Roll Credits: Introduction
Have you ever sat back and imagined your life as a blockbuster movie? The highs, the heartbreaks, the villains, the surprising plot twists. (Cue dramatic Nollywood zoom-in and that one suspenseful drumbeat—iyòh!) If my life were a movie, let’s just say we’d need a genre-bending scriptwriter and a cast that knows how to serve Beyoncé-level drama while finding the quiet beauty of everyday moments. And yes, there would be a killer soundtrack because, in my world, love and life unfold to the beats of Burna Boy and Tiwa Savage.

Like most women navigating love and relationships in a globalized world, my story isn’t just romance or self-discovery—it’s a riveting mix of Nigerian traditions, Afro-urban sass, and the occasional tear-jerking monologue on the Tube in London. But if Netflix called today and said, “Harriet, we’re greenlighting your life story,” who would play who?

Here’s how I’d cast my life, with some playful reflections (and a few life lessons sprinkled in along the way).

The Leading Lady: Who Plays Me?
Let’s get one thing clear: my fictional self deserves to be portrayed by a powerhouse whose energy can light up a Jollof-fueled wedding party in Lagos. For this, I’d tap Lupita Nyong’o. Sure, she’s Kenyan, but Lupita has this graceful intensity that nails the delicate balance of being playful yet purposeful. Whether I’m sketching out relationship advice on an empty Word doc at 2 a.m. or calling my mom in Abuja for the 53rd time this month (“Mummy, I found another gray hair!”), Lupita could capture both my curious intellect and quirks.

My reel life would highlight the restless ambition that led me to pack my bags for the U.K. post-graduation—and the moments of self-doubt I’ve grappled with in building a career based on love, empowerment, and storytelling. Lupita would also get the accent perfectly—that lilting blend of Nigerian roots with a hint of London polish. She’d slay those soft Abuja childhood montages (running around barefoot at my cousin’s wedding, stealing puff-puff off the buffet) and still own my fierce twenty-something moves when I took Lagos hustle head-on.

Lesson: Embrace yourself fully, quirks, flaws, and all. The right person (or actor!) will reflect all your dimensions without losing the magic.

The Love Interests: The Good, The 'Not So Good,' and the Greats
Ah, romance. What movie is complete without a couple of suitors vying for our protagonist’s affections? My love life spans the spectrum—from the comical crushes my siblings loved to tease me about at family dinners to deep relationships that felt like home.

For the sweetheart who taught me kindness but made me realize we were better off as friends, let’s give Daniel Kaluuya his time to shine. With his understated charm and dazzling smile, he could slip into this role effortlessly. There would be a sweet montage of strolls under London’s gray skies and chilled glasses of zobo during lazy Abuja afternoons. But at some point, this relationship-turned-friendship would fade out to the tune of Asa's “Fire on the Mountain.” No hard feelings, just a quiet understanding that relationships can enrich us, even if they aren’t forever.

Now for that ex—you know the one. Mr. “I Love You, But Commitment Is Just Too Mainstream.” Enter John Boyega. His charisma could reflect the attraction that burned far longer than it should have—despite all the red flags. This chapter would be explosive, probably involving me in my best gele ready to dramatize a heartbreak monologue Nollywood-style. And when the breakup happens? Cue Burna Boy’s “Ye” in the background because, as dramatic as love can get, a bad boy is often only the segue for better.

But for THE love story—you know, the one worth binge-watching and rewatching—let’s cast someone who represents stability, kindness, and, most importantly, understands that real love is built on shared laughter and honest communication. Maybe a little stretch with Adore You-era Harry Styles? Stay with me here—I imagine him singing me assurances while we both discuss life goals, like planning a long-overdue road trip to Cape Town. Or I’ll keep it closer to home: Nigerian sweetheart Nonso Bassey. He gets the cultural backdrop and the modern touch I’m all about.

Lesson: Relationships are our greatest classroom. Some teach us patience, others self-respect. And one will always teach you how to love for real.

The Supporting Cast: Friends and Family Who Keep Me Grounded
Every blockbuster needs an outstanding supporting cast—those motion-blur characters who help the lead carry the story. In my life, my close-knit family would be impossible to miss. (See: any gathering where five aunties debate the seasoned perfection of the pepper soup while my cousins and I whisper about TikTok trends.)

My mom? Oh, Viola Davis—no contest. She could embody my mother’s incredible blend of razor-sharp wisdom, quiet strength, and a killer side-eye that speaks more than words ever could. You’d see her coaching teenage-me through homework meltdowns or dishing out proverbs when I was lost in yet another “he didn’t text back” heartbreak: “Harriet, don’t let anyone treat you like akara if you’re jollof.” (Aunt Julianna, if you’re reading this, let’s get matching t-shirts for that!)

My friends? They’re the Avengers squad of humor, loyalty, and epic advice who’ve carried me through solo moves, messy breakups, and “first date dress” crises. For my Nigerian crew: Genevieve Nnaji for that effortlessly cool friend who always gives wise counsel. For my London circle: Michaela Coel, capturing the no-nonsense humor and wine-fueled career pep talks so central to big-city friendships.

Lesson: Love isn’t just romantic. Surround yourself with people who root for your glow-up, whether you’re achieving it on a red carpet or during an existential spiral on your couch.

The Soundtrack: Life in Beats and Ballads
No life movie is complete without a killer soundtrack. Mine would be heavy on Afro-pop icons, with Burna Boy narrating my fiercest moments (“Dangote” for career goals, anyone?) and Tiwa Savage supplying the romantic beats. First-kiss montages call for something wistful, like Asa’s “Jailer,” while my more chaotic younger adventures would need D’banj’s “Oliver Twist” for proper chaos vibes.

But it’s not just about the party starters—it’s about the ballads, too. There’s a comforting familiarity in songs from home, like when I traveled between Lagos and London with playlists full of Fela Kuti’s rebellious optimism. Every beat reminds me that love and relationships—be it with partners, family, or yourself—are just rhythm and energy waiting to sync up.

Lesson: Music connects us to memory. Choose your life’s playlist wisely and let it always reflect your ever-evolving story.

The Closing Scene: And… Cut!
If my life were a movie, the credits would roll with me sitting on a Lagos beach, pen in hand, telling stories about love—how it’s messy, magical, and entirely worth it. My story’s still unfolding, but one thing’s for sure: it’ll be bold, colorful, and (hopefully) filled with lots of laughter and puff-puff.

And maybe, just maybe, a Netflix deal in the end. Would you watch?