I was running late—again. My life has a rhythm, but not the one I want. Ask any Southern girl raised on gospel choirs and Sunday brunch fried chicken; rhythm is everything, and I’d lost mine that day. Manhattan’s A train was my pulpit, and I was sprinting down the steps, one hand clutching my bag, the other my dignity.

The subway screeched as the doors shut. Missed it. Great. I slumped onto the nearest bench, a gust of hot tunnel air streamlining my flyaways. That’s when I noticed him—dark aviators, a vintage Rolling Stones T-shirt, and a calm that dared you to reconsider your impatience. He looked up, saw my disheveled state, smiled, and said with the gravitas of someone three spirits deep into an old-school blues session, “You’re right on time.”

I was not right on time. I was very much on the wrong side of late. But his words hung there like the scent of jasmine on a Charleston porch—a veil of gentleness I didn’t know I needed. I laughed. “Not according to my boss.” He shrugged. “Maybe not for the meeting, but maybe for something else.”

The Strange Gift of Stranger Perspective

We didn’t exchange names or numbers, but what happened that day stuck with me, not just because it was oddly cinematic, but because his words caught me off guard. They forced me to slow-walk a crucial realization: I had been checking all the wrong clocks.

We all do this, don’t we? Race against anything that ticks. We measure moments by minutes and milestones, fussing over the grind of things: that next job promotion, that next relationship milestone. Heck, even that next match in your Hinge queue. But what are we running toward? And more importantly, what are we running away from?

This stranger didn’t know my story, but his words felt oddly prescriptive—something I needed to pin to my fridge or tattoo on my brain (handwritten in Gullah script, preferably). Timing isn’t one-size-fits-all, and sometimes you’re not late, you’re just... recalibrating.

Are You Dancing to Somebody Else’s Beat?

Life, and particularly dating, can feel like an endless deadline. Who hasn’t felt the suffocating whisper of “You’re 33; why aren’t you married yet?” Or, “You’ve been on five dates; why hasn’t it turned into something serious?” (Raise your hand if your auntie at Thanksgiving has ever “just wanted to check” your dating timeline. Mine certainly has—bless her sweet, nosy soul.)

But here’s the thing: thinking like that puts someone else’s clock at the center of your universe. And as my subway prophet suggested, doing that might mean missing another moment—the right moment. Instead of wondering where the train's headed, maybe look up and notice what's parked on the platform.

The Lesson I Keep Learning (and Relearning)

Sometimes N.Y.C. transit gets it right: they throw you curveballs you didn’t ask for. I’ve missed trains and landed coffee dates instead. I’ve stumbled off course and found myself on spontaneous evening strolls across the Brooklyn Bridge. And sure, I’ve slowed down long enough to chat with the occasional leather-jacketed enigma quoting pseudo-Buddhist truths.

The lesson I keep bumping into is this: Embrace the pause. Lean into the unexpected. It’s there that the real magic of connection—and self-awareness—exists. Because the truth is, you'll never show up perfect or "on time" for love, just like I haven’t showed up perfect for figuring out the rest of my deadlines. You just have to show up fully you, even if you’re sweating and slightly out of breath.

How You Can Be “Right on Time”

Whether it’s love, a new connection, or just life itself whispering you're behind, the best way to fight the feeling is to fine-tune what “on time” means to you, personally. Oh, and before you whip out your phone to doomscroll through engagement photos or work emails, take this cheat sheet with you:

  1. Honor Your Pace.
    Not everyone has a metronome clicking at the same rhythm. Some are jazz; others are bluegrass. Your journey doesn’t need to look like your best friend’s wedding registry or your siblings’ Christmas-card-perfect families. You’ll get there, and "there" probably isn’t where you think it is.

  2. Detach From the Outcome.
    Some of the best memories in my life happened because something went “wrong.” Missed a train? Had a delightful chat. Lost touch with one friend? Rekindled an entirely unexpected relationship. When you let go of expectations, the universe sneaks in surprises more profound than your Pinterest mood board.

  3. Listen to those “Small Words.”
    "You’re right on time" might’ve been subway guy’s version of poetic nonsense, but it had heft behind it. We often ignore the small nudges life gives us—be it a compliment from a stranger or an intuitive pull to reconnect with someone. Small words hold big truths, y’all.

  4. Celebrate Your Progress.
    Who decided we only throw parties for engagements and job promotions? Girl, did you get through the day without calling your ex when Mercury was in retrograde? You deserve cake. Celebrate your perfectly imperfect timing and milestones others can’t see.

The Encore Is Always Yours

I never saw him again—my MTA philosopher—but I’d like to think his words reached me on that bench for a reason. The rhythms of my Charleston roots remind me to embrace pauses, improvisation, and off-beats, while living in New York City taught me that momentum comes from stepping boldly into whatever train (or station stop) life offers next.

You, too, are always “right on time,” even if it doesn’t look or feel that way. And maybe, just maybe, the stranger you meet today has a truth for you—or maybe you’re the stranger they need. So slow down, breathe, and don’t miss the train of this very moment.