and focus on what you already bring to the table? Early in my writing career, I felt like I had to overcompensate with perfectly polished language and a too-serious demeanor. Seriously, I looked like I was one rejection away from throwing a Neruda anthology at someone’s head.

But the day I leaned into my voice—authentic, slightly self-deprecating, and unapologetically Chilean—everything shifted. I stopped faking and started honoring my perspective.

When you’re navigating impostor syndrome, remember:
- You are allowed to be work-in-progress. Becoming an expert doesn’t mean knowing everything; it means being open to learning.
- Authenticity beats perfection. People connect with vulnerability and honesty over rigid perfectionism.
- Confidence grows with action. The more you show up, the quieter those “What am I even doing here?” thoughts become.

The Comparison Trap: Your Path, Your Pace

No discussion of impostor syndrome would be complete without addressing the comparison monster. Raise your hand if you’ve ever scrolled through Instagram and felt like you should be doing more, achieving more, or dating someone who looks like they stepped out of a Vogue spread. (Just me?)

When I first moved to Madrid, I was surrounded by people who seemed larger-than-life. Friends whose writing was already published in journals, who spoke four languages fluently, or who treated hosting a dinner for twelve like it was a walk in Retiro Park. Meanwhile, my crowning glory was making a palatable persimmon jam (and yes, I still brag about it).

But here’s a game-changer: What if someone else’s achievements didn’t diminish yours? What if their expertise highlighted different strengths instead of creating a hierarchy? Once I stopped obsessively comparing paths, I could finally embrace my own pace. Slow but unstoppable—like a well-cooked cazuela.

To break out of the comparison trap:
- Remind yourself that you’re only seeing the highlight reel. Every expert you admire had moments of doubt and struggle—they just don’t put those on Facebook.
- Stop measuring yourself against others and start tracking your growth instead. Document your proud moments, no matter how small they seem.
- Celebrate others without discounting your own value. There’s space for everyone here.

People Aren’t Watching as Closely as You Think

Let’s be real: most of the time, nobody is scrutinizing you as much as you think they are. When I took my first job editing an anthology, I wasted countless hours agonizing over whether a misplaced comma would tank my credibility. (Spoiler alert: it didn’t.)

Whether you’re nervously hosting a social gathering or stepping into a leadership role, remember this nugget of truth—a bit humbling but also freeing: People are busy thinking about themselves, not dissecting your every move.

So mess up, learn, and keep going. Honestly, the people who truly matter will remember your laugh, your passion, and your typos only as “charming quirks.”

Rewriting the Narrative

Moving from impostor to expert doesn’t happen overnight—it’s a gradual shift, like watching stars come out at twilight. First, one bright moment. Then another. And over time, you realize you’re standing under a whole galaxy of proof that you can. That you are.

My journey from Santiago to Madrid to where I stand now wasn’t without its hiccups. There were far too many sleepless nights, emails I wish I could’ve rewritten, and moments I doubted whether I deserved the seat I fought for. But here’s my well-earned truth: no one is going to hand you a golden stamp that says, “Congratulations, you’re officially worthy.” You’re the one who decides that.

So, whether you’re nervously navigating a new relationship or taking a bold career leap, don’t wait for external validation to tell you you’ve made it. Start speaking to yourself like the expert you already are. Trust me—it’s the role you were born to play.

Remember that impostor feeling? Here’s your new mantra: I’m not lucky. I’m ready. And when in doubt, just imagine me cheering you on from Santiago, sipping a cortado, and reminding you that you’ve absolutely got this.